Was he unfaithful?

One question I find the tarot can always accurately answer is ‘ is s/he having an affair’ 

However recently I did a reading where a woman asked,  ‘did he sleep with other people while we were together?’ and she drew 

King pentacles / 9 of swords / 6 cups R / 4 cups. 

She felt he could have been a good boyfriend/ but also felt huge anxiety/ she needed to see the situation very clearly, without rose tinted glasses or being overly romantic/ and she was getting lost in her own thoughts.

That is not a clear answer and I was puzzled.  Usually the cards are really specific around this question.

6 of cups

 

So I asked more about the relationship.  Turned out her big fear was that he would be pressured by his family to have an arranged marriage.

Now I can understand the cards. They indicate that he did not sleep with anyone else while they were together, but he was emotionally unfaithful; he did let his family introduce him to other women.  There was no sex, but he did think about marrying them…   

The second I said that she nodded vigorously, that made complete sense to her.

4 of cups

Those cards, they are so subtle...

Loving what we want to see

A friend and I were discussing the recent movie version of the Great Gastby,  and I said something like,  Gatsby's tragedy was that he didn't even know Daisy,  he never really saw her.   And it reminded me of this quote from Gone with the Wind...

 “I loved something I made up, something that’s just as dead as Melly is. I made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it. And when Ashley came riding along, so handsome, so different, I put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And I wouldn’t see what he really was. I kept on loving the pretty clothes—and not him at all.”
Scarlett in Gone with the Wind

People come and tell me things like this all the time... it's so important to see the person as they truly are,  and not put your own suit on them...

Flirting with New York

Often people come to me, knowing that the old relationship is over, but still entangled with that person, and ask me if they should date other people.  The cards often tell them that they need a break, to give them time to adjust to their new situation - they draw the 4 swords or the hermit.   

But doing nothing is hard: you feel empty, you want some action to fill the void.  So I tell them to go and flirt with New York. This is an amazing city, but it’s also a tough one.  If we don’t take advantage of all the marvelous things that go on here, we are paying the price of living here – huge cost of living, crowds, lack of personal and psychic space – without taking the benefits.  

 

So I tell them go out with humans (as opposed to dating) old friends, new friends, potential friends, and flirt with New York. Find music, lectures, theatre, and museums.  It doesn’t have to be intellectual, go to new restaurants, comedy shows, and find the best Bloody Mary in the city or the perfect brunch place. Go play tennis,  cycle,  improve your one mile time.   Flirt with the city and that will help let the old feelings go and give space for new relationships to start.

Tarot of Quotes

That Pinterest - aside from me having a new rule of not visiting the site after midnight,  it has given me great pleasure.  There are such a range of Tarot images out there,  that explore and shade the meanings of the cards.
 

I have discovered some new tarot decks there that I hadn’t seen anywhere else.    Tarot of Quotes is from an English tarot card reader who is creating something really beautiful (it’s still a work in progress) I love that the internet lets me access all these amazing thoughts about tarot,  lets people put their own imagery up -  even if it's only one card,  one new image can just tweak your understanding and let it fall into place. 

After a reading we usually decide which cards were the most important and I recommend that you Google the image,  find a version of the card that speaks to you and then put it up in your office or on your computer, to let it keep guiding you.