Finding answers

People come to Tarot readings when they have questions. That's obvious.  So I meet people who are struggling with answers on one issue or another.

One question I often ask them,  is that if a friend had this dilemma,  how would you feel about it,  what would you advise?  Especially around relationships,  people get lost in their wants and needs and stop seeing things as they are. But if they describe the situation in the third person,  and give their opinion there,  they are often surprised at their insights. 

Finding that balance - it is worth growing this relationship or should I end it,  well the cards are usually super clear on that. 

Gorgeous art work by Vittorio Zecchin (1878-1947)

Mothers...

I don't really follow pop culture all that much, but my feed is full of Brooke Shields and the documentary about her life right now,  and the algorithm knows me well,  because I clicked on it. 

And then I fell down the rabbit hole and ended up watching this amazing interview of Brooke by another child star,  Drew Barrymore.  And Drew just let is slip that somehow, in her entanglement with her daughter,  Drew's mother used to seduce Drew's boyfriends.  Even Brooke's face froze for a minute at this throw away line.  

And I thought about enmeshment,  and how some women just can't let their children become individuals,  but are always reflections of them.  

Some of the women I read for, come to me to talk about their mothers.  It's such a central relationship,  mother and child,  mother and daughter.  Sometimes,  it's easier with sons - the difference in gender protects both of them.  But I see the stickiness that some mothers have with their adult daughters and how difficult it is for the young (and not so young) women to pull away from their mother's grasp. 

The importance of rituals

It's easy to be ambivalent about rituals, a whiff of the past,  of it's muddy complexity,  and at the same time,  something to hold you through important times.  We watched the Coronation of Charles III and while I kept having Monty Python voices running through my head,  I was also moved by this strange event that had it's roots deep in medieval times.  And the music was sublime.

Weddings,  funerals,  choreographed events with small moments that mean everything and large ones that can mean nothing.  I've been a few of them recently and I'm struck at how the familiar can feel comforting during stressful times.  Going to funerals,  never sure of what to do or what to say,  the ritual gives you the steps of the dance,  and you can move with more confidence.  

There are rituals around the tarot - I always wrap my decks in silk scarves and they live in small carved wooden boxes between readings.  Does it matter?  Does it make a difference to the reading?  I don't think so,  but handling them with respect makes it easier to bring a respectful attitude to the reading,  clearing the space for the discussion to come.  That's where ritual helps,  in creating and sustaining the atmosphere, giving you the confidence to move forward. 

Everyone has psychic moments

All day today,  I was humming a song that I couldn't quite get out...

If you could read my mind,  love, what a tale my thoughts could tell...

And my husband said,  oh you heard.

Heard what?

It's just been announced that Gordon Lightfoot died. 

I didn't know at all... but I've been singing him all morning.

I think lots of people have those 'witchy' moments,  where you know something you shouldn't,  see something that wasn't there,  intuit something on no information at all.  Everyone has psychic moments.  

I didn't think I had such a particular relationship with Gordon Lightfoot,  and yet here I was,  unusually humming him all morning, only to hear of his passing...