8 Measureable things…

I have read so many relationship books that I can’t remember where I read this or if it is an amalgamation of many books, but this is one thing I’ve often recommended in the past for couples who came to me for counseling.

Create a list of 8 measureable things that you would like your spouse/partner to do for you. Being kind or listening more doesn’t count, it has to be something concrete and quantifiable – e.g. Empty the dishwasher every day without being asked or thanked - or let’s have a designated night in the week where we go out separately, with our own friends – a clear measurable task or event where everyone can know if it has happened or not.. Women often write about household chores, men often write about sex, but not always…


Then you read each other’s lists and each agree to do 3 things on it. People often find their partner’s list fascinating – so this is what you really want from me, right now…

If you can’t manage that, then the relationship is in a sorry state and you need quick intervention/counseling. But most couples can agree and it’s amazing how quickly they feel better about things, as these needs start to get met in a way they can both recognize.


Of the literally hundreds of relationship books that I’ve read, one that stands out and that I happily recommend is Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix

Using Tarot for Personal Gain

A while ago my sister sent me this interesting article… and in it Alexander Chee was writing about how Tarot no longer worked for him, because he had been leaning on it too heavily as he read for himself how lovers felt about him and then no longer felt the need to clarify things with them, and not surprisingly his relationships started to fail.


I have to say it’s been years since I’ve even tried to read for myself. I can read really well for others, but whenever I tried to read for myself, I got mud, and couldn’t see anything. One thing I think, without trying to sound too pure, is that Tarot works best in service. If I serve others, it works, if I use to serve myself, it doesn’t. And that’s the kind of tarot I’m comfortable with.


The author in the article was like the one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind, giving himself too much power and then everything got blurry. But if you understand we are all short sighted, but the Tarot helps us look ahead with more clarity, that’s how it works best.


Beautiful top painting is by Ariel Brearly

Lots of queens

I’ve gone through the cards individually and am now looking at what groupings of cards mean – what does it mean if you draw lots of queens? Drawing lots of any card intensifies the message of each individual card. If you draw lots of Queens it can mean that there are a lot of women in your life, or a lot of feminine energy. It may mean you want more male energy to balance all these Queens or that each queen is a different aspect of yourself.


The Queen of Wands is fiery and sensual, The Queen of Swords is intellectual and can be cutting, the Queen of Cups is intuitive and empathic and the Queen of Pentacles is grounded and nurturing. And all these Queens relate to the Empress, who is fertile with possibility. I always stress that the court cards are really complex and need the context of your individual reading to make true sense of them. (of course, that applies to all cards, but court cards in particular!)

New Year's Wishes

Neil Gaiman said it beautifullly a few years ago:- May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.


Wishing you all good things for the new year...

Liat

My Current favorite review

I am so grateful when people write reviews about our readings. I'm up to 90 reviews at Citysearch right now, and if Yelp didn't filter most of the reviews, I would have 60 there (you can read all of them by clicking on the word 'filtered')

This is my favorite current review - from Citysearch
I went to Liat 6 months ago and I was so mad about my cards that I just wrote off our first meaning. Half the things she said were thing I didn't want to hear or thought they were completely wrong. After 6 months everything she said would happen has happened. I decided to go back to her and tell her everything and this time I had an open mind. She is truly understanding and you can tell she only wants the best for you and that you may not get the cards you want but take it in and do something about it. I will definitely see her again and have already recommend her to my friends.


And I loved it because it was completely true about her feelings. I remembered our first reading and I could see she didn't want to acknowledge what I was saying... but I can't change the cards. If that's what I see, that's what I report... So I was so happy when she returned and told me that she hadn't believed me and didn't like what I was saying and then everything I said came true and now she's ready to listen again...

A lot of the reviews talk about how I don't sugar coat things. But I've come to the place in life where I really do prefer a hard truth to a soft lie. If we start with truth we can get somewhere, but if we hide in lies, it's all soft and sinking quicksand and there's no way out...

Transitioning

I often see the two of swords, when people have moved from defending themselves to an entrenched position and in danger of becoming defensive. It’s a hard card to live with, and one of the things I always tell people is that although the woman in the chair is safe, she’s also isolated and can no longer see the situation clearly.


So the question is always, how do we get out of that position? The other day I had a reading where the client drew the two of swords and in the position on top of that card, she drew the Queen of Swords. And I said - that’s a perfect transition!


Before she would go from having two swords up to putting both swords down and then being too vulnerable, and then lifting both swords up and feeling trapped. The solution is to have one sword up, strong and capable of defense/protection, but it leaves the other hand free, to reach out and connect.


I love the visual short hand of the tarot.

Much to be thankful for

Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday. I like it for lots of reasons, but mainly because a) the food is delicious, b) there is no crazy gift buying agenda and c) it asks us to be Thankful. I’m always grateful to be reminded of things to be thankful for.


I don’t want to sound so pure, like I don’t get snarky and mean… but I do think we rush through our lives and the details sometimes blur, and taking a day (or three!) to prepare a festive feast, or to sit with others who have prepared food with love and care, and then to have time to walk in the woods and see the earth get ready to wind down for winter, leaves making a soft cushion, ready for snow, helps us become part of the life cycle again.


I know we are always separating ourselves from nature, being warmer or cooler than the weather outside, being dryer or cleaner than any animal could be. But I think it’s always worthwhile to remember life goes in cycles. That thanksgiving and autumn fall in the same time, that family and food are precious to me and that it really is only about time together, that there is no gift giving frenzy, just makes this my favorite holiday.