Saturday, February 6, 2016

Better than human?

I had time to spare (better than time to kill) and randomly watched a TV show that I had no knowledge of - Dark Net,  episode one,  Crush.  It was about the influence of the internet on relationships, something that interests me greatly.

I was so struck by the one about Rinko,  the Japanese girl on Love Plus,  a dating game. It's a really basic AI, no where nearly as good as the one depicted on the movie Her.  But what happens is the same - the lonely man forms a relationship with the game that is far more important to him than any relationship he has IRL (in real life)  and starts to prevent him forming any potential relationship with a real life woman.  Why? Well, because humans are complex and difficult and require compromise. They aren't always available or receptive or interested.  Rinko is always there,  you have complete control in the relationship - switch it on, there she is, interested and pleased to see you,  switch it off and there she goes,  no complaints or needs of her own.  

It saddened me to see this boy chide his mother for delicately saying she hopes he meets a real girl sometime.  "Don't talk like that,  Rinko doesn't like it."  Of course games are easier than humans,  but these men are finding games more rewarding than humans - better to be in the fantasy world of Rinko's love than in the frustrating world of dating. 

I think humans are tricky - with opinions and actions that you don't always expect or like. The other story in the episode had a terrible tale of revenge porn that was genuinely frightening.  But still,  this stepping back into a fantasy world with a programmed AI did not feel like a solution,  but like another kind of problem. Intimacy takes work and risk,  but connection is part of our humanity and needs to be fostered.  

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

two readings, worlds apart and she draws the same card...

I did a reading for a girl the other day, and she drew the Tower  at her core. That's a hard card to hold at your center,  it means that you feel things are falling apart,  that your center doesn't hold. She told me that she had had a tarot reading in Cambodia four months ago and drew the Tower there too.  I love how she can draw cards from two different decks across the planet and pick the same ones. 
She was 26. I wish someone had told me when I was in my mid twenties that those years are often sticky - we leave the familiarity of school life and for many people the first few jobs out of college are experimental and not necessarily fabulous.  She is a recent arrival in NYC,  which is also often confronting and can feel lonely.  
But I am not worried for her. She drew two aces - the Ace of Pentacles and the Ace of Wands.  Her energy is going to pick up again, and soon work and money will sort themselves out.  Sometimes we have to fall out of the crumbling tower,  but even though that's difficult,  it's much better than being stuck in the tower!

Friday, January 29, 2016

Often you know the answers, but still you need to hear it

Saw a girl the other day,  well not a girl,  she came to me on her 35th birthday, bringing two best friends to listen on the reading.

She asked about a man she had been dating for two years and drew
2 cups R,  5 of swords,  7 of swords

And I looked at her sorrowfully and said,  oh honey,  he's not good for you.   He is not returning your affections,  your love card is reversed and then you have both the betrayal cards,  he is stealing your swords and making you feel bad about yourself,  and misbehaving towards you.

Her friends looked at her triumphantly,  apparently I had passed the test.   Then she told me she had just broken up with him but she should have done it two years ago.  When they first started dating she had hoped he would be 'the one'.  But when the conversation moved to exclusivity he refused and she let him.   No wonder there were all those swords.   He was never 'unfaithful' because he never promised fidelity but that is such a slippery argument.  She agreed that she should have broken up with him there and then,  but somehow stayed in the relationship for another two years before realizing it was going no where.   We discussed setting better boundaries and listening to people's words, especially if their actions follow suite! If they tell you they are not ready or willing to have an exclusive relationship,  and you want one,  you have to realize that you are not going to get one with them.

She said she knew everything I had just told her,  and I said 'yes,  and then a stranger with 78 pieces of cardboard could tell you it,  without knowing a thing about you!  Next time listen to yourself better.'  She sighed ruefully and promised she would try.  She said she felt affirmed in her decision to stop seeing him. Sometimes we want something so badly,  we lose sight of what we are compromising in order to hold on to it.

Monday, January 18, 2016

The time is always ripe to do right

“Time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to work to be co-workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.”
Dr. Martin Luther King

We must use time creatively - indeed we must.  What a great light that man shone and how we still need it in the world. 

Friday, January 15, 2016

Message for the New Year

Someone sent me this and it made me smile...
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
  If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
 If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
 If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
 If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
 If you can conquer tension without medical help,
 If you can relax without alcohol, 
 If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably
 The Family Dog!
 And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ....

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Couture experience

The other day we watched Dior and I, a documentary about a new chief designer coming to the House of Dior.  There is no part of me that actually wants a couture dress that costs tens of thousands of dollars,  but there is something about owning something that people with extraordinary skills have worked on with such passion and vision,  that's quite appealing..

Then we went and saw a Mozart performance at the Lincoln Center and it gave me the same feeling as the couture dress - it seemed ridiculously luxurious that all these people would practice for hours and audition and train,  all to play actual,  live music to a room full of people.  I felt like I owned a piece of couture at a fraction of the price!  This feeling was strengthened when we went and saw the Goldberg variations being performed at the Armory.  This time the room was bigger,  the audience was smaller and it was only one person sitting by the piano,  performing his magic.  His skill was so sublime,  the music so beautiful,  the situation so unique,  again,  I had the feeling of owning my own piece of couture. 

I will never be able to afford the tens of thousands to buy one dress (nor would I have anywhere to wear it!)  but anyone in New York  can easily give themselves the experience of being in the presence of people with extraordinary skills at the top of their game,  working with passion and vision.   And that makes us very rich indeed.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

After every reading

After every reading,  I give you a post card with the cards you drew written down.  I photograph that postcard and if you come and see me again we can see if there is a change or a shift in the cards.  If you come regularly,  we start to see patterns in the cards.   

I have descriptions of every card we discussed in my blog.  If you want to know more about a specific card, just enter it in the upper left hand corner (near the B, blog symbol) and it will come up.

I also encourage people to go on google images or pintrest to find images of certain cards that speak to them,  so if you are riding the Queen of Cups energy, you can find a version that speaks to you and keep it on your phone,  or by your computer,  to let the energy infuse your day.