One thing I always recommend to people is to speak their truth. You don't have to tell the whole truth to people, but don't lie.
If I am feeling depressed and anxious and sad, and the checkout person at the supermarket asks "how are you?" I say "tired." Not the whole truth, but a truth. And often I would get a slip of the mask and a human looks back at me and they answer "God, me too!" And even that bit of congruence makes me feel more real, more connected.
So it's not that I have to tell all my secrets to the universe, or be rude or even say things that make me feel over exposed. It's just that I have to be congruent. And that really does help.
When I first came to NYC, way back in 2002, I had a really rough first year, which is not uncommon for people coming to such a busy, humming place. I felt lost and isolated. In the middle of the worst of it, I just began saying things that were true - even at parties. How are you? I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed, I would reply. I can't tell you how many people said, oh, the first year is the worst, and shared their experiences. And it got better. Me being real, allowed others to be real and that helped ground me.
So speak a truth, doesn't have to be all of it, but what ever you say has to be real, even if it's "I don't have the bandwidth for that right now." which I have found myself saying from time to time.
Being congruent helps.
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