Was he unfaithful?

One question I find the tarot can always accurately answer is ‘ is s/he having an affair’ 

However recently I did a reading where a woman asked,  ‘did he sleep with other people while we were together?’ and she drew 

King pentacles / 9 of swords / 6 cups R / 4 cups. 

She felt he could have been a good boyfriend/ but also felt huge anxiety/ she needed to see the situation very clearly, without rose tinted glasses or being overly romantic/ and she was getting lost in her own thoughts.

That is not a clear answer and I was puzzled.  Usually the cards are really specific around this question.

6 of cups

 

So I asked more about the relationship.  Turned out her big fear was that he would be pressured by his family to have an arranged marriage.

Now I can understand the cards. They indicate that he did not sleep with anyone else while they were together, but he was emotionally unfaithful; he did let his family introduce him to other women.  There was no sex, but he did think about marrying them…   

The second I said that she nodded vigorously, that made complete sense to her.

4 of cups

Those cards, they are so subtle...

Infidelity

I like Nerve Magazine,  (not just because they did a small piece on me once  )

I was reading them recently and they had a terrific interview with Ira Glass,   and he said something so interesting,  that I really believe, about infidelity:

“For example, before people begin an affair, before they cheat, the real transition begins when they confide in someone else. That’s where the betrayal begins…And as soon as he starts having truths that he doesn’t tell to her but that he tells to someone else…that’s the beginning of the end for them.”  

I see this all the time in the stories people tell me. When you are confiding more to your friends than to your lover/spouse, if you are being more intimate with others than with them, that’s when trouble starts.  It’s not that you can’t be intimate with other people, it’s just that you can’t have stories you withhold from your lover but share with others, especially others you find attractive; that is a tiny crack between the two of you, which can easily grow if you put enough pressure on it.