I've met quite a few women going through divorce (perfect time for a tarot reading!) who talk about friendships. They were part of a couple, and knew other couples, and now they are single and they don't fit as comfortably with their old couples, some of whom are still seeing the ex, and what do they do?
I agree that it's hard to maintain friendships after a big life change - you get divorced, your couple friends still see him and the new partner (even worse if she was the affair partner!)
It all depends on how much work you want to put into it.
I have changed countries three times, each time having to build an entire new friendship network, under very different circumstances, so I know how tricky it can be.
I think we need all kinds of friends. People with whom we can be deeply emotionally intimate, who know our history. People we see daily, often at work, who we can rely on or who make the day more fun (huge bonus if they are both!) People we see at the gym and have coffee with afterwards. People who will go with us to our obscure interest. People who go dancing with us.
Having only a few friends to meet all of our myriad needs can be too straining for them and for us. I have quite a few, distinct circles of friends and acquaintances. This allows me to balance out my needs and shift with them. I have dog walking friends, I have gym buddies, I have work friends, and distant cousins who are always good for some gossip! I have friends I tell my secrets to and others to discuss politics. Sometimes I can meet their needs, sometimes they can meet mine, and together we can swim through our days - which is what we need friends for!
Friendship is important to me, so I've put time and energy into it, and in the 7 years since I've returned to Australia, I have built some solid, fun friendships. It's not instant, but it definitely flowers over time.
