Much to be thankful for...

So around this time I often meet super stressed women who are trying to be their own personal Martha Stewart and put on the most amazing meal possible.  The magazines don't help with their helpful suggestions of the perfect pie crust.  It's very easy to get lost in the preparation and be sweaty and exhausted on the day! 

I love traditional meals and can fully understand why you need to have five sides,  each one with it's own special twists.  I love a beautifully set table and a part of me even wants seasonal crockery.  But I don't go there,  because the most important thing about this festival is that we sit around a table and say what we are grateful for this year.  What we hope for next year. And if it takes store bought pie and plain brussel sprouts in order for me to sit at the table and be present,  then that's what I will do. 

So this Thanksgiving I wish you all to be present with the people who you love,  who love you.  And may you laugh at the table and share what makes you thankful. 

Amongst other things,  I'm thankful that my friend has volunteered to do the turkey,  and I only have to bring sides this year!  

Sometimes it feels hard to be Grateful

I love Thanksgiving.  A festival that involves food,  is non-denominational, gets friends and family together around the theme of Gratitude?  It's like it was made for me!

But sometimes we have so much going on,  or things are so not going our way,  that it can be hard to celebrate. It can feel like one more task,  one more demand.  And our family may not appreciate our efforts,  or rush off early to another commitment,  or watch TV and not talk. 

And I think we need to hold space for both - for the chance to honor Gratitude and the emotional cost of putting on events that may not be appreciated. 

One client came to me and told me that she hated Thanksgiving because her mother used to do it all,  and now that her mother can't,  it has become her job and it's just too much.  Even with other family reluctantly bringing a dish,  even with her kids dragooned into helping, it's too much work.  

So make it less work,  I said.  Don't do 12 different dishes.  Do only what works for you,  have a potluck,  go to a restaurant,  change it all together.  But do do something that allows for a sense of gratitude.  It's the feeling,  not the food that is important.  If no one can make it on the day,  then have it the weekend before,  or the Saturday after.  

This year we are having a Friendsgiving on Sunday.   Everyone is bringing something.  I had over committed myself,  and then realized I couldn't do that much.  My friend graciously rang me and said,  I know you're going through a lot,  my son's friend will make the pies.  I felt such relief!  I'm doing brussel sprouts and asparagus,  I'm meeting with good friends and their extended families.  It's been a tough year,  but I am letting myself be grateful... 

Much to be thankful for...

Thanksgiving is my favorite festival.  I hate the way Christmas has been co-opted by gift giving and Valentine's can feel so competitive or isolating.  But here all we have to do is think about what we are thankful for and eat together.  

I love that the meal is the same or similar every year.   I like traditional foods.  The very first time I cooked a turkey was our first thanksgiving in the US and I was in my 30's.  I went to the New York Times, found a recipe,  followed it to the letter and hey presto,  we had Thanksgiving.  Over the years I have modified recipes and my son has become the turkey master (as well as baking a really fabulous apple pie) 

And then to the gratitude part.  I love the idea of dedicating time to being thankful.  There is much to be thankful for,  even during the hard years.  It can be easy to focus on what is wrong,  harder sometimes to shine a light on what is good.  So I'm grateful to have time where the focus shifts and we think about what we are thankful for.

Here is one charming Thanksgiving story,  about chance meetings via text and continued friendship.  Which to my mind is what Thanksgiving can be all about... 

I'm wishing you light and goodness and a year that gives you much to be thankful for. 

Gratitude

I love Thanksgiving, or at least what the holiday has evolved into for me.  A day to share food with friends and family,  to be consciously grateful.  What better day could you have?  A day that you don't have to be anxious about buying or receiving presents.  I really don't like how sales are encroaching on Thanksgiving,  but I'm lucky - there is nothing I so need that I have to rush up from the table to stand in a draughty line and wait for it.  I would much rather be eating pie!  So I'm grateful for that too.  

My blessing for everyone is as it always is - may we have love and laughter in our homes, may we give the kindness we would like to receive,  may we count our blessings...

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, however you celebrate!

Thanksgiving

Anthonius Claessins, c. 1538-1613

To give thanks,  we must have gratitude; but gratitude is such a subtle thing – it requires an awareness of what we have, what others don’t, how fortunate our lives are.  My son is studying European history and I said to him that his life today, with its running water, antibiotics and soft clean sheets and clothes, is of a better quality than most nobles were.   

Four Seasons,  by Philip Haas,  New York Botanical Garden

To be alive today, in the West, in America, in New York City, means you can easily access some of the greatest art, thought, humor, food in the world.   But to make any of this meaningful we need to add people.  Thanksgiving is a time to reconnect with friends and family.  For without love, life is hard, even if the bathroom taps are gold…

So I am thankful for living a life better than any Kings five hundred years ago, for the internet which offers endless entertainment, and for my clients, friends and family, who give it all meaning.  

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving, it's my favorite festival - it's about food, friendship and family and being grateful for all that we have. How wonderful that we all take the same 2 days to think about these things!  I have to say I am distressed about the creeping impact that the Friday sales are now having. I wish they didn't start on Thursday night.

But I wish even more, that even if they did start earlier, we would know enough not to go to them. That we truly understood that what is already in the room is more valuable than any stuff you could put in it; that's it people not products that matter.

Lauren Alexander

Of course, if we don't like the people we are with, it's easy to give into our Hunter Gatherer cravings,  and go shopping!  I would strongly encourage people to do the harder work of a) either finding things to like more about the people already in our lives or b) finding new people who we do genuinely like and put them in our lives.

I wish everyone a delicious Thanksgiving and lots of laughter and happy traditions.  To understand that happiness is not getting everything you want, but being truly content with what you have – that is a lifelong blessing I wish for all of us.

Much to be thankful for

Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday. I like it for lots of reasons, but mainly because a) the food is delicious, b) there is no crazy gift buying agenda and c) it asks us to be Thankful. I’m always grateful to be reminded of things to be thankful for.


I don’t want to sound so pure, like I don’t get snarky and mean… but I do think we rush through our lives and the details sometimes blur, and taking a day (or three!) to prepare a festive feast, or to sit with others who have prepared food with love and care, and then to have time to walk in the woods and see the earth get ready to wind down for winter, leaves making a soft cushion, ready for snow, helps us become part of the life cycle again.


I know we are always separating ourselves from nature, being warmer or cooler than the weather outside, being dryer or cleaner than any animal could be. But I think it’s always worthwhile to remember life goes in cycles. That thanksgiving and autumn fall in the same time, that family and food are precious to me and that it really is only about time together, that there is no gift giving frenzy, just makes this my favorite holiday.