Not yet..

Some people are people pleasers and say yes too often.  Some  people shut the door before they have considered all their options and say no too often.  To tell them to switch roles can be really hard and challenging.  So I tell people to answer maybe.  I'll look into that.  I'll check my calendar.  All small answers to give you a breathing space to see if you want to say yes or no,  or maybe not yet,  but soon... 

I read somewhere that some professor instead of grading pass and fail, graded completions and Not Yet.  Not yet is such a better result than fail.  It means,  you need to try again,  but it could easily work next time.  It means you're not quite ready,  but you could be...  

I really liked that idea (I have no idea where I read it,  I read so much on line!)  So if you want to do something but find yourself unable to get there right now,  don't tell yourself you've failed.  Say,  not yet,  but maybe... maybe soon I can do it.... 

When the cards tell you what you don't want to hear

I had a difficult reading the other day.  A client came in to ask how a very important court case was going to go... and the cards were not at all hopeful.  I looked at him and shook my head.  The cards don't see it going your way,  I said softly.  There wasn't a lot I could do to fix the situation.  Sometimes you have to fold your hand and try another.  

I heard back from him recently.  As the cards foretold,  the court case did not go his way.  Now he has to decide whether to fight on.   I know that an injustice has happened, but if you spend the rest of your life fighting it,  it consumes you and your future.  It's already eaten some of your past. I had to ask him, how much more is he prepared to give to this fight?  How much will he gain? What would happen if he just walked away.  He told me he wanted better cards, and I sighed and agreed. But these were the cards he drew,  and now we just have to deal with the reality that he faces.

Good advice from the internet

So many people come to me to talk about new love,  but just as many come to me to talk about established relationships that are going through a lull or bad patch. They want the cards to reassure them or to give them clarity.  And often the cards do, they have a deep perception about situations.

But people also come for some common sense.  And I have that too.  But I also collect what others say,  to add to my list of useful information.  

This came from a comments section in the New York Times from CarnW,  based in Switzerland:-

35+ years married. We learned a few things to keep us on an even keel...

1) decide if you want kids. Both really want them? Go for it. If either or both of you are undecided or reluctant, think long and hard. Kids are wonderful but also highly stressful. We both realized that we'd rather have dogs. 2) get a professional cleaner. Too many couples fight way too much over household chores, esp when both have full time jobs. A bi-weekly maid service can be better than counseling :-) 3) marriage is not a competition. Think "we" first, then "I". It's not always easy. Sometimes you do have to give way and your partner should do the same for you (but avoid score-keeping). 4) I don't recommend seeking this out but .... have a life-threatening event that shows you how stupid it is to sweat the small stuff. My husband was assaulted, sustaining a fractured skull & TBI: 4 months in hospital & neuro rehab. We hit the reset button big time, learning to dial back on minor things that can get easily blown out of proportion (the neuro rehab center provided counseling to both of us; it was very valuable). 5) pre-marital advice: be very careful about getting into a deep relationship with someone who has addictions: drugs, alcohol, porn, gambling, whatever. Sadly, that's a relationship minefield.

All this is deeply practical and good advice.  I often tell people,  that if they can afford it, I recommend a cleaner.  That stops all sorts of arguments before they happen.  But the line about kids is the most important.  Most things are not irrevocable - you can move to different cities,  buy and sell houses,  change citizenship,  get married,  get divorced.  But you can't change the parent of your child. That's a life long commitment. Think very carefully before you have a child with someone, because that is an irrevocable decision. 

 

I've got to stop buying tarot decks!

I try not to be a hoarder  but some decks are so charming and I just want to warm them in my hands!

I just bought the Modern Witch Tarot Deck and they are charming but smaller than I expected.  Traditionally tarot decks are quite a bit larger than regular playing cards,  which makes them harder to shuffle, but easier to see all the fine details during the reading. The Modern Witch cards the size of a regular playing deck which made them feel too small in my hands,  but were still so interesting to look at.  Lots of decks have very white, male dominated images,  but this deck is much more diverse and with all female characters,  but still clearly based on the Rider Waite images. 

And now I'm coming across the Light Seers Tarot deck.  I recently put up it's Empress card as a beautiful rendition of that concept. Then,  when I was looking for alternate versions of the star card,  every single random card I loved came from this deck.  I'm hoping that putting it out here in the universe and showing others it's beauty means I've shared them enough!  Then again,  the odds are high that they will fall into my hands soon... 

Edited to add - of course I've bought them!  I just love Tarot art! 

My current favorite card

It's so weird,  I read for people all over the world,  and now, that I read virtually - people are using their own decks.* Yet right now,  the same card is appearing again and again.  

When this happened previously, when I was doing my readings in real life,  I used to worry I wasn't shuffling them well enough.  Occasionally I would switch out decks to make sure that the cards were being mixed properly. But now everyone is using their own deck and still the Star card is appearing more often than statistically likely.

And I love the star,  it has so many beautiful versions:-

this version by Christopher Butler

this version from the tarot deck of Luminaries

and this wonderful version from Pop Tarot

But it also has a warning.  You can get what you wish for - so be careful what you wish for!  

From the Crow Tarot

* The way I read,  the magic is in the shuffling,  so I can read on line,  but you have to shuffle the cards.  You can buy a new deck,  borrow one,  use an old one you had lurking in a drawer.  All I ask is that you make sure that it's a full deck,  with 78 cards.  Some of the more fanciful decks don't include all the cards and I don't use them for readings.  If you are buying a deck,  I recommend the Rider Waite Radiant -  same as the standard Rider Waite deck but with brighter colors!   Then during the reading I show you how to lay them out in the Celtic Cross and off we go...