Some people are people pleasers and say yes too often. Some people shut the door before they have considered all their options and say no too often. To tell them to switch roles can be really hard and challenging. So I tell people to answer maybe. I'll look into that. I'll check my calendar. All small answers to give you a breathing space to see if you want to say yes or no, or maybe not yet, but soon...
I read somewhere that some professor instead of grading pass and fail, graded completions and Not Yet. Not yet is such a better result than fail. It means, you need to try again, but it could easily work next time. It means you're not quite ready, but you could be...
I really liked that idea (I have no idea where I read it, I read so much on line!) So if you want to do something but find yourself unable to get there right now, don't tell yourself you've failed. Say, not yet, but maybe... maybe soon I can do it....
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