Reframing judging yourself

People observe things and then blame themselves - or others.  But I like this reframing I saw online from Jacquelyn Tenaglia, who describes herself as a no bs therapist. 

❌ “You choose toxic people.”✅ Toxic people are everywhere. Letting them stick around is the issue.❌ “You stayed for too long.” ✅ Leaving is hard when toxic dynamics erode self-worth over time.❌ “You should’ve known better.” ✅ Hindsight can be 20/20.❌ “You ignored red flags.” ✅ Sometimes people don’t show their cards right away. Sometimes we choose familiar people over healthy ones. Or hope can obscure judgment. Learning to trust your instincts strengthens your ability to walk away sooner.

I say a lot of similar stuff to people at readings.  Especially about familiar people over healthy ones.  He feels really familiar,  can mean,  he feels like from my family,  which wasn't a good space for me... takes time to tease that one out!   Also hindsight is a bitch,  foresight is much harder to come to,  which is why tarot readings help... 

Old and New Love

A while ago one of my regulars came to see me. This was her third reading with me and each time someone comes,  I can connect the dots better.

Last time she came,  interested in someone relatively new in her life,  but the cards didn't like him. She drew the Page of Swords/  Page of Cups/ 7 wands reversed around him.  

This time she came and said because of the cards,  she wasn't angry with him,  or with herself when they broke up.  She could see that they wanted different things.  Neither of them was a bad person,  but he wasn't grounded or ambitious enough for her,  she doesn't want page energy (let alone 2!),  she's 32 and ready for a King.

This time when she asked about love in the future she drew  Strength / 9 cups R / Lovers   Much better, more adult cards.  But also a warning - sometimes the 9 of cups (I call it the fat and happy card) is about contentment,  being happy with what we've got.  But when it's reversed,  it can mean don't settle, it's okay to have standards and boundaries.  Her cards were searching for a proper,  equal Lover this time,  no more pages,  she's worked on her strength and ready for the real thing now. 

Questions

A while ago I did a reading for one of my repeat clients - a woman in her 40's with great energy, a bright smile,  but work situations had not been easy for her.  She kept drawing the Page of Cups R,  she feels out of sync,  they don't 'get' her,  she offers her quirky,  out of the box sensibility and they just look puzzled. 

So one day she comes and asks,

Should I wait till I finish my MBA before changing jobs?

And she drew 

Fool R / Strength / King wands R

The fool never means you are being foolish. Rather it is the start of a new journey,  the very first card of the tarot,  where you walk out with a song in your heart and you don't know where you are going.  But her fool is Reversed.  She is not progressing,  and she is not journeying.  Instead, she feels stuck.  

She is strong and capable,  there is no doubt about that,  but her King of Wands,  fiery, passionate,  outgoing, is also reversed,  her bright energy dimmed,  her anger growing. So I said,  no,  stop waiting.  Waiting is blocking you and slowing you down.  Rather,  turn your Fool the right way around,  and move forward,  then your king will also turn and you'll have the kingship you deserve.  

She liked that very much,  she knew her job was pulling her down,  but was scared to move with so much on her plate,  but the job was not easy and her plate was already too full,  a new job could actually energize her more.  She did change jobs and it did work out better for her. 

That's why I like repeat clients.  I get to see how the tarot was used and if the predictions worked! 

A new way to see the Page of Cups

Every so often I am wandering about the internet and I come across an image that just speaks to me,  and lets me see a card in a new way.

Traditionally,  the page looks into his cup and sees a fish - something unexpected,  something more creative,  someone who is out of the box.  The Page of Cups doesn't always fit in with everyone else's expectations,  but that's okay,  because he can dream up his own.

And I looked at this, and saw the mermaid talking to the bird and thought what a beautiful,  feminine version of the page of cups.  I don't know who drew this or if they knew anything of the tarot at all (that's what happens when you go fishing in the internet, all provenance is lost... ) but it just reminded me so sweetly of this card,  that I thought I would share it with you,  and if any one draws the Page of Cups in an important position,  they can see this and it might help them better feel the energy of the card.

Page of Cups

The young man looks into a cup and sees… a fish!

If this card refers to a person - he’s creative, looks outside the box, and has a great imagination. He’s the sort of kid you send out to sell a cow and comes back with 3 magic beans, kind and sweet, but not always thinking things through. He can have his head in the clouds and you might have to yank him to get his feet back on the ground. He is idealistic and sweet, and distractible, but things usually work out just fine for him.

If this card refers to a situation, if it’s a new job, things won’t always be as clear cut as you would like it, but there is a chance for creative expression, for trying new things.

The shadow side of the card is it’s sensitivity - It can also refer to a situation where people are emotional and getting their feelings hurt all the time, where you feel you have to walk on eggshells.

I love the inner child version – so many people feel themselves as goldilocks, on the outside, looking in. In this card the page is searching for his/her place in the universe.