April Fools

I actually hate pranks,  there's always an underlying cruelty to them.  I hate surprise parties - all day long you're sad that no one has remembered your birthday,  and then surprise,  everyone is there,  so you have to take all those disappointed feelings and throw them away and be cheerful and grateful.  I also hate performative gratitude.  I don't want to be forced to be grateful or thankful or humble.

Which goes to say,  no April Fools here today,  and no surprise parties either. But I do like giving and getting gifts for no reason, other than I saw it and thought of you...  Now those I like a lot! 

April Fools

I often think about jokes and pranks and the subtle (or blatant) cruelty that can underlie them.  And because we say "it's a joke" it's hard for someone to say,  "I didn't find it funny,  I'm hurt." 

I feel that way about surprise parties too.  All day long it's your birthday and no one says anything to you and you start to feel bereft and neglected and then "Surprise" everyone is in the room.  But the feelings of sadness and neglect,  once raised,  are hard to pack away,  and then you have to juggle both joy at the party and that weird feeling you had all day. 

I'm really of the opinion that if the butt of the jokes isn't genuinely laughing,  then it's not a funny joke. Or that one person or group of people can say something,  but if a different person or group of people say the same thing,  it can be funny the first time, with trust and affection,  and not at all funny the second time,  where it can feel like ridicule and disrespect. 

Even sit coms, where we laughed in the 90's, can feel dated and awkward today. I also think we've gotten a lot better about this over the years,  and the casual brutal bullying of years gone by are not so acceptable now.