I often think about jokes and pranks and the subtle (or blatant) cruelty that can underlie them. And because we say "it's a joke" it's hard for someone to say, "I didn't find it funny, I'm hurt."
I feel that way about surprise parties too. All day long it's your birthday and no one says anything to you and you start to feel bereft and neglected and then "Surprise" everyone is in the room. But the feelings of sadness and neglect, once raised, are hard to pack away, and then you have to juggle both joy at the party and that weird feeling you had all day.
I'm really of the opinion that if the butt of the jokes isn't genuinely laughing, then it's not a funny joke. Or that one person or group of people can say something, but if a different person or group of people say the same thing, it can be funny the first time, with trust and affection, and not at all funny the second time, where it can feel like ridicule and disrespect.
Even sit coms, where we laughed in the 90's, can feel dated and awkward today. I also think we've gotten a lot better about this over the years, and the casual brutal bullying of years gone by are not so acceptable now.
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