Thursday, October 9, 2025

Before taking on commitments ask these 3 questions


When someone asks you to do something for them,  ask yourself these three questions:

Can I do it?

Am I willing to do it?

Will I feel resentment if I do it?

I think these questions are so important.  There are things I can't do,  things I can do but am not willing to do,  things that just make me feel resentful. If I feel resentful or not willing,  is the outcome worth it?  


Recently I did a complicated government form application,  which relied on me having done several other simpler government form things earlier in the year.  I had to do it, there was no one else who could do it for me.  So I broke it into the smallest possible tasks and started with them.  As things grew more complex,  at least I had all the simple stuff done and accurate.  It took me over 6 months,  and then it was done.  I did feel exhausted and resentful during the process,  but then afterwards,  I felt overwhelmingly grateful that it was done,  done well,  done successfully.  

Sometimes people ask for help and I have to say,  I'm so sorry,  I just don't have the bandwidth for that now.  Sometimes people ask for help,  and I say,  sure,  let's do it now.  But I do ask myself these three questions.  And if I will feel resentment,  I ask myself what other options do I have?  Can I deal with this feeling? Is the end result worth it?  If it's not,  then don't do it!


All images from the wonderful This Might Hurt Tarot Deck by Isabella Rothman

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