Why are Men struggling?

I read both the New York Times and the Washington Post most days and I'm astonished at how many articles I see about men,  and their struggles.  A  recent one,  by Shadi Hamid,  talked about how difficult it is to find a partner when religion actually matters to you and you want to raise your kids as Muslims,  which I found interesting. 

But in these articles,  and in threads,  it all seems that men have suddenly become overwhelmed.  Too many choices and yet they feel they are not chosen often enough; unwillingness to commit with an unwillingness to narrow their lives to this one choice.  It's like they can only draw  the seven of cups,  too many options leading to paralysis.  

What I tell everyone is that you can one cup, or I'll be super generous and give you two,  but you cannot have all the cups - and it's not personal,  it's not only you -  no one can have all the cups.  And to chose one means that others start to become less available. And we,  as a culture,  have to be okay with that.  I tell people you cannot be both a professional athlete and a brain surgeon.  The time constraints don't work.  So you have to chose one or the other. And yes,  you may always feel a twinge when you come into contact with the one you didn't chose,  but you can't have both.  

I think men,  who had the illusion of power for so long,  and now feel it ripped away by a myriad of cultural shifts,  can't chose.  And so they are struggling.

I guess I'm telling them to chose one,  commit to one,  cherish one and see what happens.  At least it's not paralysis,  at the very least it's a learning experience, and at the most,  it's a life changing/progressing one. 

Seven of Wands

People have readings from me and they are scattered all over the world (ok,  mainly in the US East and West Coasts,  but also in London and Canada and occasionally South Africa)  And they are all shuffling their own decks and laying out their own cards.

And even with all these different decks and cards,  still themes emerge.  Lately lots of my readings have the 7 of wands in important places. 

The Seven of Wands is a card of self defence - it's not a violent card,  we usually don't see who we are fighting against,  and unlike the swords,  there's no undertone of malice.  But we are standing up for our own point of view.

And maybe in these tumultuous times,  the cards are saying,  wait, stop,  think for yourself.  Don't automatically fight everyone,  but also,  don't just go with the flow.  Think for yourself -  is this right for you?  is this the right time for you?  do you really want this?   

These are super important questions and only you can answer them.  Sometimes we are offered something and it's only with the offer that we see whether we really want it or not.  Perhaps we wanted it earlier but now we don't.  Perhaps it would work for us in a few years but now it doesn't.  Or perhaps we really do want it but important people in our lives are casting doubt.  The seven of cards encourages you to think things out for yourself and defend your own point of view.

Lots of 7’s

In case you’ve just dropped into the blog, earlier I went through each individual card (you can look them up by typing the card name in the top left hand corner next to the B - or just starting at the very beginning of the blog and wandering through) Now that I’ve gone through the suits, I am going through the numbers. What does it mean if you draw lots of sevens in your reading?


Seven links with the Chariot in the Major Arcana, a card of will power and drive.


Seven is a powerful number in our lives, forever linked with the seven days of the week and the famous phrase ‘on the seventh day God rested’ – meaning seven is a natural number of stopping and thinking, work and evaluation, introspection and contemplation.


In tarot, the 7 of pentacles is literally thinking about the fruits of your labor, the 7 of cups is having too much choice, not knowing what to think, the 7 of swords is betrayal, someone stealing your capacity to think, and the 7 of wands is the struggle to find your voice, to defend your thoughts to the world. If you draw many 7’s in a reading, the cards are telling you to stop, watch your choices, think very clearly about the matters at hand.



I can't always credit the images, I don't always know where they came from but when I do know, I always try to acknowledge the artist.
The image of the Chariot is by Joe Bandel
The beautiful cloud photo was taken by Angela Craggs
And the lovely last image is by Michael Devine
I don't know where the first image came from, if you do, please let me know...

Seven of Wands

Here we see a man, standing at the top of a hill, armed against unseen adversaries. We can’t see what is coming at him now, but we know there is a battle ahead. When you get this card, your will is being tested, your path is being challenged. This card encourages you to take a stand, to find the higher moral ground and cleave to it. It signifies a situation that will demand persistence and passion. You have to fight for what you want. And often, the challenge or the fight helps clarify matters for you – how important is this issue for you? Did you really want it? How hard are you willing to fight for it? Will you stand up for your principles? These answers are as important as the outcome.



I like the image with the hand, saying stop, controlling the situation, staking a claim.


The inner child card looks sadder and more alone to me. Here the battle goes inward:- who am I and what do I stand for? These are difficult questions and sometimes you have to go by yourself and sit amongst the flowers to be able to hear your own answers.