Texting and all that jazz

I just did a reading for a woman,  26 years old,  in a newish relationship that took a nose dive over the weekend when he didn't answer her texts on the day.  They were not urgent texts,  and he did reply, but not on the day.  She wants to break up with him,  he thinks she's being unreasonable.  I said she can break up whenever she wants,  but what's going on here?  

Turns out her last boyfriend also had issues with her and texting.  So I asked,  how often do you text?  It turns out,  5, 6 or 10 times a day.  And she wants a response within the hour.   I looked at her.  Do you respond to them within the hour?  She responds usually within 15 minutes to anyone,  5 minutes to a close friend,  instantly to a boyfriend.  Whoo boy,  I thought.

Okay,  so you have very different methods of communication.  The boyfriend told her that phones are for his convenience,  they are not there to be an electronic leash and when she demands instant responses it takes away from where he is at that moment.  She can't understand that.  She feels abandoned,  he feels nagged.  

A tarot reading is an hour without phone calls or texts.  I had told her to put her phone on airplane mode for the reading, so she could use it to record the reading,  which she did but reluctantly.  

I said that if this was a problem with only one man,  she could just look for another man.  But this is going to be a problem with quite a few men.  And the cards like this boyfriend,  she drew the King of Pentacles around him - he is mature,  steadfast and reliable.  He also wants to work things out,  but not text back immediately.   So they have to see if they can tolerate each others needs and anxieties.  But the boys who love bomb her and text her several times a day,  and respond straight away,  they also end up disappointing.  

It's hard when our own needs get in our way.  That serotonin hit of hearing the chime,  reading the text, knowing they are thinking of you.  But it can become addictive,  drawing you away from the people you are with,  to be with the hit from the ether.  

She hadn't talked previously to someone who was listening closely but not involved.  That's the gift of tarot.  I have no agenda,  I just tell her want the cards tell me. She knows the phone issue is complicated but she liked the cards she drew around him. They are going to try to talk it out... 

JoHari Window

I've been clearing out my study, and one of the things I came across was the a file about the Johari Window,  which is a tool I still refer to occasionally.  So I decided to go through it here.

Basically it was a way of describing personal information.  There are things about you that you know,  and that you are happy for others to know (open.) 

There are things you know that you wish to hide (hidden.)  

But there also things about you,  that others know,  that you may not (Blind.) 

 And finally there are things about you that you don't know, and neither do others (Unknown) 

What I love about tarot is that it immediately sees both the hidden and the blind panels,  but also,  with a bit of exploration,  you can start to see the unknown panel - what is there about me that is hard for both me and others to see but still drives me. 

Barbara V Evers has created a very cute window describing Harry Potter,  so you can see how the window works -

The healthier we are,  the larger the open window is.  The healthier we are,  the smaller the unknown areas and blind spots are.  Those are where we can trip over ourselves and wonder what happened... 

I really do believe that a deep tarot session can push through and let you see things clearly,  that have not been clear before.  Partly is it because I trust the cards so much,  that if they seem off kilter,  we have to pause and see what they are trying to tell you,  and from there,  the knowledge that was trying to seep out,  gets seen.  Tarot really is a very powerful tool. 

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day on Sunday, and a young man at the mall gave me a single rose to celebrate it. 

Part of me is cynical when it comes to commercialized holidays, thinking it a business sponsored deal to sell us cards and gifts.  But part of me also values the sentiment of acknowledging our often unappreciated mothers, who do so much of the heavy lifting in many families. 

I'm lucky with my mother and my mother in law,  both loving and present women.  I'm grateful to have a good relationship with both of them.  However I do lots of readings for women who don't have such great relationships with their mother figures and these days can be doubly difficult for them.

If you are one of the lucky ones - go ahead and celebrate, put up those pictures on the socials,  make some noise for the excellent women in your life.   If you are not, be kind to yourself,  do what works for you,  and don't let yourself be steamrollered into situations where you feel worse. 

Finding the Connections

As someone who  plays the New York Times words games daily,  I was delighted with yesterday's Connections game.  I immediately got the purple level -  the connection between Lover,  Magician,  Fool and Tower leaping to my eye.   

Tarot cards!   

Funny how easy it  is to see connections when you have some knowledge of the area... (the sports ones always trip me up! )

Weather dependent

A change in the weather always affects me more than I think it should.  New York is warming into Spring,  while Sydney is cooling into winter.  Sydney winters are very mild compared to New York - we rarely get cooler than a brisk cold fall day.  I have all these winter jackets languishing in my wardrobe,  far too hot for the winters here.  

But it's been raining non stop for most of the week and I'm sniffling (though it's not Covid! I've checked.)  But we don't have to worry about that with zoom readings.  Also,  you don't have to get out in the rain to see me,  but can stay in your own cozy space. 

But I hoping the rain lifts soon.  Me and the dog are missing our longer walks...  And I do find bad weather dampens my spirits.  We finally brought up our heaters from our storage cage and at least the place is toasty warm!

So how are you doing?