New Year Wishes

Evaluating the past year was easier pre Covid.  Now surviving seems accomplishment enough!  I'm speaking to a lot of people who have some anxiety getting back to the world as it was before.  Others are just pushing forward, having run out of energy for Covid precautions. 

Frankly,  I'm glad 2022 is nearly over and looking forward to a fresh start with 2023.  My blessings for everyone is safety and warmth.  May you get what you wish for in the new year.  

You can't always get what you want

Sometimes we want simple solutions to complicated problems.  What I love about the cards is that they can show black and white but also nuance and complexity.  Often we want to draw the Ace of Swords - to cut through the confusion and get to clarity.  But sometimes we don't want clarity, we want the outcome that we most desire,  as opposed to the solution that is evident.  

I was doing a reading for a complicated divorce situation,  and he really wanted his soon to be ex wife to accept the solution he was offering. But the cards kept showing resistance and conflict.  It was not until I asked him to describe the outcome from his wife's point of view that he began to see what the cards were telling him.   He didn't get to the outcome he wanted,  but he did get to clarity,  and from there he could move forward.   Sometimes we can't get what we want,  but if we are lucky,  we get what we need.*  

*with apologies to the Rolling Stones :)

What do you do for a living?

When I was living in Tribeca,  I was a member of Community Board 1,  a form of local government. When I interviewed for the position,  I remember being asked what my agenda was.  And I naively replied,  I just want to serve the neighborhood,  I don't have an agenda.  So I got the position.   It was far more political than I expected, but we were able to speak for public school assistance,  for restaurant licenses (and neighborly consideration) and about new residential development (always political!)  

One of the more established members (I was going to say older,  and he was older than me,  but it was more that he had been around the traps a lot longer than I had) once complimented me on my handling of these diverse and often competing claims and then he asked me what I did for a living.  I told him I read tarot cards.

"But you appear so intelligent!" he exclaimed.  

"I'm intelligent when I read the cards,  as well."  I smiled. 

The other day a new acquaintance asked me what I do and I told her,  and she said do you like it?  I said that I get to talk for an hour about things that matter to people,  and explore how to help them get the outcomes that they want - and that I liked it very much.   

I really do enjoy meaningful conversations and a sense that I can help give clarity.  

So if you want a meaningful conversation and more clarity around your life,  drop me a line - liat@albanyconsult.com or text me +61 477043555 and we can set up a time.

Looking forward to it! 

Questions

A while ago I did a reading for one of my repeat clients - a woman in her 40's with great energy, a bright smile,  but work situations had not been easy for her.  She kept drawing the Page of Cups R,  she feels out of sync,  they don't 'get' her,  she offers her quirky,  out of the box sensibility and they just look puzzled. 

So one day she comes and asks,

Should I wait till I finish my MBA before changing jobs?

And she drew 

Fool R / Strength / King wands R

The fool never means you are being foolish. Rather it is the start of a new journey,  the very first card of the tarot,  where you walk out with a song in your heart and you don't know where you are going.  But her fool is Reversed.  She is not progressing,  and she is not journeying.  Instead, she feels stuck.  

She is strong and capable,  there is no doubt about that,  but her King of Wands,  fiery, passionate,  outgoing, is also reversed,  her bright energy dimmed,  her anger growing. So I said,  no,  stop waiting.  Waiting is blocking you and slowing you down.  Rather,  turn your Fool the right way around,  and move forward,  then your king will also turn and you'll have the kingship you deserve.  

She liked that very much,  she knew her job was pulling her down,  but was scared to move with so much on her plate,  but the job was not easy and her plate was already too full,  a new job could actually energize her more.  She did change jobs and it did work out better for her. 

That's why I like repeat clients.  I get to see how the tarot was used and if the predictions worked! 

New Clients

 

Lately I've had a flurry of new client requests. New clients are always welcome! 

All my readings are virtual now, so you can do them in the comfort and privacy of your own home.  But for me, the magic of the tarot lies in the cards being shuffled by you,  getting your energy into them,  seeing where they land.  So I need you to access your own deck.  You can have one,  borrow one or buy a new one.  If you are buying,  there are so, so many out there,  but please be sure to buy one with 78 cards (some of the prettier ones don't have a full deck,  and that really doesn't work for me.)

So you've bought a new deck - I recommend Rider-Waite Radiant but any 78 card deck will do.  You shuffle them - any which way you like - for a few days before hand,  getting your energy into them.

Then we meet via facetime, skype,  whatsap, zoom at the appointed time.  I talk you through laying out the Celtic Cross Spread - it will look like this:

And then I do the 'cold reading'.  Without knowing much about you or your situation,  I tell you what the cards tell me.  I talk to you for about 7 - 10 minutes   After that,  I ask you what resonated,  what didn't,  and we go through the cards in more detail.  Finally I can answer some direct questions - usually 3.  You are welcome to record these readings.  

Tarot can't predict too far ahead - there are too many variables, energies can change.  But the cards can give a pretty good indication about the next 3 to 6 months,  and show you where your energy is strong,  and where it needs more support. 

The readings take about an hour and cost $120.  If you are buying a new deck for our reading,  I'll pay for it,  and the reading will cost $100.   If you are a new client - or an old one! - grab and deck and text or email me,  and let's see what we shall see... 

Looking forward to reading for you,

warmly,

Liat

Work Energy, Love Energy

Sometimes people come to me for a reading,  and their work cards are all great - bright and glowing,  with energy and movement.  But their love cards are stagnant, with no flow there at all. So I say,  work is easy right now, put your energy there and you will get quick rewards.  Maybe you should ease off looking for love and focus on your work.  

One of my clients said to me,  you've been saying that for three years.  Really?  I checked my notes and she was right,  her work cards are always Aces,  connecting, networking,  getting promoted,  all of that comes effortlessly to her. But love doesn't.  So I said to her,  what are you doing at work,  that you aren't doing in relationships?  And without hesitating she said,  "I know my value at work."  But with people,  with men,  she was not as confident. 

So we spent the session talking about transferring some of that confident self knowledge from work,  and putting it more into play with dating.  She can instantly recognize if a project has potential, needs nursing,  needs to be scrapped. Can she do that analysis on every 3rd date?  Maybe she is rejecting too soon,  or nursing the connection along too much,  or not scrapping it when it is clearly going nowhere. But if she gives herself this task,  go on three plus dates with anyone,  then do an analysis, and see if that gets her more of what she wants. She thought that was an interesting idea.  We'll have to wait and see if the cards get warmer once she starts doing this.

He loved her so much, and then he just left....

A women in her 50's came to me.  She had divorced about five years ago and then last year an old boyfriend from high school reached out to her,  via facebook.  It was absolutely magical for about 4 months,  but then he said it couldn't go forward and more or less ghosted her.  She was devastated and came to me to get some clarity.   

We talked about love bombing,  and the seduction but also the unreality of it.  We talked about how he had set up standards that were so high,  he could never continue meet them,  and so then ran away.  And no one person can be everything,  it's too big an ask.  We need to diversify and get our needs met from a variety of people,  not just The One.  

I gave her one of my favorite Ester Perel talks, it's about the first 20 minutes of the video. 

She loved it so much,  she asked me to share it more broadly,  so I told her I would share it on my blog.  If you can't get to see me,  you can still  hear this...  (also,  there are loads more Ester Perel talks about there,  so you can find plenty more.)  And if you want to talk one on one about your situation,  send me an email and we'll set up a reading. 

Typical Questions

The way I do a reading,  I start with a cold reading,  where I don't know you or your story,  or if you are a client I've read for previously,  I don't know what's going on in your life just now.  I do the Celtic Cross layout and tell you what I see. 

But after that discussion,  you have the chance to ask questions.

A while ago a client asked about a man she had been seeing for about a year - is it real? Does he really want a relationship.

She drew 5 cups / 4 cups / 7 swords.

We both looked at the images sadly.  No, it's not real. She feels sad,  she's dreaming, making it bigger than it is,  he is stealing her swords and she will feel betrayed.  

And she said she actually felt relieved.  She had been putting effort in,  and now she feels that her intuition that he hasn't been reciprocating is validated.  She can now develop a plan of action,  have some serious discussions,  and then,  if he doesn't want to move forward,  she can walk away.  But she doesn't want her swords stolen,  and she doesn't want to be the one doing all the heavy lifting.

It's rare that the cards tell you something you don't know at all.  Instead,  they help clarify and consolidate your situation by making explicit what you suspected. 

An interview with a tarot reader...

One of my clients interviewed me for an article she was writing about tarot and therapy.  And here it is! 

I was very pleased to be included in such clever company... 

And in case you only want to read the bit about me (but the other stuff is super interesting too!) or can't open the link,  here is her part about our discussions:-

Liat Silberman, MA, was first introduced to the tarot as a teenager. She was visiting her grandmother, a rummy player. “I shuffled like a card shark,” Silberman recalls. One of her grandmother’s friends told her, “‘You have an affinity for the cards; you should learn tarot.’ And what teenage girl doesn’t want magic powers?” Silberman laughs.

So Silberman bought a copy of Rachel Pollack’s 1980 classic 78 Degrees of Wisdom: A Tarot Journey to Self-Awareness (Weiser Books), and a deck of tarot cards. She studied independently for years, learning that “the interplay between the cards is as important as the cards themselves. You look at what’s present and what’s absent, and how the cards talk to each other.”

Meanwhile, Silberman became a psychotherapist. She worked in both England and her native Australia before moving to the U.S. with her family in 2002; they returned to Sydney in 2016. She has read tarot cards professionally on a full-time basis since 2003. (Full disclosure: Silberman is my tarot card reader.)

Unlike Goldberg and Dr. Rosengarten, Silberman never incorporated tarot cards into her psychotherapy practice, possibly because her readings are often predictive. That said, “I have done therapy sessions where I’ve thought, ‘I really wish I could pull out the cards!’” she admits. “I’ve always said, and I really feel, that a good tarot session can cut through six months of therapy.”

Silberman doesn’t think her abilities are particularly unusual. She likens her aptitude to musical talent, noting that while some people are gifted musicians and others have tin ears, “most people can carry a tune.” Similarly, “I think most people have some kind of psychic ability. I think I’m intuitive, and I use the cards to amplify that.” More importantly, she believes these abilities can be developed: “You can practice your intuition.”

“I think people are searching for stuff in their lives, generally speaking,” Silberman notes. “Some people find it in church or by being busy, and some people find it in a quiet hour… I 100 percent believe ‘one river, many wells.’ I don’t believe that one well is better, I think one well is more accessible to one person than another. That’s how I feel about psychic things—whatever enriches and nourishes you is a good thing.”

All about love

There are a few motifs that emerge when you do a lot of tarot readings.  And finding love is definitely one of them. 

I read this article - The Dating Market is Getting Worse - in the Atlantic a while ago (2020)  and reread it again recently and found it fascinating. 

I have two longish anecdotes about dating.  

In olden days - when women started writing about finding an affectionate partner,  as well as a 'suitable one' - I'm looking at you Jane Austen -  you would go to a Ball, or have a season in town,  and be introduced to who ever was available at that time.  (Of course this is only for the gentry.  The working class just had who ever was in the village or passing through,  but at lets stick with the upper class for a moment.)  

Whoever you met at the ball,  on some level,  had already been vetted.  They were matched, more or less, on education,  class,  social standing,  life goals, religion etc.  So if there was sexual attraction,  that was a green light for marriage.  

However,  nowadays,  when you meet at a pub/club,  or even more so, on line,  nothing much has been vetted.  You don't know their past,  their education level,  their social standing or anything else.  So if you are sexually attracted,  that is one of the connectors,  but not the only one and maybe not even the strongest one.  So Sexual Attraction - is essential but by no means the only factor to assess.  Which is why so many relationships/dates based on sexual attraction falter.  The sex works,  but the value system,  the life goals,  the conversations - they aren't working so well.  It takes time (all our twenties?) to figure out that attraction is not enough,  we need more.  

And that leads me to anecdote number two.  In NYC in particular,  but really,  anywhere with an internet, which is everywhere,  there is a sense of choice, that there are plenty of fish in the sea.  Don't like this fish,  throw it back in and cast your net again.  Again,  in your college years or early twenties,  that's not too difficult.  There really are lots of people in your cohort in the same situation.  

But as supermarket studies show,  too much choice can be overwhelming.  The Great Jam Sample experiment showed that when offered 24 samples,  people were more likely to try,  but less likely to commit. And also,  oddly, less happy with their choice if they did actually buy one.  If only 6 samples were displayed,  there was less buzz around the table,  but those who did try,  were much more likely to both buy and be happy with their purchase.   I extrapolate this to dating and many New Yorkers agree with me.  Too much choice can make things harder. 

Also, it is an absolute truth,  that there is always the chance that someone funnier,  richer and perhaps better looking could be in the next room.  So if I chose X,  but then meet Y,  what do I do?  That's why dating is so hard.  There's no history,  no glue holding you together yet,  and the temptation of the better person is the next room can be so strong.  

That's why dating requires a certain level of emotional maturity (age has nothing to do with it.)  An awareness of possibilities but also realities,  of what is too great a compromise,  but also,  what is worth sitting with and starting to build upon.  There is no perfection,  but there are people who will bring out the best in us,  who we will bring out the best in them,  and we can grow stronger and better together.  And that's worth going through the dating process to find! 

Powerful Performance

 We are just starting to see art created and formed by the lockdowns of the previous two years.  As we gradually come out and return to a newish normal,  this show just reminded me,  viscerally,  of how hard the Covid past has been. 

Bo Burnham is a very talented comedic singer and his new show,  Inside, is both sharp and funny but also one of the best depictions of depression and isolation that I've ever seen.  I would not recommend watching it alone,  but I would definitely recommend watching it with people you trust,  so you can discuss with them how it resonated.  

I'm so glad that we are out of lockdown,  Australia had particularly long and onerous ones.  And now that things are opening up,  I often wonder how these past two years have impacted us,  especially children and young adults.  In a way I had it easy - no small children to home school,  no major life events that I had to miss,  no weddings to cancel,  funerals to zoom.  And still,  I found the reality of Covid sitting heavily on me.  If these past two years depressed or unsettled you,  please know you are not alone.  And if you have trouble reaching out again, now that things are easier,  also know that others are having that difficulty too.  

I personally found meditation,  self talk and practices of gratitude really helped me.  And of course,  tarot readings.  Talking to people about the important things in their lives is always rewarding and grounding for me.  

A New Deck

After a reading,  I often send clients into the wilds of the internet to search for a version of a card that was important in the reading.  For example if The World was important in your reading,  I'll tell you to search for one that really speaks to you,  so you can have it as your phone cover image,  or print it out and put it by your computer.  Something to keep that energy close at hand. 

What has changed over the years is that there is now a wealth of images around,  and if you don't like one version of a card,  with a little searching,  you will surely find one that speaks to you more clearly.   This Might Hurt Tarot has tweaked the traditional images of the Rider Waite Tarot deck and made them a little more accessible.   I also have a pintrest group of pages with lots of images that caught my eye. 

There are so many decks out there - exuberant,  minimalist,  darker and sweeter.  Go and explore,  it's part of the joy of the tarot that you can find the images that speak most to you.  Tarot.com has a wide variety of decks and they all have 78 cards (some others have less, and you can't really do a traditional reading from them) so you can start exploring safely there. 

If you are hoping to learn how to read tarot cards,  I recommend starting with the Rider Waiter deck,  as it is a basis for so many other decks.  I've also had lots of people ask me lately what book I first started with.  It was 78 Degrees of Wisdom which I find is still excellent, after all these years!  You can also use this blog, which goes through every card in order.  Just start at the beginning and read on...