Tuesday, September 16, 2014


I worked for 3 years at a dating agency,  so I’m always interested in things like this video by OK cupid.  I went to a talk given by one of the OK Cupid founders once and was fascinated – they have so much data,  so many millions of interactions,  you can see patterns writ large. 

What I find today is that people often get confused by what I call the Pride and Prejudice principle. In the 1800’s, society was structured so that everyone you met was of the same religious, educational and socioeconomic background, and if you felt sexual attraction, that was the green light to go ahead and fall in love.

However today, you meet someone and have great sexual attraction, it’s not a green light at all – you still have to check if your goals and values are the same, if you want to create the same sort of future/relationship together.  Things are far less homogeneous now,  which is a good thing,  we are meeting a far more diverse and interesting group of people,  but it also means that romantic love is harder – just because you feel a strong attraction, you don’t necessarily have the foundation to hold it together once the intense fire of the attraction banks to a glow… 

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