7 of pentacles

I often use the phrase "happy with the fruits of your labor" when people draw the 7 of pentacles,  And then I came across this perfect card!

One thing that has definitely changed since I started reading (pre internet!) is the amount of fabulous decks around.   There are so many variations of cards.  Often, if you draw a card in an important position,  I give you homework, to look up other variants that might speak to you more clearly.  

I have loads in my Pinterest folders,  as well as just searching on line.   As I come across alternatives I like, I often add them here.  Keep looking for yourself,  you will be sure to find one that works for you!

Both fun and deep

One of my favorite clients said to me that she always likes our annual readings - they are both fun and deep,  she said.   Fun,  because we laugh,  a lot,  about life and the situations we finds ourselves in. Deep,  because she can be honest about what is actually going on,  and if she wants to know more,  well then the cards are there to shine a light.   

She's in a steady job and a solid relationship,  but she still likes to check in. "It's an hour to talk about myself,"  she laughed.  An hour to take stock.   Our reading didn't foretell anything remarkable.  More of the same,  steady as she goes, was the theme. But she took that with grace - after all,  that's exactly what she wants... 

Making a decision can make all the difference

Some time ago I did a few readings for a very sweet Chinese man.  He knew he was a little too sensitive and took romantic set backs a little too hard,  and he wanted to work on it.

At his first reading he had sad,  wishy washy cards,  where none of the answers were definitive or even illuminating.  I felt embarrassed! But he came back six months later, and his cards had completely changed,  far more energized and to the point.  

I asked him what had changed and he said that he had decided to return home - to China,  For some people,  being a migrant is too hard and they never really establish deep roots.  He had come to the US with a student visa,  but never really found his footing.

However,  the thought of going back,  gave him confidence and energy - which the cards matched!  In 6 months he moved from pages to kings.  At his very center he drew King of Swords x the 6 of Wands.  We were both very excited and pleased to see that.  He also drew the Ace of Swords,  cutting through the fog and confusion,  getting to certainty.  

I was pleased to see how coming to a decision had clarified and energized his cards so significantly.   Sometimes making a decision can make all the difference! 

Resilience

A lot of people come to me,  because they've had a set back or a loss,  and they find it hard to bounce back.  So I read a lot about resilience,  for them and for myself.  

I read an interesting article in the Washington Post recently that concluded that we need to give children more opportunities for independent,  unsupervised play,  and that is what has been missing these past 30 or so years,  and that contributes to feelings of being overwhelmed or anxious. 

And I agree - independence,  negotiating your place with low stakes outcomes,  living in your own imagination, creative play - all these have been part of the human condition for millennia,  and suddenly,  over one and half generations,  they are if not gone,  they've been minimized. 

But I'm not talking to children,  I'm mainly talking to young adults - people in their 20's and 30's.  How does this help them?

Well,  I guess,  you need to find places where you can be a bit independent,  take some low stakes risks,  allow yourself failure.  Allow yourself to feel bad,  and disorganized and even chaotic,  and then still do the laundry and get to work.  I'm a big believe in functioning - that it leads to more functioning which leads to some better sense of self.  Of course some of us over-function,  but I would give them different advice but the same idea - take some manageable,  low stakes risks and let yourself fail occasionally. 

I say this often - don't let the perfect get in the way of the good.   And now I've added,  don't let the imperfect get in the way of the good either.   Just let yourself see the good around you.  Once you look for it,  you'll see more of it.  And the virtuous circle commences... 

Art by Yvonn Zuback, Saatchi Art

Heavy Heart

I have such a heavy heart.  I was traumatized by the attack on Israel,  it was diabolical and evil.  And now I'm so worried for the poor people in Gaza,  who are caught up between the wrath of Israel and the cruelty of Hamas.  I can feel quite overwhelmed by it all.  Worse,  I feel powerless.  

So I force myself to stop doom scrolling,  and just check in once a day to get facts.  Today I listened to Tibetan singing bowls,  just letting the sounds ring through my body; and tonight we sat and ate ice cream at Maroubra beach,  watching the dusk come in. 

And now,  that self care, just seems worse,  when real horror is continuing to unfold.  But I don't know what else to do.  I hate it when it feels like evil is triumphing - when Russia marched into Ukraine,  when girls can't walk home from parties alone lest they be raped,  when people don't feel safe in their own homes,  with their own families. And the secret is not to look away,  but to look clearly.  And take what steps we can to help.  

Rabbi Tarfon wrote: the day is short, and the work is plentiful, and the laborers are indolent, and the reward is great, and the master of the house (God)  is insistent.  It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither can you avoid it.  (from the Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of our Fathers,  2:16)

I love that sentiment - I don't have to finish the task,  but I can't ignore it either.  I must do what I can to bring light and good into the world.  No more and no less.  I'm not going to bring world peace,  but I can bring some peace to my corner,  and I try very hard to do that.  And small deeds,  done with great love,  well that's all we have,  all we can ask for really.  So I am praying for peace in the middle east,  and working for peace in my neck of the woods and hoping for peace for all who read this.  I hope we find moments of Grace,  and I hope we share them,  and the darkness ebbs... 

 

New Mantra

I was reading somewhere (I flit though so many websites,  I can never recall where I read what)  and the phrase "Love people, use things" caught my eye.

I think we get so out of shape in our Western society,  when we do the opposite - love things and use people.  Using people is terrible,  it belittles them and us.  And when work places and culture treat people as disposable,  as gadgets that can be swapped in and out with no thought or compunction,  that's when we get our societal ills.  And when we add to that,  that so many people love things - clothes, cars,  money,  houses,  more than they love the people in their lives,  that's also when everything can go wrong.

So appreciate the things in your life,  the joy of collecting,  the ease of ownership.  But don't love them.  Love the people and animals you chose to bring into your daily life.  Love people,  use things.  It's a great mantra. 

While I was looking for images for this piece,  I realized that this mantra is a book title - Love People,  Use Things,  by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus.  I haven't read the book,  but I love the title! 

If the first tarot card reader doesn't say what you want to hear...

Sometimes a person will come to me,  and as I give them news they don't want,  they reveal that I am the third (or fourth,  or for one girl,  fifth!) tarot card reader they have seen recently and all of us said the same thing... but they don't want to hear it!

A while ago I had a very sweet Indian girl come to see me.  She was pale with shadows under her eyes.  She said that she had gotten drunk one night and said to her boyfriend that it was all too much,  but by the time she figured out she wanted back in,  he now wanted space.

She asked if they would get back together and drew

World Reversed / 5 swords / page wands Reversed / 6 swords

Even if she wills it and makes a reconciliation happen,  it won't last,  she's riding in the wrong direction,  it will end in swords (tears, pain,  moving on with sorrow, a hard learning experience)

Then she told me I was the fifth tarot card reader she had seen that month.  Fifth!  And all of us said the same thing,  it's not going to happen,  it's not going to work.  But she wants to find the one who tells her it will. This is why I believe in tarot.  Five total strangers,  five separate decks, none of us invested in the outcome and all of us see the same thing. 

So I said to her that she will do as she wants (of course) and she doesn't have to listen to us,  but she needs to listen to herself.  There was something wrong in the relationship which started her drunken ramble,  and she needs to find a way to resolve that. She said he was always distant and punishing (why want him at all?!?  The mysteries of the heart.)  And if she begs him to return,  then he can continue that pattern with impunity.  It's only if she backs away and puts herself first,  can she give him the space to see what he's missing and if he wants to move forward.  She nodded slowly.  He has to have some breathing room to see what you are bringing and you have to have some breathing room to see what he brings to you too.  I said words to that effect four or five times.

And then she agreed,  she would give him some space.  

Five months later she returned telling me he was talking to her and also to another girl,  what should she do. And she looked at me and started to laugh.  Of course I was going to tell her to let him go.  And she knew it was time. She really didn't want to,  the heart wants what the heart wants,  as the song goes.  But you can't will another person to want you back,  you can only torture yourself over it, until you are tired of the torture.  After 5 months,  she was starting to tire of the torture.   

Two years later she came to ask me about another boy altogether.  The cards were much happier with him and we both sighed with relief.  I haven't seen her again.  I can only hope they are still together.