Online shopping

I do a lot of online shopping,  and consider myself quite experienced.  But lately I've been having really bad luck - I buy things and when I receive them,  they don't resemble the photos and are not at all what I wanted - the fit is bad,  the look is flimsy.  Or they are good enough, wearable but not really giving joy.  Some of it is my own parsimoniousness,  I'm choosing things which are too cheap, and then, not surprisingly,  they look really cheap.  (That's a life lesson I should have learnt by now!  But the lure of the bargain is so strong!!)

So now I am going back to an old habit.  I'm putting my new selections in the cart,  and then leaving them for a week or so,  to see if they still shine when I go back to them.  And I'm also revisiting my pinterest page - Things I am not Buying today - and letting them sit there.  I can relax,  knowing I won't forget about them,  and then see if I really need it a month or so later.  (and I've also taught myself how to create pins, which is a more cumbersome process than I think it should be,  but at least I am saving my more expensive choices somewhere!) 

Things I am not buying today

I read something on threads where a woman was saying how she fills her shopping cart and then never buys it.  I know how she feels. What I do is have a pinterest page called Things I am not buying today - and if I see something I like,  I grab that image and save it to that page.  And then a while later I look at it and see if I still need it. So often they go stale as they sit in the folder,  and it's easy to delete them.  Sometimes they don't,  and then I do the math and see if it's time to buy them.  I also have pinterest pages for other things I like to collect,  like teapots, or shoes. 

This works for everything except beads.  I can buy beads every day.  I don't,  but the desire never leaves. I have a  pinterest page of bead designs that excite me,  and I really do love it! 

Another thing is,  when you collect beads,  sooner or later you do have to do something with them and then one day you wake up and realize you have 57 necklaces,  and really, no one needs that many necklaces. Moving to creating bracelets does not help long term.  So I give them as birthday gifts.  Personal,  with the colors you love,  for an outfit I know.  And some people ask me why I don't sell them,  and I say,  you don't have to monetize everything.  Some things you can do just for love/joy.  

So let yourself go wild with a pinterest page of things you are not buying today,  it really does help,  and clients have fed back to me that it did make them feel less deprived and they really didn't need to buy most of it a month or so later.  And let yourself do crafts/ bake/ make - just for the sake of making. Share what you love,  and don't feel guilty if you are not hustling to make it something bigger.  Keeping you creative is big enough! 

7 of pentacles

I often use the phrase "happy with the fruits of your labor" when people draw the 7 of pentacles,  And then I came across this perfect card!

One thing that has definitely changed since I started reading (pre internet!) is the amount of fabulous decks around.   There are so many variations of cards.  Often, if you draw a card in an important position,  I give you homework, to look up other variants that might speak to you more clearly.  

I have loads in my Pinterest folders,  as well as just searching on line.   As I come across alternatives I like, I often add them here.  Keep looking for yourself,  you will be sure to find one that works for you!

Virtual Realities

Next time I see a friend put up amazing photos of their lives on Facebook for a few months in a row,  I’m going to pm (private message) them and ask if everything is ok.  Lately I’ve had 3 acquaintances, whose lives I’ve been mainly following on facebook, meet with me and break down and cry about how difficult their marriage/kids/work life is right now.  The disconnect between what they say to me and what they are presenting on fb is just huge, I really thought things were never better for them (of course if I had been seeing their cards, I would have seen things far more clearly!) 

I remember when I was starting therapy and realized that my social, outward face and the feelings I had inside were worlds apart and how much energy it took to keep the façade going.  Nowadays, I always tell a truth – not the truth, not all of it, not everyone needs to hear that – but if I am feeling awful and miserable and hating my life, I won’t say great, or even fine.  I’ll say a truth: I’m tired, which resonates with my bigger truth.  Sometimes people smile and say me too, and go on to humblebrag about how amazing their lives are with all the wonderful things they are doing which tire them out (a real New York sport) and sometimes people respond with something genuine.  But what matters to me is that I am genuine, to others and more importantly, to myself.   Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram - for some people they’ve become the facades that must be kept in perfect order, to cover what hides beneath.  The older I get, the more I value that which is real, even if it is ugly, because reality has a true beauty that these fake representations can never have.

Lovely Cups

Every so often I come across a new deck/interpretation of a card which helps me deepen my understanding of the cards.  I always encourage people to google or pinterest an important card,  to see if they can find a version that speaks to them,  because each artist has something to contribute,  and sometimes one version just says it the most clearly to you.

I recently came across Phantomwise tarot on pinterest and really enjoyed how they envisioned the cups suite. They had such a cute 2 of cups,  that I just wanted to share it with you - the 2 of cups is a card of equal love,  of both of you putting the same amount/kind of energy into the relationship -  and these rabbits with their sweetness leaning towards each other just made me smile. 

And then their 10 of cups was equally bright and charming -  this is often the happy ever after family card,  and here are all the rabbits, a family together,  drinking tea...