A client at a reading once gave me a really excellent saying which I repeat often (I was well into my 40's when she told it to me, and it really helped frame things for me.)
Friends for a season, Friends for a reason, Friends for Life.
Sometimes we meet someone over the summer, have a really great time with them, and then, winter comes and they fall away. It wasn't that they weren't real during the summer, it was just that were simply friends for a season - camp friends, summer friends, holiday friends...
Sometimes we are doing something and want friends going through exactly the same life event - early motherhood, college classes, work friends. While we are in the reason, they are great friends. But if the reason changes - we graduate, the kids grow, we change jobs, they seem to drift away. Again, they were real friends, present and interested at the time, but without the reason connecting us, we grow apart.
And then there are the far rarer, friends for Life. They will pass with you though the seasons and the reasons. You may have different jobs, different kids, different marriages and even move cities... but you stay connected.
If you allow yourself all three kinds of friendships, life is so much easier. You don't have to demand of every new friend that they be friends for life. Instead, you can start with a season, or a reason, and see if it grows organically. And if it doesn't, you can still enjoy the times you had/have knowing that they are being good people to you, while the season and reason holds. And you can keep the door open, if a new reason or season opens up..
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