Burned haystack dating method

You know the old saying,  it's like finding a needle in a haystack?  Well, Jennie Young played with that saying and created the burned haystack dating method. Basically,  instead of painstakingly searching,  burn that haystack to the ground,  and voila,  a needle appears.

What it means is that she recommends being super selective with your dating apps,  using really strong filters and blocking anyone who doesn't fit your parameters.  Yes,  you may miss some good men,  but you will also miss a whole lot of chaff,  and you will get to your needle much quicker. 

She recommends radical honesty in your dating profiles - say what it is you really want - and stick to it.  If anyone offers things other than that (I really want kids should not match with I'm open to having  kids,  open is not a real match to really want.  Or I really want fidelity is not a match to I'm open to fidelity.) The goal of the profile,  according to her,  is to be a gatekeeper,  and to keep most people out.  

This of course,  depends on you really knowing what you really want.  It also depends on a certain depth of experience with dating.  Because I worry about people setting parameters too tightly.  I've worked in a dating agency and one thing I came to realize is that people really don't know what they want until it walks through the door.  They have a lot of thoughts about what they might want,  but they often surprise themselves.   

So if you really do know what you want,  and really have been on way too many dates and really finding the apps overwhelming,  then I recommend trying this method.  I absolutely agree with her that you should meet as soon as possible,  weeks of texting just soak up time and often go nowhere.   I've had some laughs with tarot clients over the years about it,  and have heard some success around it.

What difference does a number make?

I’m Australian, and so 12.12.12 is already done there – which is why I am ambivalent around dates – what is one date here is already over there and has yet to arrive somewhere else.  All we can ever look at is right here, right now.  But memorable numbers have a function – I can say what did you do last December and unless it was your birthday, it might be hard to pull out any real details. 

But if the world gives you a strong number or strong event, you can remember what you were doing in your own life at that time.  I still remember my sister calling me from Australia to tell me that Princess Diana had died, it had been in the late night my time and I was asleep, but it was in the middle of the day in Australia and everyone watched it unfolding in real time. That otherwise random day is etched in my mind. 

So today is a date that people might well remember – what are you going to do to mark the time?  I’m going to write a letter to myself,   that I can reread in later years, to see where I was at, on 12.12.12.  Of course each day is a day you will only see once – so if we give every day that added gravitas, our time will be well spent.