Amanda Knox

I was vaguely aware of the Amanda Knox story as it unfolded in Italy in 2007,  but I wasn't at all invested in it,  as we can be in some famous cases.  

In fact,  when this trailer appeared,  I had to look up if the consensus was she was innocent or not.

Of course that put me down a steep rabbit hole! And I came to this interview with her,  about her book. 

And in it she said so many things I fundamentally agree with!

Every place is the place of someone's worst tragedy and someone's best moments.

Amanda Knox

It's such an important thing to remember - that on the day of your mother's funeral,  someone else is getting married, that there is a ying and yang to every thing, and that that is a good thing! 

I liked everything she said and will go look for her book Free,  My search for Meaning.  It looks really interesting. 

Quote of the Day

"Never make fun of people for mispronouncing a word. It means they learned it by reading." Anon

As someone who was a first generation English speaker in my family, and learnt so many words by reading, this really speaks to me. And English is such a ridiculous language - so many words are spelt oddly and there are so many exceptions to the rules.

I learnt this quote later in life, but really take it to heart. We should be proud of people who learn by their own efforts and be gracious to them!

Teenage crushes

Did a tarot reading for a woman recently divorced.  She put it up on her facebook page.  All of a sudden,  these boys she went to high school with popped up,  25 years or so later,  to tell her that they had had crushes on her in their teens,  and did she want to go out now.  

She told me that her teenage years had been so isolated and lonely,  and she wished she had known then,  that she could be attractive.  She may have chosen a different man altogether if she knew she had options. (Isn't that a wonderful Austen like 7 of cups card!) 

So now she isn't dating any of them (she moved over a thousand miles away from her High School town over 20 years ago,  and isn't interested in going back.) But she's more open to letting people know how she feels in the here and now.  And she knows she can attract people into her life. 

Aqua aerobic thoughts

I'm sitting on the edge of the pool,  waiting for class to begin,  looking at all the bodies.  Some young,  some old,  some fat,  some pregnant, some very fit.  And every body is beautiful. There is something in each and everyone of them that is precious and lovely. 

When you let yourself see that,  see the physical joy in others,  it's such a kind warm space to be in.   I want to stay in that space.  I want to see myself in that space... 

Being mean makes me feel bad

 

Just a reminder that there are people out there who don't want to be mean,  even in a game with no consequences.  

And seeing how this planet has plenty of consequences,  let's remember that being mean is an awful feeling,  masking feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.  So let's face the underlying feelings and stop being mean to strangers,  do our own hard work. Then both us and the world become much better.

Burned haystack dating method

You know the old saying,  it's like finding a needle in a haystack?  Well, Jennie Young played with that saying and created the burned haystack dating method. Basically,  instead of painstakingly searching,  burn that haystack to the ground,  and voila,  a needle appears.

What it means is that she recommends being super selective with your dating apps,  using really strong filters and blocking anyone who doesn't fit your parameters.  Yes,  you may miss some good men,  but you will also miss a whole lot of chaff,  and you will get to your needle much quicker. 

She recommends radical honesty in your dating profiles - say what it is you really want - and stick to it.  If anyone offers things other than that (I really want kids should not match with I'm open to having  kids,  open is not a real match to really want.  Or I really want fidelity is not a match to I'm open to fidelity.) The goal of the profile,  according to her,  is to be a gatekeeper,  and to keep most people out.  

This of course,  depends on you really knowing what you really want.  It also depends on a certain depth of experience with dating.  Because I worry about people setting parameters too tightly.  I've worked in a dating agency and one thing I came to realize is that people really don't know what they want until it walks through the door.  They have a lot of thoughts about what they might want,  but they often surprise themselves.   

So if you really do know what you want,  and really have been on way too many dates and really finding the apps overwhelming,  then I recommend trying this method.  I absolutely agree with her that you should meet as soon as possible,  weeks of texting just soak up time and often go nowhere.   I've had some laughs with tarot clients over the years about it,  and have heard some success around it.

Pan Narrans

So I was reading (I'm always reading) and came across the concept of Pan Narrans.  It was originated by Terry Pratchett, Jack Cohen, and Ian Stewart when talking about Discworld in The Science of Discworld,  book II.

Basically it says that what makes homo sapiens extraordinary is not tool use,  plenty of animals use tools,  nor problem solving,  lots of animals can solve quite complex problems, or even basic communication.  What sets us apart is our ability to tell stories.  All sorts of stories - personal history,  national history,  fact and fiction. 

We can create what-if scenarios which allow us to get much more intricate in our problem solving.  According to them,  scientific research is basically advanced storytelling,  where we create ideas about the world and then test them to see if we were correct. 

We can describe our tools down the ages,  which allow for more complex tools to be created.  And when we developed writing,  one of our most advanced tools, we could recall more than one human mind could hold,  making our world bigger than our brains. 

Intrinsically we become the stories we tell ourselves.  About us personally,  about our history,  what we chose to remember/record and what we don't. 

So we are the storytelling animal and that is what sets us apart.  Thus they renamed Homo Sapiens,  to Pan Narrans,  the storytelling animal. 

The book Sapiens, by Yuval Harari,  covers much of the same ground.  As does the Science of Storytelling, by Will Storr. 

It's a great perspective and I think they are all right.   In tarot readings we examine the stories we tell ourselves about our lives and challenge them to see if they give us the outcomes we want, and what do to if we want different outcomes.  Stories have amazing power. 

Current favorite poem

I love poetry,  dense like truffle chocolate,  an amuse bouche that lingers for hours afterwards.  I read a lot of it.  Lots of it not great,  some of it very good and some just strike that perfect chord.  

The ones that strike, I put up here.  For you, but also for me,  so I can find them again,  so I can remember them

This latest one is by Jess Janz 

Enjoy! 

Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is such a slippery thing.  It's when you pay more attention,  notice and remember things which hold to your world view,  and find it harder to look at,  analyse or accept things which contradict your world view.  Basically you don't believe what you see,  but rather see what you believe.

In these turbulent times,  especially with algorithm derived news,  its very easy to find a bubble which just confirms what you already suspected.  Don't like X,  all your social media feeds to support that view.   Like X,  well, here is some commentary you will agree with. 

Which is why we have to be doubly sure that we are really listening when someone gives us information.  Don't just remember what felt true,  remember the doubts,  and see what truths they were holding.  But also,  be very careful what you are listening to,  because the world is in a strange liminal place right now,  and truth can feel hard to grasp. 

Amazing cards by Lise Abbadie