The hardest question

Sometimes people come to me for readings to justify their positions - I did X and Y because they did W.  Was I right?   

In interpersonal relationships,  right sadly isn't always the correct answer.  So I answer with a harder question - did it get you what you want?

If you confronted them and then they broke down and wept, was that the result you wanted?  If you ignored the behavior and it continued,  is that what you wanted?  If you wanted genuine change,  did your actions lead to it?

So I ask people before they justify anything,  what is the end result you want,  and is this the best way to get it?  Harder question,  better answers...