Which job to take?

A woman came to me,  she's just turned 32 and hasn't found her career stride yet.  She gets jobs but they aren't growth paths and a few years later she moves on to a new one,  but it's always at the same level and she feels herself stagnating. 

Then a friend of the family offers her a job.  She draws

5 swords Reversed / Ace of Swords Reversed / 10 of wands

She wants this to work,  because it's a real offer but the cards don't like it at all.  There's something unclear about his offer,  a sense of betrayal.  It doesn't cut through the confusion and she ends up more burdened than she was before.

Interestingly this news energizes her.  I knew it! she said.  Her grandmother is pressing her to take the job but her intuition is screaming otherwise. 

She has another job,  but he's new in town,  no one really knows much about his company which is from the midwest, but they are opening a branch in her east coast town. 

She draws

star / knight of swords / 4 of wands

She can get what she wishes for here,  she has to ride out,  take ownership,  and if she is trodden on, she will have to defend herself clearly and cleanly.  But if she does so,  she gets to stability,  she is a place she can stay and grow. 

She's really happy now.  She wanted this job but couldn't face standing up to her family without any real assurances.  But the cards show her that it's a post worth fighting for. 

She takes the second job.  When I see her recently,  nearly five years later,  she's still there, now in a management position.   (She came to ask about having children,  another matter about which the cards can be very accurate...)

Want a cookie energy

Recently a client used a phrase I hadn't heard before and I just thought it was perfect.  She was complaining about her husband and said he just has this 'want a cookie' energy.  She caught my puzzled look and said,  every time he does anything,  just normal adult stuff,  like unload the dishwasher or move clothes into the dryer,  he acts like he should get a cookie/reward for it.  (paraphrasing,  but that's the gist of it)  She's tired of him wanting praise and cookies for just doing basic stuff,  while not giving the same back to her. 

That was a really good observation and one hard that's hard to fight. It's hard when things feel unbalanced.  Her 2 of cups was reversed  and the 5 of swords was hovering.  We had a serious talk and I recommended counselling. These feelings can so easily lead to contempt,  and contempt is the marriage killer. 

But I loved the phrase.  

Observe, don't Absorb

I know, I'm doing  too many catch phrase blogs lately - but catch phrases are so helpful!

I was talking to a woman who was being triggered by her family.  They've been dysfunctional for a long time and keep trying to drag her back into the game.  She is already low contact,  and doesn't want to cut them all off altogether. So I said,  you can observe their behaviours but you don't have to absorb their energy.  An invitation can be declined - they invite you into their dramas,  you observe but not absorb.  

She seemed to really like that,  so I'm offering it to you here - you don't have to absorb everything that is thrown at you.   I'm a great believer in energy work,  and this is a great description of how to deal with energy that is being thrown at you - you can observe it,  but don't take it on board and you definitely don't have to take it personally or feel that only you can fix it! 

If the first tarot card reader doesn't say what you want to hear...

Sometimes a person will come to me,  and as I give them news they don't want,  they reveal that I am the third (or fourth,  or for one girl,  fifth!) tarot card reader they have seen recently and all of us said the same thing... but they don't want to hear it!

A while ago I had a very sweet Indian girl come to see me.  She was pale with shadows under her eyes.  She said that she had gotten drunk one night and said to her boyfriend that it was all too much,  but by the time she figured out she wanted back in,  he now wanted space.

She asked if they would get back together and drew

World Reversed / 5 swords / page wands Reversed / 6 swords

Even if she wills it and makes a reconciliation happen,  it won't last,  she's riding in the wrong direction,  it will end in swords (tears, pain,  moving on with sorrow, a hard learning experience)

Then she told me I was the fifth tarot card reader she had seen that month.  Fifth!  And all of us said the same thing,  it's not going to happen,  it's not going to work.  But she wants to find the one who tells her it will. This is why I believe in tarot.  Five total strangers,  five separate decks, none of us invested in the outcome and all of us see the same thing. 

So I said to her that she will do as she wants (of course) and she doesn't have to listen to us,  but she needs to listen to herself.  There was something wrong in the relationship which started her drunken ramble,  and she needs to find a way to resolve that. She said he was always distant and punishing (why want him at all?!?  The mysteries of the heart.)  And if she begs him to return,  then he can continue that pattern with impunity.  It's only if she backs away and puts herself first,  can she give him the space to see what he's missing and if he wants to move forward.  She nodded slowly.  He has to have some breathing room to see what you are bringing and you have to have some breathing room to see what he brings to you too.  I said words to that effect four or five times.

And then she agreed,  she would give him some space.  

Five months later she returned telling me he was talking to her and also to another girl,  what should she do. And she looked at me and started to laugh.  Of course I was going to tell her to let him go.  And she knew it was time. She really didn't want to,  the heart wants what the heart wants,  as the song goes.  But you can't will another person to want you back,  you can only torture yourself over it, until you are tired of the torture.  After 5 months,  she was starting to tire of the torture.   

Two years later she came to ask me about another boy altogether.  The cards were much happier with him and we both sighed with relief.  I haven't seen her again.  I can only hope they are still together.