Another great tarot deck!

I've seen these cards around and even used a few of them in my blog posts,  but never saw a cohesive view of the deck before. 

It's called The unveiled tarot by Jesse Lonergam.  They are eye catching and so clever and I'm happy to share them here.  

I've said this before but I just love that there are so many new and interesting tarot decks around.  Each deck can give you a thoughtful new insight into familar cards.   I often give my client 'homework' to scour the net and find a version of an important card from the reading,  to keep close to them.  Because there are so many versions out there,  and some will definitely speak more clearly to you than others. 

Is he the one?

Did a reading a while ago for a girl from Brisbane.  She had a significant love affair but it didn't work.  It wasn't her fault, it wasn't his fault, but he had just opened a new business and all his energy was there and the timing was wrong.  I said to her that he was one of 200 men she could possibly meet and marry and maybe it did work in another time line,  but in this time line it didn't and she can't go back,  she needs to move on. She liked the alternate time line option, sometimes you really can see a future with someone but it just doesn't pan out... 

Now she is seeing a man 14 years her senior.  It won't go anywhere,  he's the Emperor, not flexible enough for her,  but the sex is great,  she drew the Queen of Wands.  She laughed and agreed. She's leaving Sydney at the end of the year and she's going to keep on seeing him,  because there's no point trying for something deeper when she knows she's moving.

Sometimes they are not the one,  and both parties know it,  but they are certainly good enough to be the one for right now,  and as long as everyone knows that's the plan (he knows she plans to move to Melbourne for work in 2027) then a very good time can be had in the meantime. 

Grief poems

I've been so sad lately,  and it's hard to know what to do with all that feeling.  I am being good - seeing friends,  going to the gym,  talking to a therapist,  talking to family,  talking to strangers.

And I have good moments,  or even good days.  But then the sadness rushes in again,  like it's apologizing for leaving me for a minute,  and settles in,  and then pulls out again,  like the tide. 

I came across the simple,  beautiful poetry of Sara Rian.  And she makes me weep,  but she's so alive in her depictions of grief.  I cry reading her works,  but I agree with everything she says,  and that helps.

The journey and the destination

I remember talking about this when I was an addiction counsellor.  If you are driving somewhere and miss your turnoff (or turn off too early) you don't go all the way home and start over again.  You get to the next ramp and start from there.  If you fall off your goal,  you're not a zero,  you are at 100 days minus one - you are at 99 days and then start counting.  

It felt much kinder and also truer,  to do that rather than rachet you back to zero.  

And life is so much about the journey,  rather than just reaching an arbitrary destination. So if it took you 370 days to get to a year's sobriety,  then take those extra days,  those wrong turns,  and try not to do that again. But don't put yourself back at day 0.  You are so much further ahead than that! 

Wishing us all well,  on all of our journeys... 

Today's Poem

Today's poem is by Khalil Gibran and a fragment from his longer piece,  On Houses,  in his book,  The Prophet.  

what have you in these houses? 

And what is it you guard with fastened doors?

Have you peace, the quiet urge that reveals your power?

Have you rememberances, the glimmering arches that span the summits of the mind?

Have you beauty, that leads the heart from things fashioned of wood and stone to the holy mountain?

Tell me, have you these in your houses?

Or have you only comfort, and the lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master?

Actions speak louder

I have lots of regular clients.  I've been seeing one woman every year or so,  she comes in July around her birthday.  This reading was her 10th.  So I've seen her through quite a few dates and some longer term boyfriends and now she is living with a man she met two years ago. 

She said I was the first person who told her that "if he wanted to,  he would."  She and her friends would analyze each and every comment a guy made,  and then she met me and in our very first reading,  that's what I said to her, and that's why she's been coming back. 

Cards read energy,  but energy without action is just air.  I really do judge on actions - words are easy,  but actions require thought and commitment.  And desire.  If he wanted to, he would. 

Her current beau shows up, makes plans,  follows through.  He wants to, and he does.  The cards show he's a keeper,  and she's very happy, and I'm happy to be with her during this reading! 

What's the best option

When people come to me with an important choice,  I like to know nothing more than the label - Plan A or Plan B.  That way,  my own biases don't come into play. 

So a woman in her late twenties comes to me with two work opportunities and and I say,  let's shuffle and think about Plan A.

She draws  4 wands / King of Swords / 8 of pentacles. 

And then we look at Plan B

7 pentacles reversed / hanged man / 7 of swords. 

Knowing nothing about either options, it's clear that Plan A is the better option - it's more stable,  it has a smart organized male energy and it gives career vibes.

Plan B was more hanging in the wind and betrayal. 

Turns out Plan A was moving to Canada and take a position there and Plan B involved staying the more familiar New Jersey.  She was scared of the big change of moving countries,  but she too could clearly see it was the better option.  Sometimes fears hold us back,  but with a little reassurance,  we can burst forward. 

Where the spirit meets the bone

I'm not a real swiftie.  I barely know who she dated (yes,  I know she just got married!) and I like her songs,  my car is almost permanently on Taylor Swift Radio,  but I don't know all her lyrics by heart or all her songs.

Then I started listening to the Swiftie and the Scholar,  on youtube.  It's a deep dive (about an hour an episode and each episode covers only one song) on random songs. 

I'm not listening to them in any order,  but I've been watching about one a week.  

Last one was about Ivy,  I song I realized I barely knew.  I had listened to it once or twice on Evermore,  but it hadn't gotten it's hooks on me, though some of the phrases I really liked. 

I had noticed the phrase,  where the spirit meets the bone,  it's so evocative.  And then the poetry professor tells us it's not unique to Taylor,  it comes from this poem:

From The Ways We Touch: Poems. 

Isn't that a beautiful phrase in a beautiful poem? And I love the song so much more now!  I didn't realize the Emily Dickinson connection and was fascinated to learn about it. 

So if you want to do a deep dive,  this is a fun away to while away an hour... 

Dreams

I've lived in London and New York.  Last night I dreamt that I was in midtown,  NYC,  and trying to get back down to Tribeca but I was walking through all these weird neighborhoods and couldn't figure out where I was.  In the dream I realized I was in Bond St and didn't know where that was in relation to Tribeca.  I was becoming increasingly agitated,  and then tried texting my husband to ask him the name of our hotel, so I could give up on walking and just cab there,  and then I remembered he was dead. 

That jolted me so much,  I woke up.  And awake,  I said to myself,  you were in London, silly,  that's why you couldn't find Tribeca.  Then I was asleep again,  and still looking to get to Tribeca while in the middle of London,  and still confused and very upset that my husband couldn't help me anymore.

Then I woke up again,  fully this time.  There's nothing wrong with being in London,  it's a fab city.  But if you are searching for New York landmarks,  you won't find them in London.  Widowhood is so disorienting,  all the familiar landmarks gone,  and the person you used to text for help and advice,  well, you can't reach him anymore.  

I guess I just have to accept that I can't go back to the past,  I have to make my way forward.  But I do so miss him.  I'm grateful that I have someone to miss, that we had such a good life together.  I also feel for dream me, lost in the wrong city,  unable to sort myself out.  Luckily awake me can see things a bit more clearly... 

saw this on line and it made me smile

 

We need more Women In STEM 

Sorcery

Tarot

Energy

Magic

Good fields to be in... 

My current favorite tarot deck

I frequently look at Tarot cards,  to find new variants,  to see if a new image will spark a deeper interpretation. 

And I just came across the marvellously named Fat Folks Tarot.  And it's true that tarot cards rarely have less than perfect figures on them,  unless they are trying to say something specific.  So it's great to see all the cards have these plump interesting figures in them,  and give us fat folk some representation. 

The Deck has a variety of artists who worked on them,  so they can look quite different.  Look them up on Instagram and see some of their variations. 

I particularly liked their version of the 5 of pentacles,  which shows such a beautiful and true way of feeling excluded and out in the cold... 

4 of pentacles vs 9 of Cups

I'm finding I'm explaining these 2 cards,  the 4 of pentacles and the 9 of cups,  again and again to people lately. I really feel we are living in a world exploiting our feelings of not enoughness,  feeding our dissatisfactions, wanting our envy.

I came across this anecdote:  At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its whole history. Heller responds, “Yes, but I have something he will never have … the knowledge that I have enough."

And it seems to me that the super rich right now have no idea what enough looks like.  And the world of instagram and trad wives and holidays abroad are all about needing more, exploiting the feeling of the 4 of pentacles,  where our financial needs and wants hang over us. We feel tight for money,  tight for time,  tight. 

And what we want,  what we should all be striving for is the 9 of cups,  the card I call the fat and happy card,  where you don't have everything,  but you have that most special of all things,  enough.  You are content with what you have.  There may be a cup or two missing,  but you don't let that spoil the cups that you have.  You let yourself have joy with what comes your way,  and let yourself be rich in the ways of Joseph Heller,  and know that you have enough.

That's my blessing to all of us,  may we know the value of what we have,  and let us feel contentment. 

saying of the week

Sometimes someone says something to me in passing during a reading,  and I have to stop them and repeat it so both of us could hear it properly,  and I know I will be saying it to others. 

I spoke with a young woman recently and she quoted to me something her mother often says - Just because you could be doing more, doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough - and I thought, what a wise,  wise mother!

Let's just sit with that for a moment.  We could always being doing more in this culture,  but here is a breath of calm wisdom - just because we could be doing more,  doing mean that we are doing isn't enough.  It's a version of my oft quoted don't let the perfect get in the way of the good,  but it's another way of looking at it and it unlocked something in me to hear it,  so I'm sharing it with you... 

Modern Wedding Vows

I never wanted to write my own vows.  We had a traditional wedding and I don't think either of us said very much.  But the weddings I am going to now are much more eclectic. I think there's a power in the traditional words, but then I came across this one:

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself.

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.

You cannot command me, for I am a free person.

But I shall serve you in those ways you require,

And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night,

And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.

I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup.

I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care.

I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.

I shall not slander you, nor you me.

I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in

Private and tell no strangers our grievances.

This is my wedding vow to you

This is the marriage of equals.

By Morgan Llywelyn

Isn't that amazing!  That sounds like a relationship worth celebrating! I'd love to go to a wedding where they said those vows. 

All my readings are virtual

I lived in NYC for 15 years.  I moved to Sydney but my old clients kept wanting readings. What could I do?

For me,  the substance of the tarot reading is the cards that you draw,  from a deck that you have shuffled.  I cannot shuffle for you.  I've tried,  but I can't get clear readings from it.

So how was I to do my readings from across the ocean?  I asked my regulars to get their hands on a tarot deck - it didn't matter which one,  as long at it was a full 78 cards (some of the fancier ones have fewer cards and I can't make sense of them either.)  But if you are buying one specifically,  I recommend the Rider Waite Smith Radiant.  It's pretty and easy to read.  Then,  they could shuffle and do the first layout.  And I could do the rest. 

So now most of my clients are in the US,  though I have done readings for people in Europe and elsewhere as well.  You get to sit in the quiet and comfort of your own home,  and you get to the shuffle the cards.

We start with the Celtic Cross Layout

And then I can answer 3-4 questions depending on how fast we talk!

I also recommend that people record these readings. If you don't want it, then you can just delete it,  but if you do want it,  I can't always recall the exact sentence I said to you.  I've had people who never listen, and people who've relistened so often that I can hear my own phrases when they talk to me.  Either way is good, what works for you is what matters.