Grief poems

I've been so sad lately,  and it's hard to know what to do with all that feeling.  I am being good - seeing friends,  going to the gym,  talking to a therapist,  talking to family,  talking to strangers.

And I have good moments,  or even good days.  But then the sadness rushes in again,  like it's apologizing for leaving me for a minute,  and settles in,  and then pulls out again,  like the tide. 

I came across the simple,  beautiful poetry of Sara Rian.  And she makes me weep,  but she's so alive in her depictions of grief.  I cry reading her works,  but I agree with everything she says,  and that helps.

Grief is like a wave

Grief is such an odd creature.  It just swoops in, at unexpected moments,  to wash over you. 

And I guess I just have to remind myself that I'm on the beach,  and grief is a wave that sweeps in and splashes me,  and then sweeps out again.  And the next wave may contain joy,  or serenity,  or more grief,  who knows...  but the beach is a healing space for me and I like waves.  

Maybe I can step back a bit and not get splashed so much,  but what's the sense in that.  I always want to be in the mix of life,  so I just let the water flow... 

All too real

My husband has been ill for many years now.  It was a slow progressive illness which kept branching off into new and terrible complications.

He died last Wednesday,  April 1st,  Erev Seder in the Jewish Calendar.

I veer between calm and sadness,  between acceptance and grief. 

Or all at the same time,  sadly calm,  acceptingly grief struck.  I cry a lot and then just as suddenly stop,  like a tap that doesn't know whether it's off or on. 

Just want the universe to know,  what a magical man he was,  and how sorry we all are to lose him.  He was much loved. 

His memory is a blessing for us.