Want a cookie energy

Recently a client used a phrase I hadn't heard before and I just thought it was perfect.  She was complaining about her husband and said he just has this 'want a cookie' energy.  She caught my puzzled look and said,  every time he does anything,  just normal adult stuff,  like unload the dishwasher or move clothes into the dryer,  he acts like he should get a cookie/reward for it.  (paraphrasing,  but that's the gist of it)  She's tired of him wanting praise and cookies for just doing basic stuff,  while not giving the same back to her. 

That was a really good observation and one hard that's hard to fight. It's hard when things feel unbalanced.  Her 2 of cups was reversed  and the 5 of swords was hovering.  We had a serious talk and I recommended counselling. These feelings can so easily lead to contempt,  and contempt is the marriage killer. 

But I loved the phrase.  

Quote of the week

 

I read this on threads - I hope someone loves you so well,  you'll never have to go to another tarot reading again.

Which is a sweet blessing,  to be that sure,  that you don't have to ask any questions about love.  

I frequently do readings for people who don't ask me anything about their spouse - that's all good.  They want to know about work,  or about if they can conceive,  or if they are on the right path.  

So even with the love stuff sorted,  you may still want to go to a tarot reader.  But I also hope that someone loves you so well,  that you don't need to ask questions about it.  

Unequal Loving

When people ask about love, the card they want to see is the Lovers card.  But the love card I like best is the 2 of cups.  Sometimes when we are young, to feel safe, we want the other person to love us more than we love them; or to feel that this is a grand experience, we want someone to adore. But a mature love is when both people put the same amount of energy into the relationship, which is what the 2 of cups symbolizes for me.

Recently I had a reading where a good man loved my client, but she didn’t love him back, and the more he loved her, the less she could breathe.  I said that just because someone has feelings for you, you are not obligated to return them. You don’t have to love someone back.  What you do have to do is be kind, and treat them gently, but their feelings don’t make them deserve you. 

I’ve given several readings for people who have told me it’s easier to be the unrequited lover, than be the one who doesn’t love back.  If you are offering something beautiful and they don’t take it… then that’s their problem.  But what if someone is offering you something beautiful but you don’t want it… it’s hard to say no without feeling guilty. It’s hard to say no when they want it so much, but just because they want it, doesn’t mean it is right for you…

That’s why I find the Two of Cups so beautiful – when both lovers are putting the same amount of energy into the relationship, creating a perfect balance.

Last picture,  Blooming Wisteria, by Aida Markiw