Self Help books (or videos)

I often encourage my readers to get self help books.  For a minimal cost, if you get just one sentence out of it,  it's a fabulous payoff. 

I watched a video (of course it's about Heated Rivalry,  but the topic is much broader than that) about facing your worst fears.

And the one sentence I took away is Self judgement doesn’t debate, it stamps a verdict.

And that is so true. I meet people for tarot readings and their self judgement so often puts them in a corner that they can't seem to find way out. And the cards are often so clear for them. And kinder to them than they are to themselves.

Self judgement feels like facts, like reality. If you can give yourself a bit of space from these core self judgements (eg I'm a loser, I always pick the wrong guys, I'm bad with money) you can start to see that they are not reality, and you can shift them. Hard work but so worth it!

Heated Rivalry and the Corrective Experience

Okay,  okay,  I'm completely watching Heated Rivalry.  In my viewing experience I just found it delightful but also weirdly healing and I was looking for words to explain it and I came across Esther Perel talking about it

I just loved how she explains how every terrifying/bad experience in the show, turns out to have the best possible outcome.   How there are no bad consequences but instead each is met with a corrective experience.  And that was such a beautiful explanation,  and it really spoke to me. 

It's what we so want,  when life gives us pain,  that it will also heal us.  And it's a lovely explanation as to why the show resonates with people so much.  It's so hopeful (and hot) and sweet (and hot.) 

If you haven't seen it,  it's very explicit,  but also very romantic and fun.  Perfect antidote for the way the outside world is behaving right now.