The Vampire Problem

Every so often I come across a new to me idea or approach,  and I  write about here a) so I don't forget it and b) when I inevitably mention it in a future reading,  I  have a good link to share. 

L.A Paul is a philosopher and she became famous writing about transformative experiences,  with having a child as a key example.   The you that you may become post child is unknown and unknowable to the you that is thinking about whether or not to have a child. The act of having a child is so transformative that the you that decided to have a child just could not formulate how much this would affect you and what it would do to your life. Even if you thought about it very carefully and rationally,  the unknowns are too unknowable in each particular instance,  that on some level,   you operate without truly knowing how this will impact you.

And the example she came up was the Vampire Problem.  Let's say you are debating whether to become a vampire.  You won't really ever know what it's like to be a vampire until after the event.  So all your foreknowledge or research is not really useful,  because the being that you are after the transformation may be so different to the one who made the decision and that being may have completely different values/agendas - because of the transformation that the old you decided!

What makes a transformative experience?

1.  The choice is irreversible - in the case of having a child,  it's probably one of the few one way doors in life (Love that phrase,  it comes from Sebasatiano Merlino on threads. )

2. There is an experience gap: It is impossible for you to know how the experience will impact you until you go through it.

3. It is transformative:  the you that is deciding is not the same you that will deal with the decision.

I like this.  It's just a way of look at transformative experiences and giving us some idea of how to think about them. 

I think I'm drawn to this right now because I am going through a transformative experience of my own - from wife of 38 years to widow,  and it soothes me on some level to know that it doesn't matter what I try to control now,  the me I'll be down the track may be so different,  that these decisions may have completely different resonances.  And that helps me to let go of anxiety.  I can't control for it,  I'm in the midst of it,  it is happening no matter what.