Often social chit chat leaves a lot to be desired. People who don't know you, just cast about for a topic and chose... So what do you do? When you are unemployed and feeling vulnerable about it. Or, so are you dating anyone special? When you are single and don't want to be. I tried for many years to become pregnant. I can't tell you how many weddings/family events I went to where distant uncles and aunts asked me why I wasn't pregnant, what was going on. After about 5 years, I finally said to them, I'm doing all I can, it's in God's hands now. And then they backed off.
Often they don't want to hurt you or hit your bruise. They are just chit-chatting away. And it's up to you how real you want to be. You can socialize back, saying nothing real, nothing substantial. Maybe there is nothing to say to those folks. Or you can make it real, but end up feeling even more vulnerable and misunderstood if they don't respond back in a sensitive way. You can stop going out with those people, though many of them are well meaning and new strangers might also ask, so what do you do...
When people come to me with these issues, I say you have to practice what you are going to say in each situation - to the stranger at a party, to the friend of a friend, to your mother. Each person/situation might merit a different answer, a different level of truth. But I do encourage people to say something real, rather than out and out lie. It's hard to keep lies alive, takes effort and energy and most people don't feel better after lying.
So you find the way to phrase it so it works for you, keeping as true as you can. Also, I never ask people what they do, I ask how's it going? What are you up to? Let's train ourselves in better questions, so we don't inadvertently touch other people's nerves.
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