Tuesday, December 17, 2024

Useful feedback

Sometimes we are going about our lives and one of friends says something to us,  about how we are managing ourselves,  and it's not complimentary!   Often that doesn't feel nice at all.  People come to me and ask if they should stop being friends with this type of person. 

My question is,  was the information useful?  Did it show things in a new light?  


Sometimes we don't see our situation as clearly as an outsider might.  Sometimes our friends are looking out for us.  Of course it could be that some of our friends are awful people and we should find new ones - but if we're not in middle school,  I hope that's not the case! 


So maybe this friend was clumsy,  and maybe they are just more conservative/ less conservative,  more adventurous / less adventurous than we are. So we can look at the information and factor that in too.  But I look at things through several lenses - were they saying this to be helpful?  Do they believe it?  Have others said something like it?  Are they kind friends?  I always look to see if the feedback could be useful to me.  It might just show a new perspective on things,  it might be really helpful. 



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