Cultural Moments

I went and saw Lizzo recently,  on her tour of Australia.  I love her.  I love her lyrics,  I love her voice,  I love her message.  And then this weird news broke out - 3 back up dancers were suing her,  for sexual harassment?  How could that be?

My husband has worked in theater for a long time.  And I've seen stars go out after a show,  wired and needing to decompress.  And I can see how easily Lizzo,  on tour,  no friends around,  says to her homies,  let's go out.  But she's wearing two hats here:  friend/fun girl and boss.  But she only sees the one hat,  she doesn't see the Employer hat sitting so firmly on her head. So maybe her crew don't want to go out,  maybe they find it exhausting being windswept and interesting with their boss,  after work. But if they say no,  they are the boring ones,  the not fun ones,  and maybe that means they won't be rehired when this tour ends. So there is a subtle but strong pressure to go out.  I've seen it on countless nights. Also, the person inviting is also charismatic and interesting.  So you go.  But you can feel resentful and tired and somehow trapped.

And then,  because they are in Amsterdam or Paris and going out late,  after a show - well what's open?  And somehow,  she is inviting people to go out,  but not to a regular nightclub,  but to a sex club.  That's a line you can't cross with your employees.  You cannot be taking them to sex clubs.  Even when you think they are friends,  even when you are just joking.  It's like all those salesmen who were taken to strip bars by their bosses in the 1980s,  and were unable to say,  hey,  this is unprofessional and frankly gross and I don't want to be here. But it's 2023 and she should absolutely know better.

What she should have said, what I would have advised her to say,  had she asked me,  is omg,  I'm so sorry.  I thought I was just inviting people to hang and totally overlooked that they were actually my employees and I may have inadvertently put them in uncomfortable situations.  I feel sick to my stomach now that I think about it. This is 100% not what I want people to feel.  I wish they had been able to say to my face that they didn't feel comfortable there, but I know that it's on me to prevent this stuff happening,  and trust me,  it won't happen on my watch again.  Again, I'm so sorry that these people felt the slightest bit coerced.  I think of them as family,  but I can see,  that I'm also the boss,  and I will never invite my employees to a sex club again.  

I still love her.  I hope she learns and grows from this incident.