As people, we don’t have one day of suddenly becoming independent. We have independence moments – a college graduation, when you learn to fix the dishwasher yourself, when you organize a business loan... those moments are worth celebrating!
Of course independence means something different to each person. No one is truly independent, ‘no man is an island’. I always think of humans as a pack animal. We need other people around us, people we can rely on, people who rely on us; family, friends, work mates.
A 50 year old woman I read for recently lamented that since her grandparents death, she has no one to go home to, no one to give her shelter from the storm and allow her time to regroup.
A lot of the people in their mid twenties who come to me are also struggling with what does independence look like for them, some thought they would be further ahead than they are now, some still want to stay home.
A sense of independence comes when we find we can do certain things on our own, and carry certain burdens for those we love, and feel a sense of competence in the world. And that’s worth some fireworks!
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