When the cards don't like your boyfriend

Had a regular and she came for 3 readings over 3 years and drew the same Devil card around her boyfriend,  who really wasn't very nice to her.  We had long discussions about it,  but the Devil has his charms and she stuck with it.

In our last reading,  she came and finally,  they were having a break.  So maybe,  finally she was over Daniel (not his real name) whom the cards never liked.

But what I find interesting is that she came to me and the cards had been shuffled by hundreds of people between readings,  or even a new deck had been introduced,  and she still drew the Devil card around him.  That's what convinces me that the tarot is real. 

Nowadays you are using your own deck*,  so I do recommend very thorough shuffling between readings,  to keep the energy clean.

* The way I read the cards,  the magic is in the shuffling.  So even when I do readings on line,  I need you to shuffle the cards.   I then talk you through the initial layout (Celtic cross,  pictured above) and we do the reading.  Without you doing the physical shuffling,  all I get is mud.  But with you shuffling,  I can read for you  no matter where you are in the world. 

Just Give me a Sign

Poor woman.  She came to me for a reading,  and the cards just hated the man she had recently started dating exclusively.  She drew The Devil,  Judgment reversed,  10 of swords. 

So we spoke for a long time about him and her feelings and how she wants it to work.  The cards were really clear,  and they did not see it working. 

And just before we ended,  she said to me that her friends don't like him and her therapist doesn't like him but she wanted to speak to a psychic,  and now I didn't like him (I don't know him! I just told her what the cards told me.)  She feels we are all being unsupportive and she is going to keep seeing him,  anyways. 

I felt like I was watching Steve Martin,  the The Man with Two Brains

She's getting all the signs,  she just doesn't want to hear them! I finally told her to come back in 6 months,  and we'll see where she is from there.  I know she is going to be disappointed in him,  but me knowing,  and her believing are two different things... 

Current favorite poem

I'm so upset with the New York Times,  a paper I read daily,  which put up an article asking if Women had Ruined the Workplace.  And when they faced backlash over that,  changed the title to Did Liberal Feminism ruin the workplace?  And then,  when that didn't seem to fix the problem,  changed it to  What is toxic Femininity?   Just such an awful question,  which gave rise to lots of thoughtful articles debunking it! 

And in a perfect antidote to that,  I found this poem,  by a poet I have written about before,  Danielle Coffyn

If Adam Picked the Apple

There would be a parade,

a celebration,

a holiday to commemorate

the day he sought enlightenment.

We would not speak of

temptation by the devil, rather,

we would laud Adam’s curiosity,

his desire for adventure

and knowing.

We would feast

on apple-inspired fare:

tortes, chutneys, pancakes, pies.

There would be plays and songs

reenacting his courage.

But it was Eve who grew bored,

weary of her captivity in Eden.

And a woman’s desire

for freedom is rarely a cause

for celebration.

So then what happened?

I had a reading with a new client.  She found me via this blog.  She read about the woman whose second boyfriend,  while superficially different to the first,  was just the same devil in disguise.  

So what happened with them? she asked.

I don't know.  The woman hasn't come back yet.  

And she was disappointed,  like the tv series had cut short too soon.  (I always change a few details,  to keep anonymity.  People don't even recognise their own stories in the blog!)

I often feel like that too.  People come to a reading,  I see all about their lives,  and then they disappear and I don't get to see what happened next.  That's why I love repeat clients.  Even years later,  they come back and we see how the story continues... 

Letting the Perfect get in the way of the Good

I see this so often in readings.  A desire for perfection spoiling the pretty good moments.  People have this around weddings,  where everything has to be 'perfect' and of course it won't be,  because nothing is perfect and then after the wedding,  all the focus is on what went wrong and how awful the person/situation was that unwittingly spoilt the event. 

But even on things not as dramatic as weddings - people just want the holiday,  the apartment,  the new job - they want it all to work out perfectly.  And instead of celebrating the good,  they focus on what doesn't work.  

And the cards are so ruthless. They draw the 4 of cups or the Devil - cards showing them getting lost in their dreams and not seeing the good in front of them,  or repeating bad patterns.

So if this is happening to you,  if you feel constantly disappointed/stressed, give yourself a moment to focus on what is really going on.  Is it good enough or do we have to go and change it?  But don't expect perfection,  that guarantees disappointment...  

How 'new' is the new boyfriend

A woman came in for her third reading with me.  I first met her 5 years ago and she was dating someone, let's call him Ian.  The cards never liked him.  She didn't like him all that much either,  but there are reasons people stay in relationships,  and it while was not great,  it was comfortable enough.

Finally,  on the third reading she came to tell me that they had broken up, he had moved out and she had meet someone new!  Let's call him Sam.

So he's richer, more accomplished, more together. Do the cards like him?

She drew Queen Pentacles Reversed / 7 swords / Devil.

Oh dear. 

When you draw the Devil card around your new relationship it often means that while the man is new,  the pattern is old - you are repeating old bad addictive patterns.

She turns herself upside down for her relationships,  her very fine Queen is reversed,  and the 7 of swords - the card of betrayal,  either he betrays her or she betrays herself and it all ends up with the Devil,  the same old song.  This is just Ian mark 2.

So we had a long discussion of what draws her to men,  what she finds attractive,  what pattern is repeating.  She sighed. She wasn't happy but she did agree with everything I and the cards said.  It was time to break the pattern,  let the attractive Devil go and look for someone she can just be herself with.

I hope she lets herself do that! 

The Cards know best

Every so often people say to me,  it's not the cards,  it's just you - your judgement, your opinion,  your insight.  And I say no.  Because I'm reading all the time,  I can see it more clearly,  but the cards definitely know more than me about any given situation.  

I can think of hundreds of examples.  The woman who said what's going on in my relationship and the cards said,  he's a good person,  but he's just not there for you. And she said,  I knew it,  on paper he's the one but we're just not connecting and it's a relief to say that after everyone else tells me it should work.  Or the woman who drew the Devil card when discussing her relationship and we both looked at it and she sighed and said he really is the devil for me!  Or the guy who gave me three job options and the cards chose job B,  the secure job with benefits rather than Job A,  the start up (and I'm glad I didn't know which was which,  so he couldn't accuse me of being too conservative!) 

If you ask a question and me and the cards disagree,  I'll always give the cards opinion.  After all,  I'm just a person,  but the cards are reading you,  and if you look clearly,  you do always know best. 

The second question - finding work

After love,  the other most common question that people have when they come to me is about work.  

If you have options,  I ask you to give me no information,  just think about Job A,  Job B,  Job C etc and we draw cards and the discuss.  I laughed when one client drew the devil for his start up job and the 8 of pentacles for his much more stable,  still in a great industry,  job.  I told him I was glad I didn't know so it didn't look like I was guiding him to the more conservative,  reliable job.  And that it's clear that start ups can be the devil to work for! 

On a more practical level,  I tell job seekers to make sure their linked in pages are bright and shiny and up to date. It's now industry standard for most job searches. For more information on that,  go here.  And once it's gorgeous, put a link to it in their email signatures,  so it's on every email they send out and it makes it effortless for anyone networking for them to pass the information on. 
Clients have also recommended ZipRecruiter and Indeed.  

What I tell people is that job hunting can be exhausting,  and I recommend you do it,  really focus on it,  for 4 hours a day - preferably from 9 am to lunch. And then you give yourself the rest of the day off,  guilt free.  You can't actually job search for 8 hours daily,  all you will feel is burnt out and depressed.  Check sites,  answer emails,  find networking events. And then go to the gym,  have drinks with friends,  have fun.  Allow yourself to have a life as well as look for work.  

Love. Part 2

There is so much to say about love!  

Here's Part Two

Before love,  there is the quest for love.   Dating is such a complex and strange experience,  many people come to the tarot, to help sort it out.   People misbehave,  over-commit,  self-destruct,  straight out lie,  and then,  sometimes,  rarely,  but once is enough - prove themselves and are worthy and give the relationship time and attention and it all grows from there.  

But how do you know which one it's going to be? It's a real 7 of cups time.

The cards are often brutal about dating.  If they don't think it will work, they just say it.  I remember doing a reading and a girl asked about her boyfriend and drew the Devil Card.  She and I both looked at that clear message,  and I said,  "Oh,  honey,  it's not good."  and she nodded sadly and told me he was unfaithful to her and worked as a drug dealer.   Well,  clearly that was not what she wanted and the rest of the conversation was about why she was letting such a difficult relationship into her life. I didn't know him (or her,  it was her first reading with me) but the cards knew straight away! 

Other times the cards are more hopeful.  A young woman in her 30's came to ask about her boyfriend who was out of work and appeared to be happy to let her carry the load for a while.   She was getting anxious (as anyone would be) but the cards were surprisingly calm.  He was moving from the King of Cups to the King of Pentacles - from the boyfriend to the husband card and I told her to hang in there.   When she came and saw me about another issue (work this time) a year or so later,  it had all worked out,  he was in a better job and they were planning a wedding...   

So if you want to explore dating relationships,  tarot can definitely help! 

Which Tarot Deck do I use for your reading?

People often ask me which Tarot Decks I prefer.  I own several, but the one I use most consistently for readings is the Rider Waite Deck.  It’s the most popular one, the one that many books are based on – and many other tarot designs play off.  I replace my deck about once a year or sooner if I see they are getting frayed.   I actually use the Rider Waite Radiant, which is identical to the traditional Rider Waite deck but with prettier/brighter colors.

If you are very familiar with the Rider Waite, you might find the New Vision deck by Lo Scarabeo charming – it shows the expected Rider Waite drawings, but from behind, giving them a cheekier perspective.

I love that there are so many variations out there, so many different perspectives to see.  Above is the wonderful Housewives Tarot.  That devil card is perfect!

I have been doing more and more skype readings lately.  I still need you to shuffle the cards, so I encourage people to buy or borrow a deck, then they do the shuffling and lay out and I do the interpretation.  It doesn’t matter to me which deck people use but if you are new to tarot, then the Rider Waite is usually the best place to start.

Seeing the Truth

I read this fascinating article the other day -  about a writer’s experience with a con man/murderer and how he heard the wrong notes of the story but ignored them, and then felt so betrayed at the end, when the truth came to light. 

I remember doing a reading some time ago with a young woman, in her early twenties, talking about life and job choices,  the usual questions. But when she asked about her future she drew these cards –

Devil / Emperor / 8 of swords 

I suppose I could have lied and made up some story but the cards made no sense to me in the context we had been talking about,  and I said as much to her.  I described them in detail – addictive/negative patterns, a dominating, controlling man/situation, a strong sense of being trapped, but if she was willing to see clearly she could find a way out. 

And then she told me that she had lied to me, she was not a student,  but rather a call girl,  and those cards described how she was feeling perfectly.  I had not suspected her of lying, I had no cause to, but the cards… they see the truth even when I don’t. 

After that truth was revealed, the reading became far more productive.  
 
I was reminded of this when I saw this other piece in the New York times -  Chicago University is asking us if we can spot the liar through body language…   Can you?

Looking at the Devil card again

In the Rider Waite version the devil card just looks scary, but it also looks alien. Who here sincerely worries about the devil? I explain that the devil is the repetitive bad patterns, addictive habits that lead us astray, taking us away from where we want to go.

And who understands the true work of the devil better than the housewife’s tarot – that chocolate cake, tempting us to gluttony, sloth and short term gratification, bringing out all our bad habits and vices.  So clear and easy to understand,  I just love it! 

A young man's experience

Recently I stumbled across this article.  In 2011 I did a reading for this young man, and this is what he wrote

“Liat Silberman, an Australian expat who reads fortunes in TriBeCa, wasn’t sketchy at all. She charges 100 bucks per reading*, is often booked months in advance, and does her tarot-card deciphering in upscale cafés. She was pleasantly matter-of-fact as she laid out a “Celtic cross” arrangement of cards and told me what she saw: I was low on money, anxious and uncertain about the future and not making enough time for friends – if I continued this way I might fall into repetitive, materialistic patterns of addiction, represented by a suitably ugly Devil card. She saw two women in my future, but – she turned over a card featuring a guy facedown with a mess of swords in his back – things weren’t going to turn out well with either of them.

Either she was more psychic than the storefront Gypsies or she was way better at bullshitting. But whatever the case, as I spread out my problems before her she reminded me that I was in my 20s and everyone in their 20s feels this way when they’re trying to figure stuff out. It’s no big deal. Her advice was to have some fun, enjoy the city, grow and adapt – the stuff I know but still need to hear again and again, because I’m an idiot – and she delivered it in the manner of that kindly, unhip aunt whom you feel comfortable discussing your drug use with…”

So there you have it,  I’m the kindly unhip aunt,  with whom you can feel comfortable discussing your drug use…    


*I’m charging $120 per reading now.

At the World's End...

The World (21)

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, the end of the Fools journey. So it signifies completion - everything finally coming together, all your hard work paying off. It also signifies a shift, from student to master. You started this journey a ‘Fool’, but end it at the centre of your world, having gone through many trials and tribulations, meeting with devil, watching it all crumble, but then coming to the light at the end of the tunnel, walking into the sunshine, hearing the call for a new way of doing things and here you are… at the World.



I like the world in the eye as well, as it gives the sense that for a moment we see clearly, and it all makes sense, we see the pattern and the payoff.



I particularly love the Inner Child version of this card, that beautiful magical baby, floating in space. It gives you a sense of innocence and wonder, the completion of the gestation, and then birth – and a new journey commences - the Tarot is all about cycles. I often get this card when women are anxious about conceiving and we are both so happy to see it.

It all falls down

Tarot is a funny beast, you get the devil card and we say it’s not all bad, you get the death card and we talk about rebirth… Well you get the Tower card, and things are crumbling.



It can feel like a lightning bolt from the blue, or like a river inexorably rising. You can know it’s happening or it can sweep you from behind, but sweep it does. Some edifice, something you’ve built that had substance and importance in your life, is breaking. And when the tower comes, although we can talk about things being better in the long run, in the short run it feels bleak.



I saw this card as I was looking for images, and of course it fits perfectly: - that shocking, awful, wrong experience that just crumbles things to the ground. When the tower appears, planes crash into buildings and we feel bereft…

From any loss, good can grow, in any tragedy, heroism can be shown. But the tower is about that feeling of everything breaking, the centre not holding, and we have to let ourselves feel the loss and mourn, before we can more on.



I like the Inner Child's Rapunzel image, because it shows that some towers were wrongly built in the first place. In an effort to protect the child she stole, a witch hides her in a tower. To the witch, the tower breaking is the loss of love, the death of a dream. To Rapunzel, the tower breaking is a total change, an escape from a weirdly loving prison, to the woods, where anything can happen...

I actually don’t get this card so often in readings, for which I am grateful (as no doubt are the people I read for!) But I’ve never found it to be about a trivial or simple thing – it’s about loss of jobs, breakups of marriages, foreclosure, bankruptcy. It’s an upheaval and if you see it in your cards, gather all the support you can because you will need it.