Emotional attachment

 

"When you lose your emotional attachment to them, you begin to realize how ordinary they are and that it was your love and energy that made them unique"

Apparently this is an internet quote.  I'd not heard it in this precise way before,  but I see so often that people fall in love with what they want to see,  and when they finally disengage,  they can see that it was just another human in front of them... not a demi god or a monster.  We give them our power and they become powerful.  When we detach,  we take back our power and amazingly,  they can become powerless for us. 

And it reminds of a piece I put up a while ago.  (Just did the search and I wrote it in 2013!) with a quote from Gone with the Wind.  I called it Loving what we want to see

“I loved something I made up, something that’s just as dead as Melly is. I made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it. And when Ashley came riding along, so handsome, so different, I put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And I wouldn’t see what he really was. I kept on loving the pretty clothes—and not him at all.”  Scarlett in Gone with the Wind.

People come and tell me things like this all the time (though not always with Scarlett's hard won awareness) 

It's so important to see the person as they truly are,  and not put your own suit on them, or give them all your power.

JoHari Window

I've been clearing out my study, and one of the things I came across was the a file about the Johari Window,  which is a tool I still refer to occasionally.  So I decided to go through it here.

Basically it was a way of describing personal information.  There are things about you that you know,  and that you are happy for others to know (open.) 

There are things you know that you wish to hide (hidden.)  

But there also things about you,  that others know,  that you may not (Blind.) 

 And finally there are things about you that you don't know, and neither do others (Unknown) 

What I love about tarot is that it immediately sees both the hidden and the blind panels,  but also,  with a bit of exploration,  you can start to see the unknown panel - what is there about me that is hard for both me and others to see but still drives me. 

Barbara V Evers has created a very cute window describing Harry Potter,  so you can see how the window works -

The healthier we are,  the larger the open window is.  The healthier we are,  the smaller the unknown areas and blind spots are.  Those are where we can trip over ourselves and wonder what happened... 

I really do believe that a deep tarot session can push through and let you see things clearly,  that have not been clear before.  Partly is it because I trust the cards so much,  that if they seem off kilter,  we have to pause and see what they are trying to tell you,  and from there,  the knowledge that was trying to seep out,  gets seen.  Tarot really is a very powerful tool. 

The Cards know best

Every so often people say to me,  it's not the cards,  it's just you - your judgement, your opinion,  your insight.  And I say no.  Because I'm reading all the time,  I can see it more clearly,  but the cards definitely know more than me about any given situation.  

I can think of hundreds of examples.  The woman who said what's going on in my relationship and the cards said,  he's a good person,  but he's just not there for you. And she said,  I knew it,  on paper he's the one but we're just not connecting and it's a relief to say that after everyone else tells me it should work.  Or the woman who drew the Devil card when discussing her relationship and we both looked at it and she sighed and said he really is the devil for me!  Or the guy who gave me three job options and the cards chose job B,  the secure job with benefits rather than Job A,  the start up (and I'm glad I didn't know which was which,  so he couldn't accuse me of being too conservative!) 

If you ask a question and me and the cards disagree,  I'll always give the cards opinion.  After all,  I'm just a person,  but the cards are reading you,  and if you look clearly,  you do always know best.