When you ask about love

Really,  asking about love is one of the most common questions I get,  and the cards are so accurate when it comes to feelings.   

I did a reading a while ago (I never give real times or names,  to protect your privacy,  but I do give the real cards)  and the woman drew -  

Wheel of Fortune / Queen of Cups / 6 of Swords / Ace of Cups

So there's a journey here.  She's spinning right now,  the wheel is moving,  it could stop anywhere,  but at least it's change.  She's not stagnating.  There is a warning about the Queen of Cups,  who can sometimes get lost in her own dreams/ desires and not look around clearly enough.  And then there is the sadness of the 6 of swords,  a moving on with sorrow.  No one wants these cards! But all this difficulty leads to the Ace of Cups,  the card she really does want,  a yes to love,  a yes to emotional intimacy. 

So the message for her was,  she needs to go on this journey,  she needs to let go of some of her dreams/ fantasies,  she needs to let go of her past relationship and really let herself move on.  I tell people that the 6 of swords is a moving on with sorrow,  but at least it's not being stuck with sorrow!  And then,  and only then,  once this hard work is done,  does she get what she really wants. 

People sometimes get upset with this kind of news - they want what they want,  but they don't want to do the hard work to get it.  And then it won't happen.  The cards and karma are relentless like that.  And she looked into my kind tired eyes and saw that there was no escaping the work of letting go of the Queen of Cups and the 6 of swords,  but it would be worth it.  And she sighed and agreed.  

(These disney tarot cards are cute,  but I wouldn't read with them,  they didn't feel serious/nuanced enough.  Though I did like Ariel as Queen of Cups,  a girl willing to give up her voice in order to get her legs,  is a girl who needs to look at the costs of her dreams!)  

Why are Men struggling?

I read both the New York Times and the Washington Post most days and I'm astonished at how many articles I see about men,  and their struggles.  A  recent one,  by Shadi Hamid,  talked about how difficult it is to find a partner when religion matters to you and you want to raise your kids as Muslims,  which I found interesting. 

But in these articles,  and in threads,  it all seems that men have suddenly become overwhelmed.  Too many choices and yet they feel they are not chosen often enough; unwillingness to commit with an unwillingness to narrow their lives to this one choice.  It's like they can only draw  the seven of cups,  too many options leading to paralysis.  

What I tell everyone is that you can one cup, or I'll be super generous and give you two,  but you cannot have all the cups - and it's not personal,  it's not only you -  no one can have all the cups.  And to chose one means that others start to become less available. And we,  as a culture,  have to be okay with that.  I tell people you cannot be both a professional athlete and a brain surgeon.  The time constraints don't work.  So you have to chose one or the other. And yes,  you may always feel a twinge when you come into contact with the one you didn't chose,  but you can't have both.  

I think men,  who had the illusion of power for so long,  and now feel it ripped away by a myriad of cultural shifts,  can't chose.  And so they are struggling.

I guess I'm telling them to chose one,  commit to one,  cherish one and see what happens.  At least it's not paralysis,  at the very least it's a learning experience, and at the most,  it's a life changing/progressing one. 

The Secret of Kindness

I was talking about the kindness of strangers recently and my upset client asked what kindness! And I said,  sometimes you can help someone who you don't know and won't get to know - in the supermarket,  in the post office,  filling out a form,  and it's nothing for you but eases their day... and then sometimes someone will do it for you.  When you are stressed and tired and they smile and help and you feel,  wow,  there are humans out there after all.  

It's important to remember that everyone around us is living out their life,  like we are,  having good and bad days,  as we are,  and if we can help them,  and they can do the same for us,  it makes a real difference to our shared reality. 

Of course,  some days I'm sad, mad or anxious one,  unable to give kindness,  no one can do it every day.  But every day that I can,  is a better day for me. That's the secret of kindess - in the giving,  you get to feel better... 

Speaking of Poetry

Here is another poem that spoke to me

Pandemic

“What if you thought of it

as the Jews consider the Sabbath—

the most sacred of times?

Cease from travel.

Cease from buying and selling.

Give up, just for now,

on trying to make the world

different than it is.

Sing. Pray. Touch only those

to whom you commit your life.

Center down.

And when your body has become still,

reach out with your heart.

Know that we are connected

in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.

(You could hardly deny it now.)

Know that our lives

are in one another’s hands.

(Surely, that has come clear.)

Do not reach out your hands.

Reach out your heart.

Reach out your words.

Reach out all the tendrils

of compassion that move, invisibly,

where we cannot touch.

Promise this world your love–

for better or for worse,

in sickness and in health,

so long as we all shall live.”

– Lynn Ungar 3/11/20

Slowing down to the speed of life

It's a New York way of humble bragging,  to say how busy you are,  or to say how many things you have to do.  In a city of so many options,  it really is easy to fill every available moment with work or activity.  Sometimes it can be hard to find time to just sit and be.

One thing I love about tarot readings is that it is a dedicated hour - no other phone calls or texts intrude.  In fact,  I encourage people to record the readings and ask if they get lots of texts and if they do I tell them to put the phone on air plane mode,  as texts and calls,  even unanswered ones,  can disrupt the recording. 

So it's an hour without distractions,  where we just focus on you and your questions.   A lot of people tell me afterwards how nice it is to just give yourself the time to sit and think about things like if you are on the right path,  and if your actions are getting you the results you want.

How do the cards know?

Recently a client came to see me, whom I had not seen for several years.  Three years is a long time,  the old cards would no longer be relevant,  but I looked them up anyway (I used to make notes,  I now make a postcard of every reading,  photograph it and give it to you,  so you have a copy of all the cards you drew and so do I.) 

The old cards were all about work, she was at a career junction then.  This time, there were no work cards at all,  and she was ‘a little freaked’ in her own words,  to see the 3 of swords at her core,  and a scattering of swords throughout her reading.  How did the cards know?  she asked me.  Last time they were so sunny and optimistic about work (and accurate, she landed a great job) and now it’s all about heartache and pain, how did they know that? 

I said that’s what the cards do: they reflect your energy, where you are at right now.  People sometimes say to me,  well the cards will say that about anyone, and I say no,  if your love life is great, you draw great love cards,  if your work is awful your cards show that too.  The cards really do shift according to what is going on in your life at this point in time. 

For those worried about her future – she drew the Ace of Cups, the current relationship was no good,  but love is not far away for her!

Ace of Cups

Cups are the suit of hearts in modern day cards. So cups deal with matters of the heart. They are portrayed as cups, chalices, roses and hearts. As with all aces, the ace of cups is the distillation of what the cups can bring. The phrase that always comes to mind for me is ‘my cup runneth over’ an overwhelming amount of joy, creativity, feeling.


Cups are all about emotions and spirituality. The Ace is a card about new love, new life (often signifies wanted pregnancies) new spirituality. It’s a happy card about new emotional journeys and joy.


The inner child cards actually call their suit the hearts cards. Here you can see a heart become buoyant, floating on the energy of the Ace of Hearts.


I don’t do strict reversals but I do look at the shadow sides of cards. If we don’t appreciate the upwelling of luck and love and spirituality that this card usually brings, then we later might find ourselves crying over the waste of a special opportunity.