10 of Wands

Occasionally I use 2 decks in a reading,  to see if the cards echo each other.  It's astonishing how often they do. 

I had a reading and a woman was asking me if she should make a huge change in her life,  and pulled up the 10 of wands.

Where she is now,  she feels overwhelmed,  like she is pushing a rock up a hill and it rolls down and she pushes it up again and the same thing happens.  Like all that wonderful wands energy, instead of lifting her,  becomes her burden. 

So when we did the reading with my new Light Sears deck (just gorgeous!) she pulled out this card - 

Their version of the 10 of wands has a woman, looking like she is fleeing a bad situation,  with all her worldly possessions but completely alone.  And I looked at her.  If she does this big change,  she will lose her relationship.  Is she okay with that?  And she looked at me and sadly nodded,  knowing the cost,  but also knowing that what she is paying now is too much. 

Even if it's bad news,  the cards can help give clarity and help you see what you need and what is holding you back.  

Friendship and Money

It's funny how readings go in themes.  All of sudden 3 complete strangers come and talk to me about the same thing.    This week,  it's about friendship and money.  I had one of my brides (I often get brides, such a life changing moment,  they want to know that they are on the right track!) was upset that her best friends weren't prepared to invest as much in her wedding experience as she wanted.  

Destination weddings can be fun and glamorous,  but if your friend genuinely can't afford it, what do you do?

Then I had a woman in her 50's,  newly divorced,  who wanted to go and see all that was available in NYC,  go to some excellent restaurants,  go to some fabulous theatre,  see the opera - but her girlfriends were bailing out. 

And then a woman in her late 30's came to me,  worried about the cost of the baby sitter,  that just added upwards of $100 on an evening out. 

So the theme was friendship and money.  And the cost was having an honest conversation with our friends.   It can feel so awful to say,  we just can't afford to do  X,  whatever X is,  right now.  Or soften it with a 'we haven't budgeted for X this month,  perhaps next month.'  

But as with my client in her 50's found,  her friends just didn't want to spend so much money on her extravagances.  

I tell people they have to be sensitive to the financial realities of others,  and not judge them for not wanting to spend the same amount as you do on events you are creating.  So have the destination wedding,  but be aware that some people,  even close friends and family, just won't be able to come. And accept that with grace.  

And if you are finally free to go to all the expensive places you've wanted to see, perhaps invite your friends and say,  I'll treat this time, you chose the next, (or vica versa)  Or perhaps have an event night out less frequently and intersperse them with quiet nights in or simple diner dinners, so your friends can opt in or out in ways that work for them.

And finally,  sitters, reliable ones that play with your kids and make it so you can relax and be in the moment, well,  they do cost.  That conundrum beat a lot of parents that I saw in Tribeca when my kiddo was young.  We traded sleep overs a lot,  taking friends kids and then having them take ours,  so not only did we get a night out but a sleep in!  But I did that mainly with my friends who also had one child. Doing that with 2 or 3 kids,  that's much harder! 

What I do ask is for sensitivity.  Events can be important to you but out of the budget for others, even if it's only one night out, as I said to the plaintive bride,  they may not have $300 for that occasion as well as everything else. 

And if you are the one being asked to things you cannot afford,  find a way to say no that works for you.  There's nothing shameful about saying that's not in my budget right now,  and then just stopping.  No more excuses needed. 

How 'new' is the new boyfriend

A woman came in for her third reading with me.  I first met her 5 years ago and she was dating someone, let's call him Ian.  The cards never liked him.  She didn't like him all that much either,  but there are reasons people stay in relationships,  and it while was not great,  it was comfortable enough.

Finally,  on the third reading she came to tell me that they had broken up, he had moved out and she had meet someone new!  Let's call him Sam.

So he's richer, more accomplished, more together. Do the cards like him?

She drew Queen Pentacles Reversed / 7 swords / Devil.

Oh dear. 

When you draw the Devil card around your new relationship it often means that while the man is new,  the pattern is old - you are repeating old bad addictive patterns.

She turns herself upside down for her relationships,  her very fine Queen is reversed,  and the 7 of swords - the card of betrayal,  either he betrays her or she betrays herself and it all ends up with the Devil,  the same old song.  This is just Ian mark 2.

So we had a long discussion of what draws her to men,  what she finds attractive,  what pattern is repeating.  She sighed. She wasn't happy but she did agree with everything I and the cards said.  It was time to break the pattern,  let the attractive Devil go and look for someone she can just be herself with.

I hope she lets herself do that!