Lost Possible Selves

A favorite client of mine told me about this idea in psychology called ‘Lost Possible Selves’. 

Those are the selves you could have been but weren’t. The lives you could have led but didn’t — the people you didn’t marry, the jobs you didn’t take, the children you didn’t have. 

The idea is that as you age, your happiness and sense of serenity comes down to your relationship to these selves you might have been. Are you at peace with your choices and the places those choices took you? Are you grieving over the possible selves you lost? Coming to a resolution is a big part of what it means to not only be emotionally mature, but also to feel free.

I so agree with all of this.  Time to read more Tracy McMillan!

Tarot Fashion

I was reading one of my favorite blogs - Tom and Lorenzo -  and they had a page all about Christian Dior's Tarot Resort bags.  (Judgement is pictured above.)

When I googled it,  I came across Christian Dior's very pretty Tarot Pouches (which I liked better than the resort bags.)  Not that I will ever own any of these,  but I like how tarot is inspiring fashion... 

Wild Geese

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place

Just love her poetry!

What's your sign?

A friend,  who is newly single after 26 years,  went to a bar.  When a man asked her 'what's your sign?' she mumbled something and walked away.  But her daughter has prepared her for next time.  The young teens response : -  'My sign?  My sign is a stop sign! Stop right there!'

Isn't that the most perfect response?  Where was she in 1988?  Right, not born yet... why didn't I think of that answer for myself? I had to wait for a 14 year old to tell it to her mom,  to tell me... 

FAQ

The other day I did a reading (via skype,  she shuffled her deck and drew the cards,  I watched from the other side of the planet and interpreted for her) and this question came up:

Is Milo as into the relationship as I am?

And she drew

3 Cups Reversed / 4 Cups Reversed / 8 of Wands

The good news is - he's not evil,  he's not being unfaithful,  he's not betraying her, he's not a bad egg.  The bad news - he's not as into the relationship by any definition - she gives it more joy and thought  (3 cups R) ,  attempting to will/dream it into something more than it is (4 cups R)  but it's all sticks in the wind,  (8 wands) it is not coalescing or growing into something more sturdy.  

And she nodded vigorously.  It's confusing to her,  because he isn't a bad guy,  and he is funny and sweet,  but it's not growing,  he's completely happy to keep dating but doesn't want it to get any deeper and she thinks I'm right,  it will be all sticks in the wind,  it's feeling pretty damn breezy now.  

I often get variations of this question and the cards are usually pretty spot on  in their response. 

Why the Prophets are Human

In my last tarot reading I quoted a Rumi poem - Rumi is a Sufi poet who rhapsodizes over Spirituality and love, but the poem I was recalling was more prosaic than that - it was about why the Prophets are human -

A Woman came to Ali, "My baby has crawled out
on the roof near the water drain,  where I cannot go.
He won't listen to me.  I talk to him,
but he doesn't understand language.

I make gestures.  I show him my breast,
but he turns away.  What can I do?"

Take another baby his age
up to the roof."

The woman did so,  and her child saw his friend
and crawled away from the edge.

The prophets are human for this reason,
that we may see them and delight
in the friendly presence
and crawl away from the downsprout.

(Mathnawi, IV, 2657-2669)

We were talking in the reading about how much do you have to know,  how self evolved do you have to be,  before you can help others.  And I said,  you can't be too far from the person,  you can't lead from 100 miles away,  it's easier to follow if you are only a foot or so ahead.  So as we are now, today,  we can help others,  because we are close to them,  close to the struggle. 

We don't have to know all the answers,  we only have to be a foot or two ahead;  and we can be over taken,  and helped ourselves.  It's much easier that way,  than chasing a perfection a hundred miles down the road... 

Nostalgia

I've been chasing this version for years.  I first heard this song in the 70's,  when my parents bought the original album.  It's haunted me ever since.  

I've heard Leonard Cohen sing it,  I've heard many others,  but this is the version that I heard first,  and like an imprinted duckling,  this is the one that holds true for me.   And then we moved and the record was misplaced and I hadn't heard it in years (decades!)  I've done the occasional search for it,  but never found it again. 

And then today, not even looking for it,  I finally found a perfect version of it on you tube.  Happy day! So I'm sharing my serendipitous find with you... 

I came across this on a forum I like,  and I've definitely been there - so I am sharing it with you,  because knowing that other people have been there too, makes the journey far easier! 

Relax
Ellen Bass

Bad things are going to happen.
Your tomatoes will grow a fungus
and your cat will get run over.
Someone will leave the bag with the ice cream
melting in the car and throw
your blue cashmere sweater in the drier.
Your husband will sleep
with a girl your daughter’s age, her breasts spilling
out of her blouse. Or your wife
will remember she’s a lesbian
and leave you for the woman next door. The other cat—
the one you never really liked—will contract a disease
that requires you to pry open its feverish mouth
every four hours for a month.
Your parents will die.
No matter how many vitamins you take,
how much Pilates, you’ll lose your keys,
your hair and your memory. If your daughter
doesn’t plug her heart
into every live socket she passes,
you’ll come home to find your son has emptied
your refrigerator, dragged it to the curb,
and called the used appliance store for pick up—drug money.
There’s a Buddhist story of a woman chased by a tiger.
When she comes to a cliff, she sees a sturdy vine
and climbs halfway down. But there’s also a tiger below.
And two mice—one white, one black—scurry out
and begin to gnaw at the vine. At this point
she notices a wild strawberry growing from the crevice.
She looks up, down, at the mice.
Then she eats the strawberry.
So here’s the view, the breeze, the pulse
in your throat. Your wallet will be stolen, you’ll get fat,
slip on the bathroom tiles of a foreign hotel
and crack your hip. You’ll be lonely.
Oh taste how sweet and tart
the red juice is, how the tiny seeds
crunch between your teeth.

Celtic Cross

I've been reading the cards for years now,  and I always start the same way - with a cold reading of the Celtic Cross.   In my skype readings,  I still make you shuffle the cards - that's where the magic lies for me.  So you have to have your own deck - either borrowed from a friend,  or one that you own,  and you shuffle it while we speak and then I direct you how to lay out the cards.

Basically we will build this shape: -

We start with the circle,  with the cross and a circle of cards around it,  and then have the staff grow along side it.  

After drawing 10 cards,  I then have the 'cold reading' - where I don't know anything about the situation (or you,  if it's our first reading) and just tell you what the cards tell me. Basically I do all the talking for the first 5 to 7 minutes.  Then you tell me what resonated the most for you,  what needs more unpacking, how accurate you feel the cold reading was.

Then I can answer any questions you may have.  Usually I can do 4-5 questions in an hour reading,  depending on how fast we talk.  Some people power through to seven questions,  some people are satisfied with exploring one. 

Usually after the reading I direct you to further explore one card or image,  to keep it around you (as a phone cover page,  by your computer,  in your wallet) to allow the energy of that card to remain around you.

Looking forward to reading for you,

warmly

Liat