Friday, January 29, 2016

Often you know the answers, but still you need to hear it

Saw a girl the other day,  well not a girl,  she came to me on her 35th birthday, bringing two best friends to listen on the reading.

She asked about a man she had been dating for two years and drew
2 cups R,  5 of swords,  7 of swords

And I looked at her sorrowfully and said,  oh honey,  he's not good for you.   He is not returning your affections,  your love card is reversed and then you have both the betrayal cards,  he is stealing your swords and making you feel bad about yourself,  and misbehaving towards you.

Her friends looked at her triumphantly,  apparently I had passed the test.   Then she told me she had just broken up with him but she should have done it two years ago.  When they first started dating she had hoped he would be 'the one'.  But when the conversation moved to exclusivity he refused and she let him.   No wonder there were all those swords.   He was never 'unfaithful' because he never promised fidelity but that is such a slippery argument.  She agreed that she should have broken up with him there and then,  but somehow stayed in the relationship for another two years before realizing it was going no where.   We discussed setting better boundaries and listening to people's words, especially if their actions follow suite! If they tell you they are not ready or willing to have an exclusive relationship,  and you want one,  you have to realize that you are not going to get one with them.

She said she knew everything I had just told her,  and I said 'yes,  and then a stranger with 78 pieces of cardboard could tell you it,  without knowing a thing about you!  Next time listen to yourself better.'  She sighed ruefully and promised she would try.  She said she felt affirmed in her decision to stop seeing him. Sometimes we want something so badly,  we lose sight of what we are compromising in order to hold on to it.

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