Blog pieces

In September I wrote two blogs back to back  - one on mismatched sex drives,  and one on sleeplessness.  And the sleeplessness one out performed the sex one by 2:1

Made me smile.  Clearly we need more sleep before we can think about getting more sex! 

Lily Allen

 I saw Lily Allen once in NYC,  and she was great.  I love her witty,  wordy songs and sly light tunes.   I lost track of her a while ago,  and didn't give it much thought,  but now her new album is out  - West End Girl,  it's so strong and real, raging and present, and achingly sad.  

Madeline is just a brutally honest, angst filled,  beautiful song and as I listen to it, I just think,  honey,  you should have left him the first time you had doubts.  This just drove you crazy!  Clearly open marriages are complicated things,  and once trust is gone,  there isn't much there holding it together. 

Hope she feels better after getting this all off her chest.  I wish her joy and simplicity.  

What a wonderful idea!

So there's this ap,  where you can write yourself an email and select a future date,  and it will send you that email on that date.  So you are in today,  writing to future you.  It's called FutureMe. 

Also, you can nominate the letter be published on their site,  public but anonymous. So that's a fun rabbit hole to fall into.

 I just love this idea!  

You can look at what was so important for you 5 years ago,  and see where it sits with you today.  And I hope you can see how far you've come. 

What about the readings that don't work?

Someone said to me that all my reports on my readings are positive,  and why don't I comment on the negative ones?  And I said,  well the negative ones don't usually give me any feedback,  I don't see them again,  so I don't know where or how I went wrong.   I have read for many people only once.  I don't know if it didn't work for them or worked so well that the issue was resolved!  Of course some people expect real magic,  when all they are getting is discussions of the here and now and lots of people want to know 'when' something is going to happen to them without doing the work to get it. So those people are definitely going to be disappointed by any reading. 

I think one thing I have learnt is the more I manage my expectations,  the happier I am - in Tarot but also in life. 

I have had readings where my clients have been disappointed with the outcomes they drew.  That's not at all unusual.  But then the reading is all about how to change the outcome (hard work,  changing what you are doing,  moving out of your comfort zone.) If you don't want to do all the hard work, then it's not going to change.  And that is annoying and disappointing.  I get it.  I've lived it myself.  

Even with Tarot,  even with Magic, there is a limit to the shortcuts you can take.  If you are not getting what you want in life,  there are two questions - are your wants reasonable?  Are you doing all you can to make them happen?  I remember when I was struggling with infertility - all I wanted was a baby.  A completely reasonable want.  Most humans can have a baby if they want.  And I  had done all I could,  been to specialists,  had procedures.  And still the baby didn't come.  After seven long years (such a biblical number!) I finally gave in.  No baby.  So if not a mother,  then what was I going to do?  And about 6 months later,  with no treatment,  I became pregnant.  One miracle child. When people asked me if I would try for more,  I said,  I would take all the miracles I could,  but I wasn't going to chase any of them.  So I've had just the one,  and he was enough for our family. 

Sometimes you have to let go before something can arrive (and isn't that a hideous life lesson to learn!)  sometimes you have to jump the fences and try everything.  Tarot helps you to see which approach will help you more at this point in time. 

Chat GPT

I have had so many discussions about Chat GPT or AI generally lately,  it's astonishing.  Very much in the zeitgeist.   And while I have used AI generated images (my post for Pan Narrans was only AI plays on paintings)  I've never used it for writing or editing my blog pieces.  

I find there's something bland or featureless about the AI summaries.  If I read the AI summary for all the product reviews,  it just feels like mush.  I still don't get a sense of why the product is good or not (Most people liked using X,  a few commented that it didn't work as well after a few months,  but most people didn't have that problem. - meaningless!) I love reading the quirky reviews which sound like a friend has written it - OMG,  I used this knife on a picnic and I will use no other ever again.. - comments like that,  vivid, personal often funny but even serious ones that give you a sense of why someone did something and how - that AI can't capture - yet. 

I would caution against too much AI in important documents - for example some people are writing cover letters for job interviews entirely by AI and I think they sound both bland and insincere.  Of course,  the first read through is by AI - so it has to have all the key words the computer wants,  but when the final 5 or so get to a human - then it has to have something that would catch a human's eye.  By no means a simple feat! 

Just a warning - just as you can sense that something has been written by AI,  so someone can sense something you have presented is also AI.  While it's still in its teething stage, make sure you cast a stern eye over anything you ask it to write! 

Saying of the week

I love this saying and use it often:

If you want to go fast,  go alone.  If you want to go far,  go together

It is so much easier and faster to do things by yourself.  But if you always doing things by yourself,  it can get exhausting and lonely.  We can do it for a bit,  but I certainly couldn't do it for long.

To get far,  you need some support,  you need people on the journey with you.  So find your tribe,  and get going!

(of course finding your tribe can be a whole 'nother story. I'll do a seperate blog about that,  in the meantime you can read this one about friendship.)

Crying and feeling healed

I'm meandering through the internet,  as I often do.  I have a big family event on soon and am taking a break from the relentless planning and doing.  It's all on my shoulders,  as things often are of late.  So I'm a little resentful,  even though the event will be wonderful.

So I'm reading a bit here and there and come across this column from Dear Sugar: The Obliterated Space,  written in 2012. 

And now I'm crying,  and I'm emptied from my petty resentments and I'm aware of things much bigger than me, much better than I'll ever be,  and I'm comforted and hurting and in pain and calmer. 

The article is about grief around death - for one a mother who only lived to 45 and the other a son who only lived to 22. So be prepared for that.  So you'll cry.  But it's also beautiful.  What do we do with pain and grief and rage and loss and how do we live with it.  It's like a soft acid bath that burns away the dross and leaves you with gold.  

This is what the internet is really for - for reaching out and connecting and seeing situations and people in new lights,  seeing yourself in a new light.