He loved her so much, and then he just left....

A women in her 50's came to me.  She had divorced about five years ago and then last year an old boyfriend from high school reached out to her,  via facebook.  It was absolutely magical for about 4 months,  but then he said it couldn't go forward and more or less ghosted her.  She was devastated and came to me to get some clarity.   

We talked about love bombing,  and the seduction but also the unreality of it.  We talked about how he had set up standards that were so high,  he could never continue meet them,  and so then ran away.  And no one person can be everything,  it's too big an ask.  We need to diversify and get our needs met from a variety of people,  not just The One.  

I gave her one of my favorite Ester Perel talks, it's about the first 20 minutes of the video. 

She loved it so much,  she asked me to share it more broadly,  so I told her I would share it on my blog.  If you can't get to see me,  you can still  hear this...  (also,  there are loads more Ester Perel talks about there,  so you can find plenty more.)  And if you want to talk one on one about your situation,  send me an email and we'll set up a reading. 

Typical Questions

The way I do a reading,  I start with a cold reading,  where I don't know you or your story,  or if you are a client I've read for previously,  I don't know what's going on in your life just now.  I do the Celtic Cross layout and tell you what I see. 

But after that discussion,  you have the chance to ask questions.

A while ago a client asked about a man she had been seeing for about a year - is it real? Does he really want a relationship.

She drew 5 cups / 4 cups / 7 swords.

We both looked at the images sadly.  No, it's not real. She feels sad,  she's dreaming, making it bigger than it is,  he is stealing her swords and she will feel betrayed.  

And she said she actually felt relieved.  She had been putting effort in,  and now she feels that her intuition that he hasn't been reciprocating is validated.  She can now develop a plan of action,  have some serious discussions,  and then,  if he doesn't want to move forward,  she can walk away.  But she doesn't want her swords stolen,  and she doesn't want to be the one doing all the heavy lifting.

It's rare that the cards tell you something you don't know at all.  Instead,  they help clarify and consolidate your situation by making explicit what you suspected.