Soulmates

I was reading an article about a new TV show called Soulmates and it reminded me of many conversations I've had.

People often come to tarot readings to ask about love.  But some people want more than that,  some people want Soul Mates.   I and warn them,  soulmates is not what you think it is,  soulmates teach you a soul life lesson.  It can be a great lesson in trust and affection and faith.  Or it can be a devastating or difficult lesson -  how we fool ourselves, how to see ourselves with true clarity.  

Soulmates connect on a soul level,  but if you are not in touch with your soul's desires,  or if you are actively going against your soul's desires,  then meeting a soulmate can be a difficult life lesson.

I read for so many bright,  attractive,  funny women who tell me there are few men out there (pre covid,  when it was easier to meet them)  And then one day I did a reading for a bright,  sensitive funny man who told me that there are no women out there. And I said,  no,  you're wrong,  I could introduce you to plenty (I have worked at a dating agency,  and once a matchmaker,  always a matchmaker)  But he said,  I'm a middle school teacher on a fixed income of $65,000,  and I knew that many of my bright funny women wanted a man who at least earnt six figures,  and maybe even high six figures,  and would not want to meet him.  

A man earning high six figures (or a woman with a model face and figure) is not a soul mate.  They are fantasy.  And that fantasy can be dangerous.  It can stop you from connecting with love because they don't look like what you expected,  or earn what you would like.  Sometimes your soulmate comes into your life to teach you that you are on the wrong path,  but in the learning of the lesson,  they leave...   

So ask for love,  ask for connection.  But don't ask for fantasies and don't ask for perfection,  because even if you get it,  it may be what you want,  but it won't be what you need... 

Finding A Way

I recently did a reading where a woman sadly noted to me that all her plans of what to do during  her enforced Covid slowdown were not coming to fruition.  She was not setting up her new blog, not reading all the articles she wanted to,  not exercising daily.  Despite the slowdown she was still feeling stressed. 

I know we often have high ideals for ourselves,  but this is a really tough time for a lot of us,  and it's easy  lose initiative.  I reminded her of her strengths and then suggested writing lists and just going through them.  I'm a great list gal,  if it's on my list it will get done, Perhaps not on the first day,  but certainly by the end of the week! 

I also recommended a book that I had read a long time ago but still works for me - Julia Cameron's,  The Artist's Way. 

I found this book when it first came out - I just realized that was in 1992!  But it was huge then and is still helpful now.  So if you are feeling a bit stuck,  It's a book I'm happy to recommend. 

Should I let someone listen in on my reading?

When I do my readings IRL - in real life - people often bring someone - close friend, sibling, parent, lover, to hear the readings with them or to take turns and listen to each other's readings. 

A reading can be a lot of information, and having someone to mull it over with afterwards can be really helpful. And then they also get to see the magic of the cards for each other, as each one gets specific cards that make sense just for them! So if you are considering having a reading with a friend, it can be great to have another pair of ears.  

In the time of Covid,  it has happened less, but a recent reading she was at home in her studio apartment,  so her partner being present was unavoidable.  I told them both that they needed at least an hour a day apart,  and they should go for walks separately to give each other some psychic space.  They both agreed that that was a good idea.  

I also warn people, readings can be very intimate events so make sure they are someone you want to share your secrets with!  Her reading was all about work,  the relationship was good,  even after the intense togetherness! 

Love Kernels

I did a reading a while ago (but still in time of Covid) and a woman was telling me about her relationship with a man who she was not living with and due to the current circumstances could not see.  He would respond to her every third or fourth text,  never initiate but never say no either.  

And I said,  you are living on Love Kernels,  from Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  She didn't know it,  so I sent her this:



Later she wrote to me and said you are so right!  My god I thought I was the only one and here's a whole song about it.  

She's not the only one... 

Searching for Justice

For the past four years I've been doing the majority of my readings on line.  The way I read,  you have to shuffle the cards,  so people use their own decks.   In my recent readings,  with everyone using a separate deck,  so it's not a issue of shuffling,  the Justice card (or Justice Reversed,  even more pertinent) has show up disproportionately. 


The Justice card is often about a sense of fairness.  of things working out justly.  Pulling Justice into today's world  I interpreted as a sense of desiring fairness or justice,  or of things being not fair. Which is completely accurate.  Things are not fair.  Good work is not necessarily being rewarded,  chance encounters can lead to contagion,  life is strange.

In ordinary days when people are searching for fairness,  I warn them that life is not fair.  In fact,  living in the first world,  with running water and electricity,  we are so far ahead in the fairness stakes we are already on the wrong side of that ledger.  So instead of wanting fairness,  I tell people to seek balance.  If life isn't fair,  and you feel powerless,  then the next day you wake up and life is still unfair and what can you do?  But if your life is not balanced - then there you have some power.  You can redress the balances,  give more energy to one section,  take it away from another,  You have the power to allocate how to balance your time and energy and then the burning sense of requiring Justice can ease a little.

One client had three separate readings using three different decks over a three year period. .  As I was looking over his notes,  I realized that in each reading,  he had pulled the Justice card.  So then we had another conversation about what that card means to him personally,  as well as being part of the ether now.  Tarot is both general and deeply personal.  And if you do readings over time,  you can get to deeper insights too.

The Cards know best

Every so often people say to me,  it's not the cards,  it's just you - your judgement, your opinion,  your insight.  And I say no.  Because I'm reading all the time,  I can see it more clearly,  but the cards definitely know more than me about any given situation.  

I can think of hundreds of examples.  The woman who said what's going on in my relationship and the cards said,  he's a good person,  but he's just not there for you. And she said,  I knew it,  on paper he's the one but we're just not connecting and it's a relief to say that after everyone else tells me it should work.  Or the woman who drew the Devil card when discussing her relationship and we both looked at it and she sighed and said he really is the devil for me!  Or the guy who gave me three job options and the cards chose job B,  the secure job with benefits rather than Job A,  the start up (and I'm glad I didn't know which was which,  so he couldn't accuse me of being too conservative!) 

If you ask a question and me and the cards disagree,  I'll always give the cards opinion.  After all,  I'm just a person,  but the cards are reading you,  and if you look clearly,  you do always know best. 

Good days and Bad days

So I've been having good days and bad days.  Good days I genuinely count my blessings of which there are plenty.  But the bad days - they creep up. For five days I needed to buy groceries and couldn't make myself leave the house.   I actually opened the shelf long life milk I had bought early in the pandemic  to tide us over.  (It's weirdly creamy)  

And then,  yesterday,  I got out of bed,  did 3 loads of washing and went shopping for food. There is now milk and eggs in the fridge.  And to my huge relief,  the supermarkets in Sydney are edging back towards normal.  The price of fresh produce has gone up enormously - but that's because of the bush fires late last year impacting us. One thing this year has brought home to me is how connected we are to the land,  and how when we lose connection,  when we disregard the land,  that's when devastation can arise.

So if you are having a bad day,  be kind to yourself,  and if you are having a good day,  do your washing.  I am still writing lists, as I find myself more forgetful than usual,  when the fog as I call it, comes and sits on my head.  

But yesterday I played scrabble with a friend (appropriately socially distanced)  and life felt more ordinary and thus so much better (and she put down an 8 letter word! Hamsters!  84 points!!)