Good days and Bad days

So I've been having good days and bad days.  Good days I genuinely count my blessings of which there are plenty.  But the bad days - they creep up. For five days I needed to buy groceries and couldn't make myself leave the house.   I actually opened the shelf long life milk I had bought early in the pandemic  to tide us over.  (It's weirdly creamy)  

And then,  yesterday,  I got out of bed,  did 3 loads of washing and went shopping for food. There is now milk and eggs in the fridge.  And to my huge relief,  the supermarkets in Sydney are edging back towards normal.  The price of fresh produce has gone up enormously - but that's because of the bush fires late last year impacting us. One thing this year has brought home to me is how connected we are to the land,  and how when we lose connection,  when we disregard the land,  that's when devastation can arise.

So if you are having a bad day,  be kind to yourself,  and if you are having a good day,  do your washing.  I am still writing lists, as I find myself more forgetful than usual,  when the fog as I call it, comes and sits on my head.  

But yesterday I played scrabble with a friend (appropriately socially distanced)  and life felt more ordinary and thus so much better (and she put down an 8 letter word! Hamsters!  84 points!!) 

Dreaming in a time of Corona

I've been having strange anxiety dreams lately.  I was desperately trying to get a train ticket to Bath (in the UK.)  I was lucky because when the ticket seller told me I'd have to bribe him to get the information I needed,  I said this just doesn't happen! Then in the dream I realized I was dreaming and woke myself up.  Yay for expectations of incorruptibility of British Rail.

But all joking aside,  even if your own life is going well enough,  these are trying times and anxiety can manifest in sneaky ways.  Everyone I speak to is overeating (me too!) Many are stress baking (me too!)  Some of us are exercising with YouTube videos (me occasionally.) 

But I am also consciously listing what I am grateful for.  We were watching the news and the some people devastated by the Australian bush fires late last year don't have a home to shelter in.  Of course,  knowing that people are genuinely worse off than you doesn't always help,  hence dreaming of trying to get to civilized Bath and finding that you can't there for love or money...  

If you are stressing,  remember to be kind to yourself.  And please try to walk outside (maintaining strict distance from others!) to let some wind blow through your hair.  Read, find ways to move,  nurture yourself and those around you.  Be kind and this too shall pass...