Life Skills

Everyone has something that they find easy,  that other people find hard.  But skills are transferable.  

I was dreadful with food for many years,  eating my feelings and under exercising.  But I was always great with money,  feeling satisfied with staying within my budget and smug when I got things on sale.  There were years where the only things I bought full price were groceries. 

And I met these gorgeous,  thin,  smart young women coming for Tarot Readings,  who were really dreadful with money.  They could control and motivate themselves effortlessly around food and exercise,  but they had no self control around expenditures. 

And I said,  these are the same skills.  The skills that make you not eat a full bar of chocolate,  you can transfer that attitude to shopping.  It was so eye opening for me (sometimes I actually take my own advice!)   It really helped me with food. I began saying to myself, it's costs too much,  thinking about how many calories were in a dessert.

And I'd encourage the girls to look at the shoes and work out much they were paying on interest to get them, and declare them too fattening!  I made a lot of girls laugh with that line,  and then stop and think.  I still get feedback to this day from some of my clients that that idea really helped them. 

Sometimes it feels hard to be Grateful

I love Thanksgiving.  A festival that involves food,  is non-denominational, gets friends and family together around the theme of Gratitude?  It's like it was made for me!

But sometimes we have so much going on,  or things are so not going our way,  that it can be hard to celebrate. It can feel like one more task,  one more demand.  And our family may not appreciate our efforts,  or rush off early to another commitment,  or watch TV and not talk. 

And I think we need to hold space for both - for the chance to honor Gratitude and the emotional cost of putting on events that may not be appreciated. 

One client came to me and told me that she hated Thanksgiving because her mother used to do it all,  and now that her mother can't,  it has become her job and it's just too much.  Even with other family reluctantly bringing a dish,  even with her kids dragooned into helping, it's too much work.  

So make it less work,  I said.  Don't do 12 different dishes.  Do only what works for you,  have a potluck,  go to a restaurant,  change it all together.  But do do something that allows for a sense of gratitude.  It's the feeling,  not the food that is important.  If no one can make it on the day,  then have it the weekend before,  or the Saturday after.  

This year we are having a Friendsgiving on Sunday.   Everyone is bringing something.  I had over committed myself,  and then realized I couldn't do that much.  My friend graciously rang me and said,  I know you're going through a lot,  my son's friend will make the pies.  I felt such relief!  I'm doing brussel sprouts and asparagus,  I'm meeting with good friends and their extended families.  It's been a tough year,  but I am letting myself be grateful...