Dealing with Clutter

I know,  I know,  it's some new twenty first century phenomenon.  Our great grandparents crossed continents with two sea trunks,  and we have so much stuff... everywhere!  So if you have too much,  and feel overwhelmed,  number one,  you are not alone in this!

And I know all the good questions - does it spark joy?  will you use it in the next 3 years?  Is it easily replaceable?

And I know and offer all the good suggestions - do a drawer a week,  nothing more than that but do it every week.  Write lists and follow through,  start with a space that really matters to you (around the computer,  makeup shelf,  coat closet - something that bugs you now.) Give your stuff to charity,  it's not trashing it,  it's giving it to someone in need.  Photograph it, collate it,  organize it.. 

And still,  sometimes you are just drowning in stuff.

I am lucky.  I've changed countries 4 times so I'm quite streamlined.  My one strong suggestion is put nothing into storage,  if it can live 10 miles from you,  you don't need it.  

Whatever you do,  just don't keep drowning in it.  One step at a time,  and a year later,  the place is cleaned.  Whenever I put my summer wardrobe in plastic boxes and bring my winter wardrobe out,  I go through my clothes,  the old,  the tired,  the tatty,  I let them go.   

So find a habit that works for you,  and just start.  I know,  this isn't the instant solution people want  (though I do know people who have hired declutterers to help them go through a room and be ruthless on their behalf. So if you are drowning,  you can get someone to help you.) But if you are doing it on your own,  it's a marathon, not a sprint,  give yourself time and breaks to get it done. 

Telling your truth

One thing I always recommend to people is to speak their truth.   You don't have to tell the whole truth to people,  but don't lie.  

If I am feeling depressed and anxious and sad,  and the cashier at the supermarket asks "how are you?"  I say "tired."  Not the whole truth,  but a truth.  And often I would get a slip of the mask and a human looks back at me and they answer "God, me too!"  And even that bit of congruence makes me feel more real,  more connected.

So it's not that I have to tell all my secrets to the universe,  or be rude or even say things that make me feel over exposed.  It's just that I have to be congruent.  And that really does help. 

When I first came to NYC,  way back in 2002,  I had a really rough first year,  which is not uncommon for people coming to such a busy, humming place.   I felt lost and isolated.  In the middle of the worst of it,  I just began saying things that were true - even at parties.  How are you?  I'm feeling lost and overwhelmed, I would reply.  I can't tell you how many people said,  oh,  the first year is the worst,  and shared their experiences.  And it got better.  Me being real,  allowed others to be real and that helped ground me. 

So speak a truth,  doesn't have to be all of it,  but whatever you say has to be real,  even if it's "I don't have the bandwidth for that right now." which I have found myself saying from time to time. 

Being congruent helps.