4 of pentacles vs 9 of Cups

I'm finding I'm explaining these 2 cards,  the 4 of pentacles and the 9 of cups,  again and again to people lately. I really feel we are living in a world exploiting our feelings of not enoughness,  feeding our dissatisfactions, wanting our envy.

I came across this anecdote:  At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its whole history. Heller responds, “Yes, but I have something he will never have … the knowledge that I have enough."

And it seems to me that the super rich right now have no idea what enough looks like.  And the world of instagram and trad wives and holidays abroad are all about needing more, exploiting the feeling of the 4 of pentacles,  where our financial needs and wants hang over us. We feel tight for money,  tight for time,  tight. 

And what we want,  what we should all be striving for is the 9 of cups,  the card I call the fat and happy card,  where you don't have everything,  but you have that most special of all things,  enough.  You are content with what you have.  There may be a cup or two missing,  but you don't let that spoil the cups that you have.  You let yourself have joy with what comes your way,  and let yourself be rich in the ways of Joseph Heller,  and know that you have enough.

That's my blessing to all of us,  may we know the value of what we have,  and let us feel contentment. 

saying of the week

Sometimes someone says something to me in passing during a reading,  and I have to stop them and repeat it so both of us could hear it properly,  and I know I will be saying it to others. 

I spoke with a young woman recently and she quoted to me something her mother often says - Just because you could be doing more, doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough - and I thought, what a wise,  wise mother!

Let's just sit with that for a moment.  We could always being doing more in this culture,  but here is a breath of calm wisdom - just because we could be doing more,  doing mean that we are doing isn't enough.  It's a version of my oft quoted don't let the perfect get in the way of the good,  but it's another way of looking at it and it unlocked something in me to hear it,  so I'm sharing it with you... 

Modern Wedding Vows

I never wanted to write my own vows.  We had a traditional wedding and I don't think either of us said very much.  But the weddings I am going to now are much more eclectic. I think there's a power in the traditional words, but then I came across this one:

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself.

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.

You cannot command me, for I am a free person.

But I shall serve you in those ways you require,

And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night,

And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.

I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup.

I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care.

I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.

I shall not slander you, nor you me.

I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in

Private and tell no strangers our grievances.

This is my wedding vow to you

This is the marriage of equals.

By Morgan Llywelyn

Isn't that amazing!  That sounds like a relationship worth celebrating! I'd love to go to a wedding where they said those vows. 

All my readings are virtual

I lived in NYC for 15 years.  I moved to Sydney but my old clients kept wanting readings. What could I do?

For me,  the substance of the tarot reading is the cards that you draw,  from a deck that you have shuffled.  I cannot shuffle for you.  I've tried,  but I can't get clear readings from it.

So how was I to do my readings from across the ocean?  I asked my regulars to get their hands on a tarot deck - it didn't matter which one,  as long at it was a full 78 cards (some of the fancier ones have fewer cards and I can't make sense of them either.)  But if you are buying one specifically,  I recommend the Rider Waite Smith Radiant.  It's pretty and easy to read.  Then,  they could shuffle and do the first layout.  And I could do the rest. 

So now most of my clients are in the US,  though I have done readings for people in Europe and elsewhere as well.  You get to sit in the quiet and comfort of your own home,  and you get to the shuffle the cards.

We start with the Celtic Cross Layout

And then I can answer 3-4 questions depending on how fast we talk!

I also recommend that people record these readings. If you don't want it, then you can just delete it,  but if you do want it,  I can't always recall the exact sentence I said to you.  I've had people who never listen, and people who've relistened so often that I can hear my own phrases when they talk to me.  Either way is good, what works for you is what matters.  

Drawing good cards

Had a funny moment with a client the other day.  

She is having difficulties with her ex husband and co parent, and wanted to know more about it. Her ex and his new girlfriend and expecting a new child and she is worried about how that will impact their son,  who is six.  But the cards show he will continue to engage with his son,  which she is ambivalent about.  But we both acknowledged that it's healthier for children to have both parents involved in their lives,  and it's never good to push the father away.  

She drew mainly positive cards around the situation and seemed annoyed that the cards were rosier than she felt. 

I said to her that sometimes anxieties can feel overwhelming in the moment,  but the cards are saying that big picture,  things are going to be okay.   Whilst she feels like the Page of  Swords reversed today,  her outcome was the Queen of Pentacles - grounded,  down to earth and doing well financially.

She took that onboard and said she felt better after the reading... 

Life is a garden

I hate the garden metaphor!  I don't want life to be a garden.  I wanted life to be a marble statue,  once you had actually finished the difficult and terrible work,  and cleaned up all that dusty mess,  it would stay,  perfect,  in shape and timeless for centuries.  I want a Michelangelo statue of life. 

But life is a garden.  Endlessly growing and changing. You plant something,  it thrives,  you are happy.  You plant exactly the same plant,  in a slightly shadier corner,  and it dies.  You clean it, it's gorgeous.  You go away for a weekend and it's full of debris and two new plants - are they weeds that need to be uprooted or are the new plants that will give joy and beauty? And who decides which?

I hate gardening.  To me it's endless work and repetition.  But I love having friends.  I don't find the tending of friendships endless work.  I don't find our conversations repetition.  So in some cases,  I can garden.  I can even look after my dog,  who is a source of such joy for me.  I don't enjoy the cleaning up after him,  but it's a small price that I am willing to pay. 

So life is a garden (sorry!)  But in this garden, you get to decide what you are going to plant,  which plants matter and how often you need to weed/clean.  While I love an elegant French garden,  I think I'm just going to settle in to my wild English garden and relax... 

Failure to Launch

My latest readings have had the same difficult theme.  Mother's coming to a tarot reading, not to talk about themselves,  but to talk about their anxieties for their young adult children.  Kids either not going to college,  just out of college and not looking for jobs,  or looking furiously for jobs,  but not finding them as their degrees start to get stale. 

It's a crazy market out there right now.  I've talked to people about finding jobs and career paths for over 30 years and this is one of the stickiest, worst markets I've seen.  The combination of AI,  world events and post Covid anxiety,  means that many young adults are failing to launch.  And their worried parents come from such a different vantage point,  that most of their advice is no help at all. 

So we talk about executive skills,  we talk about finding work mentors.  We talk about the unspoken reality that a parents contacts can be one of the biggest levers a new graduate can access.  It's really,  really hard to get a job from the internet.  At the very least,  they need some sort of contact within the company or the field.  And luck.  It's not enough to have a degree right now.  They also need some random luck to get them in the door.  And we all know that luck is fickle and unreliable. 

I will warn them that most advice is outdated right now,  because AI is changing things as we speak,  and anyone who says they are an expert on the job market,  well they may have been an expert last week,  but this week conditions have changed.

I tell people to get their resumes looked at by a specialist,  who can put the right keywords in it.  I will also tell them to get their kids into as many networking events as possible (I know, it's effortless for some people and a horror show for others.)  And I tell the adults to look to their own network,  to see if they can get some help there. 

But just knowing that the difficulties are real,  their young adults are not exaggerating,  it's really weird out there, that can help.  I don't have a quick and easy answer,  but it is a numbers game and you have to keep slogging through,  till you get the response you want.  Also,  the first job may not be a perfect one,  but it's better than no job,  and it gets you into the world of work and from there,  you can keep looking.  

And we look for the Ace of Pentacles,  a yes to work and money,  and hope that it appears!

So one of my clients reached out after I published and recommended this book.  I haven't read it, but she rates it highly - Failure to Launch by Mark McConville   I'm always happy to take recommendations.  I hope this one helps!