Different energy levels

Did a tarot reading for a woman who had just had a holiday weekend with her brother and his kids,  and it was relentless.  No naps,  no breaks,  just non stop fun/activities/ action for two days.  At the end,  she and her husband and two kids were wrecked.  She said to me,  she felt like she is failing.  She would never do that many activities on a normal break.  And she could tell,  by her nephews actions,  that this was all regular for them. 

I said people and families really do have different energy levels.  And maybe a family with 3 boys,  8 - 12,  just knows that if they don't run them ragged,  there will be tears before bedtime. (that strikes me as a very Australian phrase,  though I'm sure you know what I mean.)

Anyways,  people,  families,  groups have different energy levels and the trick is to make sure your family, person,  group is running at its optimum level and not comparing it to other groups.  This is from someone who when I have people over for Sunday brunch,  I am very grateful to nap in the afternoon and no way will I go out that night for dinner.  

How I do my tarot readings

Every so often I put up a blog piece like this,  explaining how I do my readings.

I've been writing this blog since 2009,  and had been reading tarot cards for many years before then. So I'm very familiar with the cards.

Tarot doesn't so much predict the future as describe the present.  So the cards say,  here's what going on,  and here's what going to happen if you keep doing what you are doing.   I recently said to someone it's pointing out the ingredients before you.  Don't like what it's cooking? Well, you can get different ingredients but that takes time and energy and planning.  And some patterns are very deep and hard to shift.  Sometimes I say to people,  your work energy is very strong,  let's focus on that for the time being,  let the other stuff go.  Or I'll see that your love energy is all consuming,  let's focus on that.  

But first,  you have to shuffle the cards.  For me,  all the magic is in the shuffling.  As I do most of my readings online, that means you need to access a deck.  You can buy or borrow one , but it has to be a proper tarot deck with 78 cards.  You move the cards,  you draw them out,  your fingers decide what's going to happen. If you are buying a deck,  I recommend the Rider Waite Radiant,  as a clear,  easy to read tarot deck.  But there are thousands of decks out there,  get one that speaks to you and I'll work with it. 

After you get your deck I recommend you shuffle every day for 3 or so days,  before the reading,  getting your energy into it.  Then when we skype/zoom/facetime or however we get to see each other,  the cards are warm and ready to be read. 

Firstly we lay out 10 cards,  into a spread called the Celtic Cross - like this picture.  Once we have all 10 cards out,  I do what I call a cold reading,  where I don't know what's going on for you and just tell you what I see.  That takes about 5-10 minutes.  Only after that do we begin discussing what you drew and what feels right,  and what needs more explanation.  We do this in the privacy and quiet of your home,  and I encourage people to record the readings, it's a lot of information and this gives you a chance to listen again and mull over it. 

The reading takes about an hour and costs $150.  Or I can do a shorter reading,  about thirty minutes,  for $80. 

Want to know more?  Explore the blog,  there's a lot to read here!  And then drop me a line - tribecatarotreader@gmail.com and we can set up an appointment. 

Quote of the week

 

I read this on threads - I hope someone loves you so well,  you'll never have to go to another tarot reading again.

Which is a sweet blessing,  to be that sure,  that you don't have to ask any questions about love.  

I frequently do readings for people who don't ask me anything about their spouse - that's all good.  They want to know about work,  or about if they can conceive,  or if they are on the right path.  

So even with the love stuff sorted,  you may still want to go to a tarot reader.  But I also hope that someone loves you so well,  that you don't need to ask questions about it.  

KPop Demon Hunters

Finding a film that my husband and I and our adult son want to see,  not so simple!  So when my son suggested Kpop Demon Hunters,  we all kind of shrugged and agreed.

It wasn't high art,  but it was a really excellent piece of entertainment. 

And the last song,  where our three heroines got together and sang their truth?  It was wonderful and moving.  I'm humming it now!

What it sounds Like 

Nothing but the truth now

Nothing but the proof of what I am

The worst of what I came from, patterns I'm ashamed of

Things that even I don't understand

I tried to fix it, I tried to fight it

My head was twisted, my heart divided

My lies all collided

I don't know why I didn't trust you to be on my side

I broke into a million pieces, and I can't go back

But now I'm seeing all the beauty in the broken glass

The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony

My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like

Why did I cover up the colors stuck inside my head?

I should've let the jagged edges meet the light instead

Show me what's underneath, I'll find your harmony

The song we couldn't write, this is what it sounds like

We're shattering the silence, we're rising, defiant

Shouting in the quiet, "You're not alone"

We listened to the demons, we let them get between us

But none of us are out here on our own

So we were cowards, so we were liars

So we're not heroes, we're still survivors

The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired

But dive in the fire, and I'll be right here by your side

We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back

But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass

The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony

My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like (ah)

Why did we cover up the colors stuck inside our head?

Get up and let the jagged edges meet the light instead

Show me what's underneath, I'll find your harmony

Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like

This is what it sounds like

Hey! (Oh-oh, oh-oh), hey! (Oh-oh)

This is what it sounds like

Hey! (Oh-oh, oh-oh), hey! (Oh-oh)

This is what it sounds like

Hey! (Oh-oh), hey! (Oh-oh)

This is what it (sounds like), this is what it

This is what it sounds like

We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back

But now I'm seeing all the beauty in the broken glass

The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony

My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like

Why did we cover up the colors stuck inside our head?

Get up and let the jagged edges meet the light instead

Show me what's underneath, I'll find your harmony

Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like

My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like (between, ah)

Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like

Truth after all this time, our voices all combined

When darkness meets the light, this is what it sounds like

Why are Men struggling?

I read both the New York Times and the Washington Post most days and I'm astonished at how many articles I see about men,  and their struggles.  A  recent one,  by Shadi Hamid,  talked about how difficult it is to find a partner when religion actually matters to you and you want to raise your kids as Muslims,  which I found interesting. 

But in these articles,  and in threads,  it all seems that men have suddenly become overwhelmed.  Too many choices and yet they feel they are not chosen often enough; unwillingness to commit with an unwillingness to narrow their lives to this one choice.  It's like they can only draw  the seven of cups,  too many options leading to paralysis.  

What I tell everyone is that you can one cup, or I'll be super generous and give you two,  but you cannot have all the cups - and it's not personal,  it's not only you -  no one can have all the cups.  And to chose one means that others start to become less available. And we,  as a culture,  have to be okay with that.  I tell people you cannot be both a professional athlete and a brain surgeon.  The time constraints don't work.  So you have to chose one or the other. And yes,  you may always feel a twinge when you come into contact with the one you didn't chose,  but you can't have both.  

I think men,  who had the illusion of power for so long,  and now feel it ripped away by a myriad of cultural shifts,  can't chose.  And so they are struggling.

I guess I'm telling them to chose one,  commit to one,  cherish one and see what happens.  At least it's not paralysis,  at the very least it's a learning experience, and at the most,  it's a life changing/progressing one. 

Bad energy weeks

Some weeks nothing goes right.  Some weeks you always get out on the wrong side of bed,  everything that can go wrong does,  your computer doesn't work and you keep missing the bus.  It's almost like you've caught a bad luck virus.  You start to feel raw and vulnerable.

When this happens to me, I do two things - 1) be kind to myself.  Even if I am part of everything going wrong,  even it was specifically my fault,  I need to be gentle.  Being mean to myself really doesn't help.  And 2) go slow.  Maybe I'm rushing through things,  maybe I'm tripping over my own feet.  Maybe I just need some quiet time to let myself slow down and heal. 

So if you are having a bad week,  know that this sometimes happens,  and it too shall pass.  Be the hanged man,  be kind to yourself and others.  Slow down,  do soft and gentle things.  And the energy will pass.  It always does. 

Cat Tarot cards by Thiago Correa

Life Skills

Everyone has something that they find easy,  that other people find hard.  But skills are transferable.  

I was dreadful with food for many years,  eating my feelings and under exercising.  But I was always great with money,  feeling satisfied with staying within my budget and smug when I got things on sale.  There were years where the only things I bought full price were groceries. 

And I met these gorgeous,  thin,  smart young women coming for Tarot Readings,  who were really dreadful with money.  They could control and motivate themselves effortlessly around food and exercise,  but they had no self control around expenditures. 

And I said,  these are the same skills.  The skills that make you not eat a full bar of chocolate,  you can transfer that attitude to shopping.  It was so eye opening for me (sometimes I actually take my own advice!)   It really helped me with food. I began saying to myself, it's costs too much,  thinking about how many calories were in a dessert.

And I'd encourage the girls to look at the shoes and work out much they were paying on interest to get them, and declare them too fattening!  I made a lot of girls laugh with that line,  and then stop and think.  I still get feedback to this day from some of my clients that that idea really helped them. 

My new favorite Deck

I began reading tarot cards so long ago,  that really the only deck available was the Rider Waite.  And so I imprinted on it,  and learnt all my reading skills from those extraordinary, intricate images.  I still recommend it as the best deck for new readers.  Most other decks are influenced by or based on it. 

But then the internet exploded,  and all sorts of new images/visual interpretations emerged. 

Every so often I stumble across a new deck,  and each image is more perfect than the next,  and I get greedy to have it in my hands. 

So my new favorite Deck is the Grand Bear Deck by Lise Abbaddie,  a french designer.   It took me a good hour online trying to find the source of all these amazing cards,  and from what I can tell, the deck is not complete,  I can't buy it. But I want to!  I'll join their mailing list and preorder as soon as I can! 

Let yourself be served

I was doing a tarot reading for a woman who was under a lot of stress.  She drew way too many swords and any positive cards were reversed. 

So we discussed ways to reduce stress.  She said she was eating really badly - skipping meals and then doubling down on sugary snacks.  So I said,   go to a restaurant,  order a salad that someone else has made,  and let yourself be served.  You deserve to be taken care of,  and you deserve healthy,  delicious food.  

She teared up.  She hadn't thought about it in those terms before,  but the idea of being looked after,  of not having to buy, cook and tidy up a meal,  was something she realized she really wanted. 

I hope it nourishes her well. 

News Avoidance

We have a habit in our household,  the tv goes on at 7 and we watch the news.  But every so often,  the news is so bleak,  or enraging,  or overwhelming,  that I just can't bear it,  and I mute it.  Of course,  in sunny, safe Sydney,  this is an option I can take.  But I've been thinking about news avoidance,  because so many people, both here and New York, are saying/doing the same thing.  And I guess I want the news channels to start thinking about how they engage with us,  and what the news is doing to us and to them.  We need better options about knowing what is going on and then dealing with it.

It reminds me of Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs and Steel.  I read it way back when and found it so overwhelming in it's portents that I had to put it down and pause for a bit between reads.  It's so well written and I completely believed it,  but I felt powerless before it.  Almost thirty years later,  we've caught up a bit to his rage and knowledge and most accept his viewpoint as true,  but we still have to deal with the next step - what to do about it!

Joanna Macy,  Buddhist and deep ecologist,  has an approach called 'Active Hope.'  She doesn't want us to be reassured and comfortable,  but neither does she wants us to be despairing and distraught.  Instead,  she wants us to see what is true and real,  and then work within our world to make it better.  She writes in her website - in the face of overwhelming social and ecological crises, this work helps people transform despair and apathy into constructive, collaborative action.

I very much want to have a better world and do believe that collaborative, constructive action is the way to go. So I'm off to find a corner of the world where I can help and make things better...

Wishing you the same calming, foundational energy!

Amanda Knox

I was vaguely aware of the Amanda Knox story as it unfolded in Italy in 2007,  but I wasn't at all invested in it,  as we can be in some famous cases.  

In fact,  when this trailer appeared,  I had to look up if the consensus was she was innocent or not.

Of course that put me down a steep rabbit hole! And I came to this interview with her,  about her book. 

And in it she said so many things I fundamentally agree with!

Every place is the place of someone's worst tragedy and someone's best moments.

Amanda Knox

It's such an important thing to remember - that on the day of your mother's funeral,  someone else is getting married, that there is a ying and yang to every thing, and that that is a good thing! 

I liked everything she said and will go look for her book Free,  My search for Meaning.  It looks really interesting. 

Quote of the Day

"Never make fun of people for mispronouncing a word. It means they learned it by reading." Anon

As someone who was a first generation English speaker in my family, and learnt so many words by reading, this really speaks to me. And English is such a ridiculous language - so many words are spelt oddly and there are so many exceptions to the rules.

I learnt this quote later in life, but really take it to heart. We should be proud of people who learn by their own efforts and be gracious to them!

Teenage crushes

Did a tarot reading for a woman recently divorced.  She put it up on her facebook page.  All of a sudden,  these boys she went to high school with popped up,  25 years or so later,  to tell her that they had had crushes on her in their teens,  and did she want to go out now.  

She told me that her teenage years had been so isolated and lonely,  and she wished she had known then,  that she could be attractive.  She may have chosen a different man altogether if she knew she had options. (Isn't that a wonderful Austen like 7 of cups card!) 

So now she isn't dating any of them (she moved over a thousand miles away from her High School town over 20 years ago,  and isn't interested in going back.) But she's more open to letting people know how she feels in the here and now.  And she knows she can attract people into her life. 

Aqua aerobic thoughts

I'm sitting on the edge of the pool,  waiting for class to begin,  looking at all the bodies.  Some young,  some old,  some fat,  some pregnant, some very fit.  And every body is beautiful. There is something in each and everyone of them that is precious and lovely. 

When you let yourself see that,  see the physical joy in others,  it's such a kind warm space to be in.   I want to stay in that space.  I want to see myself in that space... 

Being mean makes me feel bad

 

Just a reminder that there are people out there who don't want to be mean,  even in a game with no consequences.  

And seeing how this planet has plenty of consequences,  let's remember that being mean is an awful feeling,  masking feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.  So let's face the underlying feelings and stop being mean to strangers,  do our own hard work. Then both us and the world become much better.

Burned haystack dating method

You know the old saying,  it's like finding a needle in a haystack?  Well, Jennie Young played with that saying and created the burned haystack dating method. Basically,  instead of painstakingly searching,  burn that haystack to the ground,  and voila,  a needle appears.

What it means is that she recommends being super selective with your dating apps,  using really strong filters and blocking anyone who doesn't fit your parameters.  Yes,  you may miss some good men,  but you will also miss a whole lot of chaff,  and you will get to your needle much quicker. 

She recommends radical honesty in your dating profiles - say what it is you really want - and stick to it.  If anyone offers things other than that (I really want kids should not match with I'm open to having  kids,  open is not a real match to really want.  Or I really want fidelity is not a match to I'm open to fidelity.) The goal of the profile,  according to her,  is to be a gatekeeper,  and to keep most people out.  

This of course,  depends on you really knowing what you really want.  It also depends on a certain depth of experience with dating.  Because I worry about people setting parameters too tightly.  I've worked in a dating agency and one thing I came to realize is that people really don't know what they want until it walks through the door.  They have a lot of thoughts about what they might want,  but they often surprise themselves.   

So if you really do know what you want,  and really have been on way too many dates and really finding the apps overwhelming,  then I recommend trying this method.  I absolutely agree with her that you should meet as soon as possible,  weeks of texting just soak up time and often go nowhere.   I've had some laughs with tarot clients over the years about it,  and have heard some success around it.

Pan Narrans

So I was reading (I'm always reading) and came across the concept of Pan Narrans.  It was originated by Terry Pratchett, Jack Cohen, and Ian Stewart when talking about Discworld in The Science of Discworld,  book II.

Basically it says that what makes homo sapiens extraordinary is not tool use,  plenty of animals use tools,  nor problem solving,  lots of animals can solve quite complex problems, or even basic communication.  What sets us apart is our ability to tell stories.  All sorts of stories - personal history,  national history,  fact and fiction. 

We can create what-if scenarios which allow us to get much more intricate in our problem solving.  According to them,  scientific research is basically advanced storytelling,  where we create ideas about the world and then test them to see if we were correct. 

We can describe our tools down the ages,  which allow for more complex tools to be created.  And when we developed writing,  one of our most advanced tools, we could recall more than one human mind could hold,  making our world bigger than our brains. 

Intrinsically we become the stories we tell ourselves.  About us personally,  about our history,  what we chose to remember/record and what we don't. 

So we are the storytelling animal and that is what sets us apart.  Thus they renamed Homo Sapiens,  to Pan Narrans,  the storytelling animal. 

The book Sapiens, by Yuval Harari,  covers much of the same ground.  As does the Science of Storytelling, by Will Storr. 

It's a great perspective and I think they are all right.   In tarot readings we examine the stories we tell ourselves about our lives and challenge them to see if they give us the outcomes we want, and what do to if we want different outcomes.  Stories have amazing power.