Things that give you joy

Often people come to me during troubled times in their lives.  It's easy to get focused on what we long for,  what we don't have.  And we do discuss during our readings,  what is it we are doing (or not) to help us get what we want.  And what are we doing that may get in our own way.

But this is about joy.  Sometimes in our longings,  we forget about focusing on things that give us joy. They don't have to be huge or complicated.  Buying fresh flowers for ourselves,  developing a new hobby,  looking at beautiful images.  

The reason this came to mind is because I follow the National Geographic photos on face book.  And often those images are so amazing,  it just makes you heart sing,  makes you smile.  Someone else has spent hours of their life capturing that one perfect image,  and I think of them with gratitude and then send that photo on to friends and family.  

So it's not about money,  or even time,  but about knowing what gives you pleasure and setting up life to give you some surprising joyous notes. 

So much of our day to day life is habit.  Getting into the habit of giving yourself 5 minutes of joy a day,  you will be amazed how much impact that will have on the rest of your day! 

All photos by Swedish-Dutch photographer Geert Weggen (who I found on the national geographic facebook page)

Empress

At every reading one or two cards will speak to you more strongly than the others.  Then I tell you that your home work after the reading is to search the web  - this blog,  my pintrest page, just google images and find a version of that card that speaks to you. Then keep it close - on your phone, printed out by your computer,  close to remind you of that energy and how to follow/preserve it better.

For example this is the traditional image from the Rider Waite tarot deck of the Empress

And these are a few of the images you can find on line

From the Tarot Deck of Luminaries

or

 

from Tarot Illuminati deck

All quite different images,  which might speak to you differently.

And this is the image I saw to today that really caught my eye.  I tell people that the Empress is often shown as pregnant,  she can give birth to new ideas,  new ventures,  new baby (always a very happy card to draw for those trying to get pregnant!)  And here she is,  an image that just spoke to me about what the card represents:

Lightseer’s Tarot by Chris-Anne Donnelly

One of the big things that has changed since I started reading tarot is how many new decks/images there are today.  There are an abundance of ideas and it's always good to have a look around and see which version speaks most clearly to you... 

Relationships require work

People often come to me in the early stages of dating,  asking me if this person is 'the one'.  And the cards are easy with that,  they read the energy really clearly. 

But they also often come and ask,  should I leave,  and one of the things I reply with is,  Relationships require work.   I see relationships fold, not because of infidelity or indifference, but because life has so many moving pieces,  and people often put the adult relationship at the bottom of the list as they focus on work,  kids,  family commitments,  sport etc...  And then you just look at the co parent,  co partner,  co whatever and think,  could it be better with another company? 

I often refer people to Harville Hendrix's Getting the Love you Want (what a great title, who doesn't want that?!) which is a very cheap way to get some really excellent advice.

One client told me that her marriage counsellor gave her these 3 questions to check in with each other every morning:

How are you feeling today?

What are you looking forward to today?

What are you worried about today?

So just feel that your person is checking in on you and you both know what's on the boil for the each other. 

When I give this kind of advice,  sometimes people's eyes glaze over. They don't want to do this,  they want the romance, limerence and excitement that was there is the early days,  when prioritizing each other was easy and they were excited at being in contact.  But all long term relationships require maintenance and just as we talk about self care,  and making sure you give yourself time to breathe and grow, so too, do you need to give time and attention to your primary relationship.  It's not easy and breathlessly romantic,  but it can ground and grow the love... 

Just after I wrote this piece,  the NYT ran this article about Terrence Real which speaks to much the same issues. 

High Priestess

I was doing a reading for a woman recently and she placed the High Priestess in a crucial position in her spread and we were talking about it.  I always use/ recommend the Rider Waite Deck.  Looking at the card and she said to me, "What do the B and J on the columns mean?"  And I'm not sure if I ever knew,  but I definitely forgotten it by then, and I said I would research it for her.

So today,  reading a totally different blog,  nothing to do with Tarot,  I came across a description of the first Temple built by King Solomon in Jerusalem,  and he had two huge pillars at the entrance,  with the letters B and J carved into them.   The Masons have taken these symbols and made them important to their traditions as well.  I never knew that!  

So the B and the J in the High Priestess refer to two names Boaz and Jachin,  implying Strength and Stability/Establishment.  The black and the white of the columns are the ying and yang,  always looking for balance,  always acknowledging a need for both energies,  masculine and feminine,  introvert and extrovert,  dark and light,  for true insight.  To only allow one energy is to be imbalanced, and an imbalanced view won't give you true insight.

It's such a dense and layered card!  Always happy to refresh myself about the intricacies of each individual card. 

April Fools

I often think about jokes and pranks and the subtle (or blatant) cruelty that can underlie them.  And because we say "it's a joke" it's hard for someone to say,  "I didn't find it funny,  I'm hurt." 

I feel that way about surprise parties too.  All day long it's your birthday and no one says anything to you and you start to feel bereft and neglected and then "Surprise" everyone is in the room.  But the feelings of sadness and neglect,  once raised,  are hard to pack away,  and then you have to juggle both joy at the party and that weird feeling you had all day. 

I'm really of the opinion that if the butt of the jokes isn't genuinely laughing,  then it's not a funny joke. Or that one person or group of people can say something,  but if a different person or group of people say the same thing,  it can be funny the first time, with trust and affection,  and not at all funny the second time,  where it can feel like ridicule and disrespect. 

Even sit coms, where we laughed in the 90's, can feel dated and awkward today. I also think we've gotten a lot better about this over the years,  and the casual brutal bullying of years gone by are not so acceptable now. 

Keeping it real

Sometimes things just interest you,  because of the time and effort other people put into it.  I'm not remotely high fashion.  Even making that statement,  makes me laugh,  as if I ever could be.  But I like looking at beautiful people in beautiful clothes, and why not.

So I look at Met Gala images or Oscar Night or other huge fashion events,  just to see what people are wearing.  And I came across the name Law Roach,  a fashion stylist who is the current zeitgeist.  I literally only knew his name,  nothing else.  

And then I came across this interview with him in The Cut,  and it's actually one of the most honest and interesting interviews about any industry,  that I've read.  It increased my respect for him a thousand fold.  I always say that tarot is a conversation,  where the most honest you are,  the more you get out of it.  And seeing this man be so blazingly honest in such a public venue,  letting himself be vulnerable and bold like that,  it's a rare pleasure.  So now that I know so much more about him,  I'm sorry he's leaving being a stylist but so happy that he is following his joy,  and I look forward to seeing what more he can bring to the world of fashion and creativity.  

I've been writing this blog for over 14 years

When I get a request from a new client,  I often direct them to my blog,  and when they book a reading,  I send them a link with the Celtic Cross, so they know how to lay out the cards.  This is the layout I always start with,  from which I do my cold reading,  where I don't know you or your story,  and just tell you what the cards tell me.

So I had a new client recently,  and sent her the link with the Celtic Cross and she said when we had our facetime reading,  she said,  wait,  this link is from 2012.  And I said,  well,  I wrote it a while ago,  but it's still accurate and,  no,  no,  she interrupted me.  I mean you've been writing about the tarot for over 11 years.  Well,  I replied,  I've been writing this blog since 2009,  but I've been reading cards for much longer than that.

You should tell people that! she almost yelled at me.  I mean,  you've been doing this forever!

I thought I had been telling people how long I've been reading the tarot and writing the blog,  but she thinks it's not obvious enough,  and she wants me to emphasize it more.  So here is a blog piece to be clear - I've been writing this blog for over 14 years and reading the cards for much longer than that.  

If you have any questions about various cards,  you can always type a word beside the B in the upper left corner,  (eg,  page of swords) and any blog pieces I've written about it will pop up,  so you can read further about it. 

I'm always encouraged when my clients want me to improve my marketing.  Really,  word of mouth is the best referral I have.  So far I've read for 3 of her friends.  If you would like me to read for you,  please contact me on liat@albanyconsult.com or text me on +61 477 433 555 and we'll set something up...