Seven of Wands

People have readings from me and they are scattered all over the world (ok,  mainly in the US East and West Coasts,  but also in London and Canada and occasionally South Africa)  And they are all shuffling their own decks and laying out their own cards.

And even with all these different decks and cards,  still themes emerge.  Lately lots of my readings have the 7 of wands in important places. 

The Seven of Wands is a card of self defence - it's not a violent card,  we usually don't see who we are fighting against,  and unlike the swords,  there's no undertone of malice.  But we are standing up for our own point of view.

And maybe in these tumultuous times,  the cards are saying,  wait, stop,  think for yourself.  Don't automatically fight everyone,  but also,  don't just go with the flow.  Think for yourself -  is this right for you?  is this the right time for you?  do you really want this?   

These are super important questions and only you can answer them.  Sometimes we are offered something and it's only with the offer that we see whether we really want it or not.  Perhaps we wanted it earlier but now we don't.  Perhaps it would work for us in a few years but now it doesn't.  Or perhaps we really do want it but important people in our lives are casting doubt.  The seven of cards encourages you to think things out for yourself and defend your own point of view.

A rant on relationships

I've been reading a lot lately about historical marriages - mainly about the marriages of powerful people,  because they were the ones written about.  Romantic marriage is a very modern idea.  Prior to that,  you married who was your age in the village or who had the land next to yours,  or who you met in your very small circle.  Royals moved farther afield to marry,  but had no choice at all,  and often moved to places where they did not speak the language and had no idea of what was going on for a few years at least.  

It was awful for the women,  but frankly,  it was pretty dire for the men as well.  I know,  I know,  they had the option of mistresses and being mean to their wives.  But they didn't have choice.  They had to marry who their parents or their court or their country needed.  So when we talk about how awful marriage was for women,  and don't acknowledge that men were also not free,  it inflames the incels and makes us seem unaware that many men's situations were also fraught.  

One fact that caught my eye is that I read somewhere (I read so much,  I can never cite my facts,  sorry!) that the great grandchild of Dukes,  the highest rank under Royalty in Britain,  were often in genteel poverty.  So you were the third son of a Duke,  and if you didn't marry well,  your grandchildren would be teachers/struggling civil servants while your brother's grandchildren would be Dukes.   Trust me,  these third son's were very aware of their situations and had to marry well too.  

Of course, once married they could torment and abuse their wives in a terrible way.  I'm not saying it was easier on the women. It was definitely harder on them.  An awful, intolerable situation.   I'm just saying it was difficult for the men too,  even the powerful well born ones.   

Another book I read mentioned how when a man has a several wives (or a hareem),  it can be truly awful for the women there. But it also means,  from a plain mathematical point of view, that if one man has 4 wives,  that means 3 men get no wives.  None at all.  

I guess I just want to say is that both sides have had it tough.  Women spoke up and fought for their freedoms and bless them all for it,  I am the grateful recipient of their battles.  I have a university degree,  I have bank accounts,  I have a life I could have had without them.  

But men had a struggle too and what they have seen is women become increasingly emancipated,  but they didn't feel the same rush of giddy power.  Instead they felt their world get smaller.  

What we want is peace and empathy between the sexes,  so that when we meet,  there is a chance for a genuine connection.  And we can't have that if we are both looking through our blinders and seeing only our point of view. 

Highly Recommended Books

There are so many self help books out there,  no one can read them all! So I often ask my clients what they are reading or what book/idea has helped them the most.

Here is a list of books,  some I have read,  some have been highly recommended to me,  all of which I feel comfortable sharing with you:

The Book of Boundaries, by Melissa Urban.  When two separate clients,  from 2 different states  recommend the same book,  I take note!

Atomic Habits by James Clear.  I really liked the premise here,  that tiny new steps (almost at the atomic level) can effect huge change.

 

Don't Believe everything you think,  by Joseph Ngyuen.  Just loved this title,  it's so true! 

 

Make your Bed,  by William H McRaven.  A nice list of healthy habits/ attitudes which can impact your life for the better.

 

The good place was one of my all time favorite tv series - if you haven't seen it, you're in for a treat!  How to Be Perfect is a book by Michael Schur, the very smart creator of the good place.  Enjoy! 

I don't get any money from these recommendations or these links.  I'm just suggesting them because there is so much out there,  and these are leaders in their fields.

I often tell people that for a very small investment you can get a sentence that can change your life.  So even if you only get one sentence from each of these books,  that will be well worth the investment of time and money. 

Quote of the Day

“You can only see as far as your headlights shine, but you can make the whole trip that way.”  E.L. Doctrow

People come to tarot to see further ahead.  And it does shine the light a bit further - but not years further.  I say a good tarot reading will tell you about the next 6 months,  but not much more than that - there are too many alternatives after that to see further with true clarity.  

But it can definitely tell you where your energy is strongest,  where it needs shoring up.  So that can help a lot!  And with clear intention,  you help steer the the six months go the way you need... 

If you could talk to your 22 year old self, what would you say?

I often have 22 year olds come to me,  just graduated,  starting life,  guard rails off,  it's a good time to visit a tarot card reader. 

And so this question resonates for me.  I tell them I wish someone had told me that my 20's will be hard.  I thought,  I've emerged,  the planet was waiting for me,  but it took a good few years and a some really odd jobs till I found my groove.  The 22 year olds are so happy when I say that.  People forget how hard the first few years out of college are. 

Also,  don't sleep with people you don't like.  You won't like them more afterwards.  I tell people that flirtation is like champagne, light and bubbly,  but sex is much earthier.  And if you mix champagne and earth,  often you get mud.  Let yourself flirt and the flirtation be enough.  You absolutely don't have to have sex with someone just because you flirted all night. But if you want to have sex,  go ahead - sleep with who you want,  explore whatever kinks you like,  always use a condom.  And if they say they don't have one,  smile and supply your own.  Pregnancy is the nicest thing you can catch from unprotected sex and abortions are complicated.  

What else would I tell myself?  Nothing I write will be as good as this Dear Sugar piece (from 2011! The internet remembers everything!)  I loved the naive pomposity line.  I was definitely naively pompous when I was 22.

And of course,  I always end with Be Kind to Yourself.  Stop judging yourself and others so harshly.  (wait, was that just a me thing?)  The older I get,  the less I judge.  I too could have/should have/ might have done that.  Give Grace,  it's such a gift - to you and to others.  That's what we all need now - more moments of Grace. 

Saturday Night Live

Nothing is so subtle as comedy.  Watching SNL in Australia,  it was fine,  watching it while living in New York,  it was much funnier. 

My husband and I met doing student reviews at university.  They were exactly like SNL with much smaller budgets (and audiences!) but the same manic energy.

We watched the documentary about SNL recently -the first in the series was a  heartwarming sentimental one about the auditions.  But then we watched the episode about the writers which went over in detail how the week was spent.  And I looked at my husband and said,  they do that again the following week?  They must have nervous breakdowns after a while!

It really brought home to me how much hard work and exhaustion goes into the show.  And how much Lorne Michaels, the final curator,  influences the show.  

It's a testament that it has run for 50 years,  and it has given us some of the funniest people on television.  I don't watch it regularly anymore,  but perhaps I'll start again. The documentary series is really excellent. 

Valentine's Day

You know when I liked Valentine's Day the best?  When my son was in kindergarten and we had to make a card for each class member,  boy or girl.  So we would spend the week before Valentine's day gluing and glittering and adding feathers and buttons. 

It was all inclusive,  sharing and silly.   Perfect!

But often my readers find Valentine's a day of performative pressure.  Will he get me flowers,  will it be a perfect date,  did we get the right restaurant booking,  is my friends insta so much better than mine...  It becomes competitive or alienating,  performative or lonely. 

So my advice for Valentines Day - make some beautiful home made cards for dear friends,  don't stint on the feathers or the glitter and let all the other stuff go.  Let's make it fun again! 

Seeing the woods AND the trees

Sometimes I want to write a post and realize it's becoming a maze,  I'm cramming in too much information and meandering through too many trails.  

Sometimes when we are looking at our own lives,  we can't see the wood for the trees - we either get lost in the details or fixated on one issue and can't see the big picture or how things are playing off each other.

That's where a reading helps.  It starts with a big picture overview,  (the celtic cross reading) and then gets down to the nitty gritty (the questions) and hopefully gets you to a clearer place. 

Of course sometimes we want simple solutions to complex questions.  And the tarot can do that too,  but there is always effort and cost (emotional,  spiritual , physical and financial) to shift and you have to be prepared to do that... 

Old and New Love

A while ago one of my regulars came to see me. This was her third reading with me and each time someone comes,  I can connect the dots better.

Last time she came,  interested in someone relatively new in her life,  but the cards didn't like him. She drew the Page of Swords/  Page of Cups/ 7 wands reversed around him.  

This time she came and said because of the cards,  she wasn't angry with him,  or with herself when they broke up.  She could see that they wanted different things.  Neither of them was a bad person,  but he wasn't grounded or ambitious enough for her,  she doesn't want page energy (let alone 2!),  she's 32 and ready for a King.

This time when she asked about love in the future she drew  Strength / 9 cups R / Lovers   Much better, more adult cards.  But also a warning - sometimes the 9 of cups (I call it the fat and happy card) is about contentment,  being happy with what we've got.  But when it's reversed,  it can mean don't settle, it's okay to have standards and boundaries.  Her cards were searching for a proper,  equal Lover this time,  no more pages,  she's worked on her strength and ready for the real thing now. 

Always useful

At a recent reading,  we spoke about what to do while having a panic attack, and I mentioned this.  My client asked for a copy of it,  so I'm giving it to all of you.

Of course you have to remember to do it,  but if you can remember (and take a photo and keep it on your phone) and you do it,  it will help... 

I also recommend taking Suntheanine and Pharma GABA when you feel you are about to have a bad day,  or know you are going in to a stressful situation.  I take them before flying and they have always helped me.  I get the Natural Factors brand and get them from Amazon. 

First Great Book of the Year (for me, it was published in 2011)

I just read Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller.   I have to confess I don't know or remember much about the Trojan wars.  I know some of the names of the main characters,  and some of the big moments,  but not much else.  

So I pick up this book without much expectation and I'm just swept into the world of ancient Greece.  It's beautifully written,  evocative,  and just feels real,  like a proper retelling.  It has a great sense of time and place,  with small perfect details,  as well as sweeping vistas.  It follows the known story,  but focuses mainly on the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus.  

Also,  don't read the Wiki page if you don't know the story,  because the telling is suspenseful and beautiful.   I was so sad and shaken at the end.  Of course everyone dies - it's a 3,000 year old tale! But how everyone lives and dies just resonates in this book.  I fell in love with Patroclus.  He had a wonderful clear voice.  You don't have to have read the Iliad to read this. 

I'm so happy I found it, and just want to share it as widely as possible.  It was a rich,  honey filled treat. 

New Year, New Energy

I like to start the New Year with a brisk sweep out of all the small tasks that were hung over from the last year.  So I've been returning borrowed items,  talking with the bank (ok,  with occasional yelling and eye rolling)  making appointments and filling up my calendar with vet's appointment,  doctor's appointments, etc...  

It makes me feel organized  and a little more in control.  Last year we started with new passports,  this year with new driver's licence.  Easy to remember when they need renewal if they are all around January. 

It's not that my cleaning energy is so strong,  but I do like things to feel fresh.  I wish you a feeling of freshness and briskness and may you get through your list of tasks and feel on top of things!  Tarot is a reading of where your energy is strong, and where it needs some shift to make things happen. If you want to get a more accurate read of your energy,  drop me a line and we'll set up a tarot reading. 

Dealing with frustration

For all my new year's resolutions,  I find myself more easily frustrated right now.  Annoying bureaucracy,  bad drivers,  poor communication - it all triggers me.  I feel when the world is a whirlpool, it's hard not to get sucked in. I'm trying to be better about sleep,  listening to my sound baths,  walking the dog,  practicing gratitude.  

But the poor telebanking staff just got my goat this morning,  asking me questions that I just can't answer and then drowning me in their computer speak, I was impatient.  It can't be fixed on line or on the phone,  so now I have to go in and fix their problem...  First world problem, but it's one more thing for me to do.

So I think about how to be a better version of me.  I'm a work in progress,  but I can't progress every day!  Today I will walk the dog and smell the gardens, damp with summer heat and reclaim my equanimity.

Tarot readings

Traditionally,  January is one of my busier months.  People want to see what the new year will bring.  Will I get new work, a new lover,  new place? Am I on the right path?  All valid questions.  Sometimes people want to know when something will happen. But tarot reads your energies.  It will say soon,  or not soon,  or too far away to tell,  but it won't say,  on the 5th of February X will happen.  It's never that precise. 

I've had a lot of feedback over the years where people tell me that this listen to the recording of the reading and within 6 months,  everything we discussed came to pass.  Things that weren't obvious initially,  become clear as time passes.  I have a lot (mainly) repeat clients,  so I know from their feedback that my readings are accurate. 

So if you are looking to see if your actions are going to get the results you want,  if you want to see a snapshot of where your energies are strongest right now,  give me a call and we'll set up a reading.  

I'm currently in Sydney,  Australia and all my readings are virtual.  We read from the comfort of your home.    For me the magic is in the shuffling,  so you will need to get your hands on a deck - old or new,  it doesn't matter -and shuffle it quite a bit over 3 days,  and then we'll have the reading and I'll tell you what I see. 

In the meantime,  wishing you well for the new year.