Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is such a slippery thing.  It's when you pay more attention,  notice and remember things which hold to your world view,  and find it harder to look at,  analyse or accept things which contradict your world view.  Basically you don't believe what you see,  but rather see what you believe.

In these turbulent times,  especially with algorithm derived news,  its very easy to find a bubble which just confirms what you already suspected.  Don't like X,  all your social media feeds to support that view.   Like X,  well, here is some commentary you will agree with. 

Which is why we have to be doubly sure that we are really listening when someone gives us information.  Don't just remember what felt true,  remember the doubts,  and see what truths they were holding.  But also,  be very careful what you are listening to,  because the world is in a strange liminal place right now,  and truth can feel hard to grasp. 

Amazing cards by Lise Abbadie 

5 of wands

I had the funniest exchange the other day.  My client had drawn the 5 of wands,  and I went into my usual description of it - there are people,  clashing with sticks,  but it's sticks, not swords,  so it's like a game of hockey,  and if you sit on the field and huddle,  it's terrifying but if you step up and grab and stick and play,  then it's just a game. 

And she said,  a field?  Hockey's on ice.  And then we had to have a cultural exchange.  As an Australian,  we played field hockey at school.  We had these long curved sticks and ran.  Ice hockey was a derivative of field hockey.  She wasn't sure about that,  and we looked it up on our phones.

"Well, I'll be," she said. "you learn something new every day!"

Shades of Green

I read somewhere that humans can differentiate between shades of green better than any other colour,  a gift from our hunter gatherer days, when knowing the difference between all the foliage meant eating well or dying. 

When I was living in downtown New York sometimes my eyes would hunger for the color green.  Now that I live in Sydney,  near 3 golf courses and a national park,  my eyes see all the shades of green every day I walk the dog,  and I'm so grateful. 

If you are feeling stressed,  go walk in some green - in New York, my favorite was Brooklyn Botanic Gardens.  You'll feel better,  I promise. 

Reframing judging yourself

People observe things and then blame themselves - or others.  But I like this reframing I saw online from Jacquelyn Tenaglia, who describes herself as a no bs therapist. 

❌ “You choose toxic people.”✅ Toxic people are everywhere. Letting them stick around is the issue.❌ “You stayed for too long.” ✅ Leaving is hard when toxic dynamics erode self-worth over time.❌ “You should’ve known better.” ✅ Hindsight can be 20/20.❌ “You ignored red flags.” ✅ Sometimes people don’t show their cards right away. Sometimes we choose familiar people over healthy ones. Or hope can obscure judgment. Learning to trust your instincts strengthens your ability to walk away sooner.

I say a lot of similar stuff to people at readings.  Especially about familiar people over healthy ones.  He feels really familiar,  can mean,  he feels like from my family,  which wasn't a good space for me... takes time to tease that one out!   Also hindsight is a bitch,  foresight is much harder to come to,  which is why tarot readings help... 

Looking at today

When your country does something you don't like,  how do you withstand it?  

When people make a large generalization - all men,  all women,  all Americans,  all Iranians,  all Jews, all Palestinians, it can never be accurate.  In a large enough group,  there is rarely an all,  except that we are all human.  I am suffering,  they are suffering,  we are suffering.  And even leaders we despise are sometimes right and leaders we admire are sometimes wrong.   

All I can say is that world is a complicated and fragile place,  and today it feels more of both. 

I shuffle, hearing the susurrations of the cards as they move through my fingers.  I pull out the 9 of swords.  Well we all are there, the anxiety is alive now,  preventing sleep.  So I chose to meditate on the moon card instead.

I send you blessings of tranquility and calm.

What if the cards give me bad news...

A question I get frequently is what if they cards give me bad news? What if they tell me something I don't want to hear. 

And I say the cards say what they say.  And at times I have felt like Cassandra from Ancient Greek myth,  who was cursed to always tell the truth and not be believed.  

But usually,  when I do a reading,  the other person is nodding their heads,  yes,  I knew this,  I didn't want this outcome,  but I can see it.  And so can a stranger with 78 pieces of cardboard.  It's not that I tell you unbelievable things,  it's that I tell you what you know,  without knowing you at all. 

People come to me in times of flux - it's why they want the reading in the first place.  And during the reading they get their intuition confirmed. I didn't want X to happen,  but I can see what the cards are saying.  Even if the news is not what you want,  talking about it, figuring out what's going on,  can give you understanding, give you back some power and help shift the situation. 

Fiction tell us truths

Here's how I love to watch TV - one episode a night,  till it ends.  None of this waiting all week for a new episode to come out,  but none of this watching 8 hours in one day either.  No,  I like to pace myself. So this is why I come to shows a bit late - I wait for all the episodes to come out before I even start.

We are watching Andor right now.  I just finished the arc about Ghorman.   I am moved by the TV show and the characters but I'm devastated by how it resonates with the world today. I actually feel a bit shaky about how bad the news is,  how people  then gaslight us,  telling us we are are making it sound worse than it is, and how evil wins when truth dies.  Which brings me to Mon Motha's powerful speech: 

It feels like people are creating a truth optional world,  where people believe their alternate facts,  and we can't even agree on the very basics.  Feels dangerous to me. And I'm sorry that this is our present state of reality.